Ivana Trump announced today that she did, in fact, file separation papers from her fourth husband, Rossano Rubicondi, about three months ago.

“Rossano wants to live in Miami and work in Milan,” she said. “But, I am a New Yorker and my family, friends and businesses are here. As the beautiful song says, ‘Que sera sera!’”

When asked why she was just now announcing the separation, Ivana said — and this is not a joke — that she didn’t want to ruin Rubicondi’s chances as a contestant on the Italian edition of the reality TV show Survivor.

These people’s lives are so surreal.