A flaccid, pale penis.

Seriously. This guy just has “I’m a penis” written all over him. It’s unsettling.

At a birthday party in Miami Beach with Eve.

Brandon Davis and Scott Storch in the same photo.

Too much for me to handle. These trashy wanna be’s are in Miami. I guess Miami is where you go when clubs in LA stop letting you in. Really this picture made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

I guess they have stuff to talk about. Like how they both tried to bone Lindsay Lohan and how she turned them both down. Brandon because he was too greasy and Scott because even though he bought her a bunch of ice he still strikes you as that dorky kid from Freshman year with ill fitting pants and a rolley backpack.

He threw her a birthday party (she’s 32, but who’s counting?) in Miami this weekend, which is weird because her birthday is March 28, but when you have a good excuse to have Mark McGrath and Scott Storch in the same place at the same time, why wait??? Unless you’re afraid the universe might just implode into the black hole of cultural fucking relevance formed when these two are in close proximity. Kim Stewart’s tasteful ass is there, too, because her best friend was banging Travis while he was separated from his wife, and because there might be a pink motorcycle she can fall off of. Happy birthday, Shanna. Love the bangs, doll. Try not to get herpes.