Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal were together for almost thirty years.  There were a few years in the middle there where they split and dated other people, though I suspect Ryan kinda always dated other people.  They came back together near the end of Farrah’s life and O’Neal certainly positioned himself as her primary caretaker.  In the last few days before the actress died, Ryan even said that they were to marry, even if he had to move Farrah’s lips for her.  Romantic or hoping to stake a claim to her money?  It doesn’t matter.  She died, he tried to score with his daughter at FF’s funeral and now he’s been frozen out of her will.

Here’s the news though:  Last spring, a guy named Greg Lott was giving interviews in which he claimed to be Farrah’s secret boyfriend.  They dated in college, then he did two stints in the clink for drug trafficking.  According to Lott, they reunited eleven years ago and remained together until the final months leading up to Farrah’s death when Ryan took over and cut off contact between the two.

Hey, Lott may be a scumbag considering the fact that he shared all the details of his relationship as well as copies of personal letters with Daily Mail, but one thing remains.  Farrah didn’t leave Ryan a penny, but did leave this (according to O’Neal’s definition) “disgruntled ex-boyfriend” $100K.  I just love this message that Farrah was able to leave behind.  Ryan:  zero.  Secret lover:  a hundred thousand bucks.

This is one of those stories that I’m hoping is just random talk and not actual fact.  

Ryan O’Neal — and I can’t stand looking at him, so we’re going to learn about Bumpits instead — has brokered a deal for a reality show that will star O’Neal and his son Redmond.  First of all, I think the last thing a newly recovered and newly released from jail addict needs is a huge salary.  Secondly, does America care about these two?  Will the show feature the two of these money-grubbing whores sitting around doing meth together while Ryan cries tears of regret of how savagely he treated Farrah’s anus?

I wish Redmond all the luck in the world getting and staying clean.  I just don’t know if spending copious amounts of time with his father is the way to accomplish that goal.

I’ve always suspected that Ryan O’Neal is a sleazeball.  When he announced that he was going to marry Farrah (while she was on her deathbed) even if he had to move her lips for her during the vow exchange, it just confirmed my suspicions.  Not that I needed any further convincing, Vanity Fair’s Leslie Bennetts sat down with Ryan O’Neal and you won’t believe the things he shared.  

O’Neal tells Bennetts that he didn’t recognize his daughter, Tatum, at Fawcett’s funeral. “I had just put the casket in the hearse and was watching it drive away,” he says, “when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, ‘You have a drink on you? You have a car?’ She said, ‘Daddy, it’s me–Tatum!’ I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it’s my daughter. It’s so sick.”

When Bennetts asks Tatum about the exchange, she replies, “That’s our relationship in a nutshell…. You make of it what you will.” She sighed. “It had been a few years since we’d seen each other, and he was always a ladies’ man, a bon vivant.”

Oh, Ryan!  Do try and keep in in your pants around your daughter!  He went on to talk about his regrets of having children.

O’Neal is brutal on the subject of his parenting and his children, telling Bennetts, “I’m a hopeless father. I don’t know why. I don’t think I was supposed to be a father. Just look around at my work–they’re either in jail or they should be.” He doesn’t talk to any of his kids except for Redmond, whom he visits in jail. “I was in touch with them for years, and I was a mess,” he says of the others. “I’m not in touch with them now, and I’ve never been happier.” When asked if he’s sorry he had children, he nods, Bennetts reports. “A couple of them I would take back,” he says.

It seems that the feeling is mutual.  You may remember that Ryan’s son Griffin was turned away and refused admission into Farrah’s funeral.  This snub was obviously the final straw in a relationship that has always been tumultuous.

Griffin O’Neal is suspicious of his father’s newfound devotion to Fawcett, telling Bennetts, “All those crocodile tears!… My dad’s only goal was to make sure he would be in the will. It was so disgustingly transparent as soon as he found out she was terminal. I consider him a vulture presiding over a carcass. Ryan thought he was going to get everything.” When asked about Griffin’s charge that Ryan was trying to get Fawcett’s money, the elder O’Neal says, “I hate him! He knows I have money. I made a tremendous amount of money on real estate, more than I deserve.”

O’Neal claims Griffin has sold salacious information about the family to the tabloids, a charge that Griffin denies–”Absolutely not! Not one thing!,” Griffin tells Bennetts. “My father is afraid of me because I know the truth,” Griffin says. “That’s the part that absolutely scares him to death.” Griffin suggests that the family’s problems might have something to do with the fact that Ryan plied his children with drugs–”My father gave me cocaine when I was 11 and insisted I take it,” he tells Bennetts–and was prone to uncontrollable rages. “He was violent all the way through my upbringing,” says Griffin. “He was a very abusive, narcissistic psychopath. He gets so mad he can’t control anything he’s doing.”

Ryan also is embroiled in battle with the woman he tried to hook up with — his daughter Tatum.

O’Neal fumes when asked about Tatum’s autobiography, saying “She wrote a book–bitch! How dare she throw our laundry in the street for money!… She didn’t call after Farrah’s show. She’ll have to explain that.”

Tatum tells Bennetts that her father “has every right to be angry about the book; no parent wants to hear their kid saying shitty things about them… But what I wrote in the book was true. I’ve got a battle with drugs, but I’m a strong, independent person, and I fight for myself, and my father and I butt heads. When I was 16 years old, he and Farrah moved in together, and after that I saw my dad periodically, and that took a long time for me to get over. Would I do that to my kids? No, but I don’t think Farrah was responsible for that. I truly thought Farrah was inspirational and beautiful and kind. Anyway, it’s past; I’ve moved on. I’m older now, and I forgive him.”

The whole, unedited disaster is in September’s Vanity Fair.  

What is the lesson here?  Appreciate the family you have, don’t do coke with your kids, go hug your folks and thank God that your last name isn’t O’Neal.

While Farrah’s son, Redmond O’Neal, was allowed out of jail to attend his mother’s funeral, Ryan O’Neal’s other son Griffin (who is not Farrah’s child) was denied entry per Ryan’s request. If you remember, back in February ‘07, Ryan was arrested for allegedly assaulting Griffin.

Griffin reportedly drove 300 miles to attend the funeral and pay his last respects to Farrah. “She’s mad right now that I’m not in there,” he said. “I just wanted to say goodbye to someone I knew and loved for 33 years.”

I know Ryan’s in a lot of pain right now, and I assume Griffin is probably a gigantic asshole, but is it right to deny someone access to a funeral like this?

Griffin stood outside the funeral (pictured above) with his wife Rima and daughter Dillan.

If you’ve been proposing to your girlfriend for almost 30 years, and she’s only now agreed to it because she’s hooked up to a morphine drip, that could be considered somewhat ego-bruising.  Not to Ryan O’Neal, though.

Yeah — Ryan and Farrah Fawcett are getting married.  I thought these two married and divorced years ago, but apparently not.  O’Neal  was interviewed by Barbara Walters in a 20/20 episode that will air this Friday, and spoke of his proposal to Farrah:  “I’ve asked her to marry me, again, and she’s agreed.  I used to ask her to marry me all the time.  But … it just got to be a joke, you know. We just joked about it.”

It’s actually really sad.  Now that Farrah is battling terminal cancer, they probably have a whole new perspective on life.  Back in May, Ryan appeared on NBC News and told Meredith Viera, “I know this, that in the last two years I loved her more than I’ve ever loved her – ever.  She’s so much more of a woman … powerful, courageous, fearless and all those adjectives. And I look at her with awe.”

No date has been set at this time.  Ryan said they will marry when Farrah is physically able to either say the word “yes,” or nod her head.

Ryan O’Neal and his 24-year-old son, Redmond (who is, tragically, a red-head), were both busted for meth possession early this morning.

Authorities said they were doing a probation search at the family’s Malibu home when they found Redmond O’Neal in possession of methamphetamine and a vial of the drug was allegedly found in Ryan’s bedroom.

I bet Redmond was the type of dude who would brag to his friends, like, “Yeah, I know it seems pathetic that I still live at home, but you know what, assholes? Dad buys all my meth. Yeah. That’s right. You’re jealous now, aren’t you, punkass?”

They’re both being held on $10K bail.

Teri Hatcher had a lunch date with George Bush, Sr. I’m not sure which of them I feel more sorry for. [Faded Youth]

Lance and Reichen had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for some dude from Real World: Denver. [ICYDK]

Mischa and Cisco had a love that could have lasted a lifetime … if it weren’t for that picture of his gigantic testicles that made the Internet rounds. [Cele|bitchy]

Breaking: Angelina Jolie is thin. [The Bosh]

Yeah, okay, so Tori Spelling’s like 20 months pregnant, but is that really any excuse to look like Kirstie Alley? [The Blog You Love to Hate]

Blah blah blah … Ryan O’Neal … blah blah son drunk … blah blah blah pregnant girlfriend battered … blah blah blah … Gloria Allred? Jesus. [TMZ]

Will Nicky Hilton face actual consequences for her participation in her sister’s bigoted video projects? Maybe. You know who won’t face actual consequences? Paris. Ever. [MollyGood]