“I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it.”

Sarah Jessica Parker grossing me the fuck out in an Elle magazine interview in which she compares pee to brioche.

Sarah Jessica Parker was caught filming one of her first scenes for the Sex and the City movie sequel dressed like this. I have a strong feeling that Carrie is having a flashback to her days when she just arrived in New York, which any real fan will tell you supposedly happened when the character was eighteen. Why oh why they have middle-aged SJP playing a 25 years+ younger version of herself is beyond me. This image, though. It really kicks that horrible ill-fitted wedding dress with a bird in the hair combo’s ass in the ugly contest.

SJP and Matthew Broderick are the proud parents of twin girls born this morning via surrogate.  No word yet on names for the babes, but since they named their first child James, I think we can safely assume that these two won’t be called Armchair and Ottoman or anything of that genre.

I’m sure the celebs are thrilled and relieved to have their healthy babies, but I bet that surrogate is the most overjoyed to have these high-profile celebuspawns out of her uterus.  Between the threats and the break-ins, this lady sounds like she could use some normalcy in her life.

I’ll update here when the names are released later today.

UPDATE: According to People, “Born at 3:58 p.m., Marion Loretta Elwell weighed 5 lbs., 11 oz, and Tabitha Hodge Broderick weighed 6 lbs. ‘Both Hodge and Elwell are family names on Parker’s side.’”

My reaction could only be defined as “incredulous” when I read about the harassment and threats that the surrogate carrying Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s last ditch effort to save their marriage twins was experiencing.  I mean, this isn’t Brangelina — it’s SJP.  Is there really that much interest in where her fetuses are being stored?  Apparently so.

Two police officials that work in the town that the surrogate resides, are under investigation for masterminding a break-in at the woman’s home in hopes of finding something that could be sold to tabloid reporters.  It’s all still under investigation at this time, but the two Ohio police chiefs are claiming innocence.

You know, I am the first to enjoy a piece of gossip.  But when people’s basic human rights are being violated by a local law enforcement agency who has a vested interest in gathering tabloid fodder, perhaps it’s time to start creating laws to protect people.

Well, I suppose this is one way to put the break-up rumors to rest. Despite being hounded this year by talk that their relationship is crumbling, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick announced today that they’re expecting twin girls, by a surrogate.

The couple, who already have son James Wilkie, 6, announced Tuesday they’re “happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate. The entire family is overjoyed.”

Sarah is 44 and Matthew is 47, so my guess is that they used a surrogate to avoid fertility treatment and possible complications. Still: What is it with the twins? I know multiple births are a possibility when you’re implanting a bunch of fertilized eggs, but do the odds of multiple births increase somehow when the fertilized eggs belong to someone famous? Are the little spermies all like, “Oooh, hells yeah! If I get born to these people, it’s a life of Ed Hardy T-shirts and doing cocaine off a model’s stomach. I better hurry up and get inside that egg!”? Because that’s sure how it looks to me.

As a side note, if we’re spending all this time and effort implanting eggs in a surrogate’s uterus, could someone take 15 minutes out of their day to implant some hair follicles on Matthew Broderick’s head?

I don’t know why these two haven’t announced their impending divorce yet, but in the meantime, I can’t help but wonder:  Are Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick just trying to out-offend each other with their wardrobe choices?  I mean, SJP usually looks great so I can forgive her for wearing fuchsia Always (with wings!) maxi-pads on her feet but what’s up with her hub?  I think that now is as good a time as any other to remind you that Matthew Broderick is only forty-seven years old.  I own wine older than this twit.  Can anyone come up with a reasonable excuse for looking like this?

Here’s the happy couple last night walking to the off-Broadway theater production of Mary Stuart.

Also at the play?  Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes.

SJP sports some new bangs (and a fake baby bump??) on the set of her new film, Did You Hear About the Morgans?