Since her ex Ryan Reynolds has begun blogging for the Huffington Post (and I won’t get into this in much detail, but his stuff is so overwritten and irrelevant and annoying — we get it, Ryan. You know big words and you’re a famous actor. Big props to you, buddy.), Perez has offered Alanis an opportunity to blog for him!

We’d like to offer Alanis Morissette her own little online outlet to talk about whatever she wants.

Write an essay for us!

Alanis writing for Perez!!!!! I love it. Come on, Alanis. After So-Called Chaos, you owe us.

Also, this is the slowest news day ever.

Scarlett Jo (full last name withheld due to possible spelling errors) is maybe possibly dating someone new.

People Magazine is all over it!

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds spent a busy weekend in New York City together. On Saturday night, the pair were seen getting close at the Manhattan restaurant Odeon. “They were in a good mood,” says one eyewitness who saw them laughing and smiling. “They were definitely holding hands,” says another observer. “They were a cute couple!”

Hey there observer, you watch yourself. I’ll be the judge as to whether they are a cute couple. Okay, I’ve decided. They’re not.

More after the jump. (more…)

Jessica Biel sure is a slut pretty. She’s just everyone’s favorite rebound girl. After breaking up with Derek Jeter earlier this year, Jessica promptly jumped into bed with Justin Timberlake, who had split from Cameron Diaz mere weeks before. Her latest target is hottie Ryan Reynolds, who ended his on-again-off-again engagement to Alanis Morissette (who?) in early February.

The two hard-bodies were spotted at a dinner date at Santa Monica’s Balabu this week. They would certainly have very hot babies, but, honestly, can’t Jessica give her fellow actresses a tiny bit of breathing room before hopping on their men?

Hilary Duff’s new single is pretty addicting. Kind of like Vicodin. When you’re Nicole Richie. [popbytes]

Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds must have received the letters I’ve been writing them, begging that the natural order of the universe be restored, and that Ryan Reynolds genes of total hotness not be mixed with Alanis’s weird pear-shaped ones. They’ve split up. [Hollywood Grind]

I hate covering stories that involve Katie Holmes talking. [Defamer]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan. [The Blemish, The Superficial]

Fuckin’ Lindsay Lohan’s mom. [Hollyscoop]

Yes, we have pictures of Denise Richards’ labia. This is very good news for Heather Locklear in the maintenance and improvement of the voo-doo doll. [The Superficial]