Sandra Bullock is not commonly associated with porn stars, but America’s Sweetheart is taking on one in court over a child custody battle!

Sandy’s husband, Jesse James, was married to 40 year old porn star Janine Lindenmulder and had a baby with her. The baby is now a little girl, Janine just finished up a prison stint for tax evasion and is spending time in a half way house, and Jesse is married to Sandra Bullock. It’s important to note that Janine’s ability to mother her daughter is not just marred by her career choice, she’s also a downright irresponsible person. After serving her time in Oregon, Janine met and immediately married someone she met at her halfway house who has a pretty nasty criminal record.

On top of that, Janine already let go of Sunny once. In a furious text message to her ex sent from prison (they can text in prison?) Janine said “U win. Sandra finally has her baby — congratulations.” Yeah, because that’s the kind of competition everyone wants to win, right?

Where things stand now, Jesse has nearly full custody of his little girl, but if Janine has any say that will change. Currently, the only times she’s allowed to see her daughter are on Sundays from 10 AM-4 PM. That’s not a whole lot, but it certainly sounds like anyone would be a better parent for this little girl, especially a wealthy film star who has the time and money to take care of her.

Sooooo, you guys, I am VERY EXCITED to announce a super awesome contest Evil Beet is doing in honor of the DVD release of The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. We are giving away a trip for two to either Napa Valley or Las Vegas to the winner of our latest contest. The trip will include domestic airfare and two nights’ stay in the location of your choice. This is VERY VERY AWESOME and we’re SO PUMPED to get to give this prize to one of you.

What’s the contest? Here it is in legalese:

To enter: Send an email to proposalcontest@evilbeetgossip.com with your first and last name, age, email address and postal mail address (including Zip Code) and include in the email your own original true story in English, in 500 words or less, about the best, funniest most unusual marriage or romantic commitment proposal you’ve had. Each story must be entrant’s own original creation, executed solely by entrant and may not have won any other award. Stories may not have been published previously. Modifying, enhancing or altering a third party’s preexisting work does not qualify as entrant’s original creation.

So, basically, you send in your funniest or bestest original proposal story. I specifically requested the language about “romantic commitment” because I’m of the opinion that just because your state doesn’t think you can legally marry doesn’t mean you can’t win my contest. So this is open to “opposite marriage” as well as same-sex proposal stories. Unfortunately, it is not open to contestants outside of the US or under the age of 18. Because of the value of the prize, there are a bunch of uber-legal rules here. PLEASE READ THE RULES CAREFULLY because we have to follow them to a T. Like, for instance, if you don’t include your ZIP code in your submission, we can’t consider it. So please please read the rules. The contest will be judged by me as well as members of my harem over here at RealNetworks. So sending me amazing bribes won’t guarantee you a win. You will have to send all of us amazing bribes. (Contact me for a full list of mailing addresses of judges … kidding.)

The contest starts immediately, it ends on October 26, and the winner will be announced around November 9.

Let’s give a great big THANK YOU to Disney and The Proposal for being the inspiration behind this contest and this awesome opportunity for you guys. All together now: “Thank you Disney and The Proposal.”

Nope, she’s not preggers — but Sandra Bullock will now be a full-time mom to the daughter of her husband, Jesse James. That’s because the mom of the little girl — a 5-year-old named Sunny — is a porn star who is heading to federal prison. That’s hot!

On March 10, Sunny’s mother, former adult film star Janine Lindemulder, 40, will head for federal prison to serve a six-month sentence for income tax evasion. While Janine is behind bars, an Orange County, Calif., court awarded temporary full custody of Sunny to Jesse.

Does anyone else think it’s really funny that a porn star is going to jail for tax evasion? Like, of all the reasons you’d expect a washed-up porn star to go to jail … she didn’t pay her taxes! It’s the same shit they keep getting Joe Francis on, too. Pay your taxes, people!

For her part, Sandra is already close with Sunny, and they’re often spotted hitting up the playground together.

“I don’t see the difference in having blood-related kids or children who come with your husband,” said Sandra said last spring. “I am very blessed.”

Awww, I love this attitude. I was just talking with a friend last night about how I really don’t care how I come by kids — they don’t necessarily have to come out my vagina and have my chromosomes — I just want to be a mom!

I always forget about that. Probably because she doesn’t make her marriage a publicity stunt, which is also probably why she’s still married. She’s married to Jesse James, and the two were in a car accident in Massachussetts on Friday night when they were hit by a drunk driver. And I get to be funny about this because no one was injured.

“They were shaken up, needless to say,” said a police rep. “But they were fine – he was hugging her. Jess and Sandra were hugging. They said they were fine, they didn’t need medical attention. There were quite a few people snapping pictures of them.”

The driver was a 64-year-old woman who blew a .20 on the breathalyzer. That’s two-and-a-half times the legal limit. In a 64-year-old woman. Wow. Somebody get this old lady to rehab. I mean, when you’re pulled over shit-faced drunk at that age, it’s probably not because you accidentally had a few too many beers at the club with your friends. It’s because you were doing some hard-core, dedicated, unhealthy drinking. Do they have old-lady rehabs? Instead of giving out free coffee at their AA meetings, they could give out free crochet supplies and Ensure.

Call a cab, people! Even if you’re a senior citizen!!!

The long-awaited video (seriously, it took a whole day — that’s like a lifetime in the blogosphere) of Jessica Simpson running off-stage at the Kennedy Center Awards has at last arrived. [MollyGood]

Reverend Jesse Jackson is urging the public to boycott Seinfeld DVDs after star Michael Richards’ much-publicized racist rant reportedly prompted a spike in DVD sales for the show. My guess is the thought process surrounding most of these purchases went more along the lines of “Oh, hey, I forgot about Kramer. Man, Seinfeld sure was funny. Those DVDs would make a great Christmas gift,” and less along the lines of “You mean that Kramer guy’s a racist? Oh, now I’ll buy the DVDs.” A Jason Alexander crotch shot probably would have had a similar impact. But whatever. [CelebSlam]

Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Hudson are supposedly having some manner of non-feud regarding who upstaged whom in Dreamgirls. I’m not sure if I believe it less than I care, or vice versa. [TMZ]

Porn star Kendra Jade knows words like “disheartened,” “inevitable,” and “salacious.” That or her publicist does. Either way, she didn’t sleep with K-Fed. She has standards. [JordanIsYourHomeboy]

Sandra Bullock is either pregnant or she isn’t. [Celebrity Smack]

“Finally, to my boyfriend, who I happen to be married to…with the good loving you give me every day, and especially last night…it’s no coincidence that I’m freer and braver to leave the house, because I can’t fail, because I get to come home to you.”

Sandra Bullock at the 10th Annual Hollywood Awards

Wow Sandra. I’m jealous.