Despite rumors that Sarah Palin’s youngest child is actually her grandchild, Sarah Palin today admitted that her 17-year-old unwed daughter, Bristol, is five months preggers.

“Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned. We’re proud of Bristol’s decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents. Bristol and the young man she will marry are going to realize very quickly the difficulties of raising a child, which is why they will have the love and support of our entire family,” they added.

Um, anyone know this girl’s birthday?

Was she technically sixteen when she got knocked up?

Look how well your abstinence-only model of sex education worked out, governor!

And now you’re forcing her to marry this dude to save some face? How very progressive of you. I’m sure little Bristol is having no second thoughts about that. That kind of thinking is exactly why Hillary’s supporters wanted a woman in the White House. Jesus.

Anyway, congratulations to Bristol and good luck with all this.

There are very few things that can get me genuinely interested in anything political. In fact, I had previously believed that there was nothing that could get me genuinely interested in anything political. This year, however, has proven me wrong. There are two things, at last count, that can get me genuinely interested in politics: hookers and teen pregnancies.

Since the Eliot Spitzer scandal has died down, I am now thoroughly obsessed with Sarah Palin’s 16-year-old daughter, Bristol, and the child it is becoming increasingly clear she gave birth to, and that her mother claimed as her own to protect her political career. It doesn’t do a lot of good to champion an abstinence-before-marriage platform when your own unwed teen’s knocked up. (But, you know, that’s what fucking happens when we refuse to give our teenagers useful information about and support for their sexuality, but whatever, I’ll back off that rant for now. I have a feeling there will be plenty of time for it later.)

This link has a ton of photos of Sarah Palin just a month or two before she “gave birth” — she doesn’t look preggers at all. They also offer tons of other evidence to support their point — including the fact that, after going into labor, Sarah traveled for hours (on an airplane!) to “give birth” in a remote hospital in her home town, even though the baby was a month premature. Additionally, at the same time as Governor Palin’s “pregnancy,” her 16-year-old daughter, Sarah, was out of school for over five months due to “mono.”

Perhaps most damning is this photo of Bristol taken in late 2007. The baby was born in April 2008. Stomach fat or growing baby?

What do you guys think????

Before she was John McCain’s out-of-the-blue VP pick, Sarah Palin (nee Heath) was a sportscaster in Alaska. This clip is a riot. You know you’ve really made it when you’re reporting on the Iditarod. God, did anyone else have to read that book in, like, third grade about the little boy who had this amazing dog and they ran the Iditarod and then the dog died like ten feet from the finish line and the big scary Indian picked up the dog and carried it across the finish line? Okay I don’t even remember the name of the book but my eyes are welling up with tears just thinking about it. And sorry to ruin the ending if you’re a third-grader reading this. Actually, if you’re a third-grader reading this, go get your mom and tell her I said she ought to pay closer attention to what you’re doing on the Internet. You know what? Don’t bother. She’s probably too busy drafting an angry letter to her Congressman about how Miley Cyrus isn’t doing an acceptable job of raising you.

What was I talking about?

Oh, right. Sarah Palin.

Now people are murmuring that her youngest child is not actually hers, but rather a kiddo her daughter popped out — out of wedlock, of course. Talk amongst yourselves.

Thanks Chelsea!