Okay, that’s a dumb title, and that’s not even how you spell “accelerate,” but it’s nearly 4 am and I can’t sleep. I’ve made this new and exciting decision to stop taking my anti-anxiety meds, because they make me sleep like 14 hours a day, and the end result is that, while my body adjusts, I don’t sleep at all. Plus: I’m anxious! It’s totally awesome. I sit on my bed, surrounded by all my slumbering animals, and I stare at them with jealousy. And then I decide which one I’m going to wake up to play with me. The Chosen One is never too happy about it (it’s usually Leo). But I just got fed up with spending more time asleep than my damn cats, so we’ll see how this little experiment goes.

Anyway, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson went all Everyman this weekend, taking the Acela from Penn Station to a gig Samantha had in Boston.

“They looked like they were having fun in Penn Station,” said our spy. “They went almost totally unno ticed and got on first class.” Thursday night, the duo ate a quiet dinner together and then hit Shrine at the MGM Grand at Foxwoods. “Lindsay, who was wearing the same shirt that Sam wore the day before, sat in a chair in the deejay booth right next to her and watched her spin. They were very affectionate to one another.”

Ah, this brings back memories. When I lived in New York, I’d only really lived in Arizona and California previously, where all major cities are approximately 1000 miles apart. I was so excited that on the East Coast you can just hop on a train and be in a new city in a couple of hours, so I did that almost every weekend. I spent a lot of time in Penn Station and on Acelas. They’re awesome.

Oh, and Samantha also did something really cute this weekend. She responded to a Page Six report that she refused to play Ali Lohan’s new single because she hated it. She wrote this on her MySpace:

i wouldn’t be responding to this one- but i’m afraid that people might actually believe that and that’s not fair to Ali. She’s 14 years old- high school is bad enough- do tabloids really need to torture teenagers as well?

well then- with that out of the way- I hope you are all well and check out the single on itunes- it’s a great f***ing pop song!

Aw, I just love the Lindsay/Samantha pairing. I can’t wait for the wedding, the reality TV show, and the messy divorce.

The kids at Gawker have a source that spotted Lindsay and SamRo having a little spat at the Waverly Inn last night. Says the source:

We really did not pay much attention to them once we were seated, except at the end of their meal when Lindsay stood up and stepped/stumbled on [my friend's] foot. Without looking back or apologizing she headed straight out the door. We guess her exit was spontaneous as Samantha was behind her sputtering: ‘Are you leaving?’ ‘Lindsay are you leaving?’ ‘I guess she’s leaving.’ ‘She just left!’

Lindsay Lohan? Storming out of a restaurant in a huff?

We haven’t seen this behavior out of her in months!

Hopefully it’s just a passing thing.

After she wrapped a hard day of filming on the set of Ugly Betty in NYC, Lindsay met up with her ever-present girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, and hit up the Waverly Inn for an evening of, well, staying sober, I guess.

Samantha also visited her on the set today while she was filming.

Dude, gay or straight, don’t you think these two would be sick of each other by now? They are constantly together.

Our Lindsay just wrapped filming on Labor Pains without a single report of her being late for her call time, disrupting filming, showing up high or drunk, hospitalization for “exhaustion” or any of the other things we’ve come to associate with Lindsay Lohan being on a film set.

To celebrate, Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha Ronson hit up a bunch of parties in the Hamptons, where, once again, we have NO REPORTS of Lindsay making frequent bathroom trips, throwing drinks at people, insisting other young women be kicked out of parties, driving drunk, or screaming at the waitstaff. Unbelievable.

Lindsay’s back on the East Coast to start filming another guest spot on Ugly Betty, where she’ll be reprising her role as Betty’s high-school nemesis.

Keep it up, Lindsay!!!

In case there was any lingering doubt in your mind that SamRo and LiLo are hot and heavy, Daisy Lowe — who is the girlfriend of Sam’s brother, Mark Ronson — cleared things up in a recent interview.

“Lindsay is really down to earth. Her and Sam make a lovely couple – they seem really happy,” she says. “Their relationship is totally genuine. And they’re just so sweet together. Mark totally approves. But we’re not going to double-date again – I mean, would you go on a date with your brother?”

While I totally respect Lindsay’s right to keep her private life private, I hope that one day she does feel comfortable coming forward and stating that she’s in a relationship with Samantha. As she’s been staying out of trouble lately, it would be a great opportunity for her to be a positive role model for all the girls who love girls out there.

Apparently La Lohan was quite upset on the set of Labor Pains today, because a little after she arrived, some asshole disguised as a paparazzo tried to serve her with papers regarding Samantha Ronson’s ongoing back-and-forth lawsuits with the lawyer she used to sue Perez Hilton (long story, and most of the key parties involved aren’t quite sure they understand it, either).

“She refused to take the papers, and they fell to the ground,” said an eyewitness. “She pulled her arm away, and her bodyguard grabbed the subpoena server’s arm.”

After refusing to take the papers, which were left on the ground, Lindsay simply walked back to her trailer, telling actual paparazzi nearby that “it’s not my lawsuit.”

Um … WTF? Why was this guy dressed up as a paparazzo? To trick Lindsay into taking the papers? Wow, just imagine the brainstorming session that went into that one. I mean, honestly, a bunch of lawyers sat around a conference room and said to each other, “I think the best way to trick Lindsay Lohan into taking these papers is to have a guy dress up like a photographer.” ACTUAL BILLABLE HOURS, people!

Anyway, Lindsay apparently moped around the set for awhile, until girlfriend Samantha Ronson showed up to put a smile on her face.

Samantha Ronson is the new cocaine!

And now, for no reason in particular other than that I just thought of it, I’m including a clip of Tori Amos’s “She’s Your Cocaine,” which rocks.

[Image via Splash]

Aw, you guys never fail to disappoint me.

Thanks to Martha for sending in this pic and pointing me in the right direction of this video.

This is the most genuine smile I’ve seen out of Lindsay Lohan, well, ever.

Whatever Samantha Ronson’s doing for her, it’s working.