Actually, though it’s true that Scarlett Johansson is singing again, her music doesn’t seem to sound so bad this time around.  To be warned though, when I say “doesn’t sound so bad” that just means that I’m not getting any new pins for my ScarJo voodoo doll.  It’s stillScarlett Johansson, after all.

Johansson paired up with singer-songwriter Pete Yorn who is best known for writing a bunch of music and scores for television shows and movies.  The CD “Break Up” drops September 8th, but the single “Relator” is available for a listen here.  What do you think?  She’s totally going for a Frenetically Happy Amy Winehouse vibe (as if there was such a thing), no?

Scarlett Johansson has aspirations to transition this acting gig of hers into directing.  Sigh…don’t they all say that?  Well she recently had a chance to direct a segment of New York, I Love You and it ended up being “unwatchable.”

According to an insider, “It was really bad, so it was cut.”

In a face-saving move, the movie’s producer Emmanuel Benbihy had a kinder spin:

“Scarlett presented me with an extremely compelling, albeit unconventional, narrative that appeared as though it would not necessarily conform to the overall approach of the entire collective . . . However, I was very much moved by her vision and I did not want to pass on the opportunity to help her develop it. All that matters to me is the genuine movie language of the author.”

He continued: “Scarlett and I nonetheless agreed that a final determination of its appropriateness in the context of the other contributions and the overall story would be best made in the editorial process. And after months of editing . . . I had to admit that there were editorial decisions to be made in the interest of serving the overall narrative and composition that resulted in previously filmed scenes and footage not getting used.”

Translation?  It sucked.

Seriously, Scarlett Johansson should have just done a porn movie.  It would have been more subtle than the new Moet & Chandon ad campaign that she has lent her face and tits to.

Can we all take a moment here to count all the subliminal messages in these pictures?  Scarlett Johansson bringing a magnum to explosive orgasm.  Scarlett Johansson posing with a vase full of vaginae.  Scarlett Johansson fisting an ice bucket.

Forget about drinking champagne.  I need a cold shower.

Scarlett Johansson has been all the talk this week since showing up at a “Tribute to Film” looking, reportedly, very thin.  According to Page Six, ScarJo was prating on about her super strict regimen in anticipation of the filming of Iron Man 2.

Now before we all start having kittens and spiral into two hundred comments about society’s issues with body weight, I never thought Scarlett Johansson was fat.  I didn’t think she was fat before and I don’t think she’s fat now.  But I can’t help but wonder if this story of Scarlett’s extreme thinness wasn’t sourced from her publicist.  Because I really can’t see any difference, whatsoever in her appearance.  Sure, maybe her boobs are a little smaller, and yes, I’ve included pics of the ScarJo of yesteryear so that you may compare.  You’re welcome.

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At the LA premiere of The Spirit on Wednesday night.

Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes both look positively edible at the launch party for The Spirit in London on Thursday.

Scarlett in particular looks younger and happier than I’ve seen her look in forever. Did she have work done — or is marriage just treating her really, really well?