A 22-year-old girl was arrested at Chicago’s Crimson Lounge on Thursday night after jumping into Samantha Ronson’s DJ booth and refusing to leave.

“She was only 100 pounds, but she managed to take two of my own security guys down,” Crimson’s general manager Matthew McCahill told E! News. “I just looked over and I saw that two of my guys were down. I know she kneed one of them, but I don’t know how she got the other one down.”

Ahhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha. I wish I could take credit for this, you guys, but I have plenty of witnesses who can place me in Seattle at the time the incident took place.

You know who else was there?

Yup: Lindsay Lohan, who appears to be following Samantha around the country. It’s so silly that they feel they can’t just come out and say they’re dating. Like, unless Lindsay is suddenly Samantha’s personal assistant, there’s no other decent explanation for her following SamRo to all her gigs everywhere in the country. Like, I have close girlfriends, but, when they travel for work, I don’t come along. Hmmm. I know: maybe Samantha Ronson is trying to get clean, and Lindsay Lohan is her full-time sobriety coach. Yes. That makes a lot more sense.

Linds and SamRo are currently on their way to Vegas, where Samantha’s DJ’ing tonight and tomorrow night at Planet Hollywood.

The Hawaiian Tropic Zone in NYC hired DJ Samantha Ronson for Saturday night.

Little did they know they’d also be getting the services of DJ Lindsay Lohan.

Look, I think it’s safe to say that these two are a couple at this point. I know, I know, two girls can be close friends without being all gay together. For instance, I don’t think Oprah’s having sex with Gayle. But I do think Lindsay’s having sex with Samantha. I think they’re together.

For all the rumors about how Lindsay’s still drinking, and Lindsay’s back on drugs, which may or may not be true, you have to admit that there haven’t been many stories lately about Lindsay doing crazy drunk shit. There’s the occasional vague item here and there, but it’s nothing like it was a year ago, or two years ago. I mean, when’s the last time she sent a drunken, rambling, “adequite” email to Page Six? Or cussed out Paris Hilton to a TMZ videographer? Or was hospitalized for “exhaustion”? Or broke her ankle on a particularly slippery floor? Or, you know, got a DUI?

Something’s changed, and, if SamRo has a role in it, good for her.

If Samantha Ronson thinks we won’t recognize her just because she dyed her hair ridiculously blonde, she’s sadly mistaken.

Here she is chillin’ with Lindsay outside the DCMA store in Hollywood. How very hipster.

And I love how they’re just sitting there surrounded by Red Bulls and cigarettes. My car still hasn’t been cleaned up from my road trip, and the passenger seat is pretty much covered in empty Red Bull cans and empty packs of Marlboro Lights. I went to pick up a friend last night, and he got in my car, looked around, and was like, “Um, I see what you’ve been doing for the past two days: drinking Red Bull and, uh, smoking cigarettes.” And I was like, “Yes, that pretty much sums it up.”

I really think Lindsay Lohan and I might be kindred spirits.

We finally got a shot of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan together!

Yay!

Oh, they are soooo doing it.

And by “it” I of course mean “cocaine.”

The photo agency says this pic was taken at a “medical center” in Beverly Hills. I sure do hope that by “medical center” they mean “AA meeting.”

Leggings Lohan hit up Dominics on Friday night, and left in a car driven by Samantha Ronson.

Lindsay and SamRo have been hanging out a lot lately, but Lindsay is always very careful not to be photographed with her. They leave separately, and then, when Samantha pulls the car around, Lindsay covers her face until they drive away. Smart girl. And smart of her not to drive herself. Dumb of her to be drinking, though.

Check out her nails. Craziness. And what the hell is in her hand? Looks like a plastic baggie of some sort. Hm.

So you know how Paris is parading around town with that ring that says “BM,” the initials of her new love, Benji Madden?

Now Lindsay is sporting an “SR” ring, I assume for Samantha Ronson.

I don’t know if this is a publicity stunt or what, but I freakin’ love it. Brilliant, Linds, brilliant!

I swear, I had like five people come up to me last night and ask if I knew where they could score some shit.

I guess I look like the kind of person who knows.

This worries me.

Anyway, folks, I have the answer now: Find Samantha Ronson. She’s in Park City. With Mary-Kate Olsen.

At Harry O’s on Main Street last night.