It’s a fairly well-known trick to put different colors on top and bottom lip to even out their appearance.  But the key is like…slight variations in color.  Scarlett Johansson’s mouth is all I can look at.  Her mismatched mouth appeared at A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Cure Parkinson’s 2008 Benefit for The Michael J. Fox Foundation.

Does Rachael Ray only watch the first twenty minutes of every episode of What Not To Wear?

After talking incessantly about how they were going to have a long engagement, Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds tied the knot this weekend in a low-key ceremony near Vancouver, British Columbia.

Can’t wait for the pregnancy announcement!

A rare shot of Woody Allen and his adopted daughter/wife, Soon-Yi, at the afterparty for the Vicky Cristina Barcelona premiere in LA.

Also there: Scarlett Johansson, looking like she descended from a completely different universe than Woody and Soon-Yi.

The first single off the album, called “Falling Down,” is streaming on AOL.

Listen to it here.

Um, I don’t really know who Tom Waits is, but this sounds like something you’d find on the old masters of a Sarah McLachlan recording session back in 1992.

It’s not, like, super bad or anything. I mean, it’s still a hundred times better than anything Heidi Montag’s come up with. But, Jesus, it’s so, so strange.

Did I mention I can’t believe this is actually fucking happening?

So, so weird.

And, yeah, this is a photo of Scarlett from 1996. Because I accidentally had my WireImage account set up to display search results in ascending chronological order, and so when I was looking for a good photo of Scarlett to use for this post, this photo was the first to show up. And I was like, “So, Scarlett, you wanna be really fucking weird for no good reason? Well. Two can play at that game.”

I keep waiting for her to go on The Today Show or something and be all like, “Ha, fooled ya! You didn’t actually think I was releasing an entire fucking album of Tom Waits covers, did you? Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! You people will fall for anything these days.”

Instead of doing that, though, she’s releasing the album’s cover art.

The album, Anywhere I Lay My Head, is scheduled for a May 20 release. This cover photo was taken in Louisiana, where the album was recorded.

This is so, so weird. It’s as if I were like, “Hey, guys, I’m going to write a book. What I’m going to do is take all of Walt Whitman’s poems and rewrite them in my voice. I’m calling it Leaves of Ass. It’s gonna be awesome.”

Like, why you gotta be so weird, Scarlett?

Natalie and Scarlett have been doing oodles of press for their new movie “The Other Boleyn Girl.” They were on the Today show for instance.

However, yesterday only Natalie showed up… and she did so in something she made in her third grade art class.

Where was Scarlett? Not sure. But they certainly could have used the press as the movie looks to be dead on impact. If you want to watch a dreadful spoiler laden trailer look no further:

Check out Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson promoting The Other Boleyn Girl on The Today Show.