“No gym – well, not in the last five years. All the credit goes to Mom and Dad and their genes! … I get winded just reaching for my cigarettes!”

Samantha Ronson tells People magazine, after being asked about her super-thin figure in these bikini pics.

New pics of the happy couple on vacay in Mexico.

And, don’t worry, I expanded all the sections that you want to scrutinize. I’m thoughtful like that.

SamRo and Linds are enjoying some vacay time in Cabo together … and in bikinis.

Hotness!

Thanks Emily!

Forget everything you thought you knew!

Lindsay Lohan is NOT getting all gay with Samantha Ronson.

Do you know how I know this … for a fact?

Her publicist said so.

Lohan’s publicist is shooting down the media’s spin that what came forth late Sunday evening was her client coming out as a lesbian. “There was no confession,” Leslie Sloane-Zelnik tells TVGuide.com. So, Linds was merely copping to a close friendship with SamRo? “Yes,” says Zelnik.

You know she’s just holding out for someone to pay her to say it. Hopefully she’ll get more than Clay Aiken’s measly $500K.

Lindsay and Samantha enjoyed a romantic day out at Disneyland on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Star magazine is ranting about how Lindsay’s back on cocaine.

“Lindsay’s been drinking, doing cocaine and causing all-around mayhem for the past few months,” an insider tells Star. “She quit going to Alcoholics Anonymous and has absolutely never taken recovery seriously. She’s gotten progressively worse, and everyone in her life is really scared.”

Lindsay said on her MySpace blog last week:

also- my publicist emailed me today saying that star magazine is going to publish another ridiculous story about me- then again it’s not like their track record is up there with the new york times. if anything they printed was true i’d be married, pregnant with mark ronson’s child and hanging with my sister and her “fake” boobs all this while being dead due to an overdose…. wow! according to them i am one busy girl, even more so i am one busy dead girl!!!!

So there you have it, folks.

Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Lindsay Lohan isn’t the kind of girl who quietly has a cocaine problem. If this girl’s using again, you’re gonna hear about it and you’re gonna hear about it soon. Not from Star magazine, but from the cops.

In response to her father’s endless ramblings about how Samantha Ronson is the devil:

My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren’t speaking.

I am in a great place in life. I have overcome a lot and have been able to learn how to enjoy and appreciate my life in every way possible. I’m proud of myself for being able to make a change in the past year and a half.

My past is behind me, and that’s final. There’s nothing more to be said. All the false accusations that people try to make are simply because there’s no story when things are calm and good.

But they might as well let it go because their lies don’t affect me anymore. Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much and she’s a wonderful girl.

She loves me, as I do her.

I’ll say a few things here.

One: Good for you, Lindsay.

Two: You and Samantha are adorable, and I don’t think she’s evil, and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Three: I don’t believe your past is behind you. I think it’s just a matter of time. Again, I like Samantha, and I like the two of you together, but it’s obvious to anyone who’s watching that you’ve replaced your addiction to drugs and alcohol with an addiction to Samantha. You two are never apart. She visits you on all your sets. Always. You travel with her when she DJs. On the outside, this seems cute, but you guys are totally codependent. It’s an addiction as much as it is a relationship. When something about this cracks — and it will — you’ll be right back where you started. I’m just saying. Your father is an evil psychopath, but he’s correct in that you still haven’t really dealt with the underlying issues.

OMG she finally did it!!!!

In an interview on the Dr. Drew and Stryker show, Stryker asked Lindsay how long she’d been with Samantha.

Lindsay giggles and says “a very long time.”

YAY!!!!!

Click here to listen to the full interview. The part with Lindsay is in the last minute.

Oh happy happy joy joy!!!!

Thanks Sarah and Anna!

Total adorableness as the couple play lovey-dovey for the cameras.