I’m watching American Idol tonight, and maybe this is due to my burgeoning Ambien problem, but every time they showed Scott MacIntyre’s face in that dark leather jacket I just thought to myself “They needed this guy for NKOTB.” I mean, look at him! Eyebrows, jawline, vacant stare. He fits right in. Actually, he looks specifically a lot like Joey McIntyre, now that I think about it. And now that I think about it even harder, has anyone actually seen Joey McIntyre lately? In the same place as Scott MacIntyre???

Hmmm.

I’m still a little bit high on Paula’s use of the word “legato,” which is how she referred to Scott’s performance. Hang on a sec, let me get you the exact definition of “legato” as it pertains to vocal performance: “a string of sustained vowels with minimal interruption from consonants.” Ohhhh, Paula. I know now why you like this word. You get a similar definition when you look up the side effects of long-term Xanax abuse.