This is genius. Like everything she does.

Aw, what a shitty way to make your “final public appearance” before surrendering two days early to authorities and going to jail. Sarah Silverman opened the MTV Movie Awards with a monologue ripping Paris Hilton to shreds — with Paris in the audience. Listen to the crowd go wild while Paris sits there trying not to cry.

I’m actually bummed that MTV only showed a few brief shots of Par-Par during this. Someone over there has tape of her face throughout the entire monologue, and that’s what I wanna see. Come on, MTV!!! Release that tape!!!

There had been buzz that Paris was actually going to present an award last night, which may have been untrue — or Paris backed out after Silverman’s live diss.

Just some news for ya, Sarah Silverman will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards this year.

No one watches these anymore, because they aren’t live and the winners are announced in advanced. But perhaps this year I will tune in to one of the 42 repeats that will happen on that weekend.

Even better news, this article says these puppies are LIVE!

Silverman + Live = relevant.

It’s almost like MTV isn’t run by a soulless bunch of pansie suits anymore. Welcome back to the land of the living MTV, we’ve missed you this past decade.

Just because.

Also, for the record, I gotta disagree with my sis’ EvilT on the whole Imus thing. I’m not really going to get into it but I’ll throw Sarah Silverman up there as an example of my point. She says the most offensive things and it’s plain old hilarious. I Love her. And so does Jimmy Kimmel.

For better or worse, Imus was trying to be funny. He may not be funny, but it’s always odd who we decide to be moral arbiters on. I call people names and ridicule all day long. Probably my low self esteem… but I guess the good news is I pretty much hate everyone, that’s why I’m filled with spite, as opposed to just hating on a specific group. And if you look at Imus’ record, on air he’s offensive to everyone. Off air he’s charitable and intelligent. One of those sides makes money. But to categorize him as completely hateful is just as “labelriffic” as the very thing everyone’s so bent out of shape about. The world will never be as easy as “He said something bad. Fire him.” If that were the case Sharpton wouldn’t be allowed on TV.

Crap. Now I’ve gone and gotten into it. Sigh.

Justin Timberlake announces plans to launch his own television network, JT TV. I announce plans to throw up a little in my mouth. [POTP]

Remember Lindsay Lohan? [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton does her very best Crocodile Dundee. [Celebslam]

Anna Nicole was cheating … on TRIMSPA! Leave it to CourtTV to get the hard facts in this case. [TMZ]

T.R. Knight is not getting pushed around by anyone anymore! You hear that, Diddy? [Cele|bitchy]

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer pose for some prom post-Grammy photos. [Tabloid Whore]

Paris Hilton won’t have her true commitment to the ground-breaking creation of novel soundscapes diluted by an extended appearance at such self-congratulatory nonsense as the Grammy awards. But you can take her picture real quick. [Defamer]

See? Sarah Silverman is funny. I told you so. [Gawker]

I spend a truly unforgivable amount of time watching television by myself in my living room. I get considerable enjoyment from most of these hours, but it’s very, very rare that I will actually laugh out loud, by myself, in my living room while watching television. Laughing, in that respect, is different from the consumption of alcohol and/or week-old pizza and the use of my vibrator. But I digress.

I totally laughed out loud tonight. Like eight times. I don’t know what it is about Sarah Silverman, but her comedy is truly original. It’s tricky to pin down what makes something funny, but I’ve heard again and again that humor is something both true and unexpected. Sarah’s a genius with this, particularly the latter part. I mean, at this point, we do expect to hear from her on the Holocaust, black people, gays and the government, but somehow her angle is totally fresh each time. There’s no way to explain it. You just have to watch.

If you missed The Sarah Silverman Program, catch it one of the 1800 times Comedy Central will rerun it this week. You won’t regret it.

Finally! The love of my life, Miss Sarah Silverman, has her very own show on Comedy Central. It premieres tomorrow (Thursday) night, people, so you’ve been given enough warning to make sure your TiVos are set. And it’s on at 10:30 (9:30 Central, check your local listings), so you have no fucking excuse to miss it. It’s after The Office and Grey’s Anatomy. And if you are even considering watching Men in Trees instead of Sarah Silverman, please stop reading my blog forever. I mean that. You’re not welcome here.

Clips below.