Rosie O’Donnell and her ex-wife Kelli didn’t split up that long ago, but thankfully Rosie’s having no problem starting up something new. Rosie went on Oprah this week to talk all about her new relationship with girlfriend Tracy Kachtick-Anders, and it looks like Tracy’s the new Kelli because the two are planning to move in together… and blend families. That’d be a grand total of eleven kids. Rosie says of meeting Tracy for the first time, “So she got out of the car in Miami and I was, like, zoinks, you know, because she’s absolutely gorgeous and, I don’t know, I felt like I knew her right away. It was very odd.”

People was able to get the scoop from Oprah before it airs on Monday and it looks like Rosie is going to open up about her relationship with Kelli quite a bit. “Although we co-parent, we share equal time but we’re never really without them. Some are here. And that’s the way we did it. It’s free-flowing, and we do nights together, too,” Rosie says of her post-divorce parenting with Kelli. For those of you who don’t know, most of Rosie’s kids are adopted (Vivian was carried by Kelli) and her entire parenting career, including how she’s handled her divorce, has been a huge “F you” to those who say that gay couples shouldn’t be able to adopt.

“Yummy. I love it all … It’s almost too good to be true!”

– Rosie O’Donnell describing her new relationship on her XM Radio show “Rosie Radio” today.

Does anyone else get really grossed out when people describe other people as “yummy”? Are you going to eat them? What do you mean, “yummy”? I love Rosie and I’m so glad she’s dating again after what was likely a very difficult break-up, but “yummy” has to go.

Image via Radar

Remember on Saved by the Bell when Zach and Kelly would kiss, everyone in the “audience” would be like “WoooooOoOoOOoOOooooo!” They did it on Family Matters, too. It was a very 90s sitcom thing to do. Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing every time I’ve looked at this photo of Rosie O’Donnell and her new lady friend holding hands in Miami. It’s a blast and completely hilarious, trust me.

Rosie has been split up with her wife of five years, Kelli Carpenter, split back in October. Is this a rebound for Rosie, who has four adopted children with Kelli, or maybe something more serious? I’m assuming since we don’t even have an ID on this woman yet that it’s probably not official, but it’s nice to see that Rosie is back in the game.

Less than a month ago, Wendie was speculating about the status of Rosie O’Donnell’s marriage to wife Kelli Carpenter. The pair never seem to have good body language in any of their photos, and rumors swirled that the marriage was over. For her part, Rosie was very vague about what was going on, and would only say that they were “working on their problems”.

But then yesterday, on her Sirius Satellite radio program, Rosie dropped a bombshell when she revealed that her wife Kelli moved out over two years ago.

The revelation came while she was talking to a pet psychic about her chihuahua.

“Where did you get her from Rosie? Because she says she came from somewhere. And she said she’s happier with you,” pet psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick said of O’Donnell’s dog Misty. “She’s so spoiled and she loves to burrow.”

O’Donnell confirmed: “She does! She burrows in the bed right next to me.”

And, when asked who “sometimes looks after her,” O’Donnell explained her four children all fight over caring for the pup, which she got three days after Carpenter left. “What happened [was] when Kelli moved out two years ago, I got the dog. Because I wanted another child or something to love. And I got the dog.”

They may be “working on their issues”, but living separately for more than two years is not exactly a good sign.

And really, who can blame Kelli Carpenter? It’s ROSIE O’DONNELL. Could you imagine waking up to that every morning? Dear lord. That woman is so grating I could shred cheddar on her for a taco salad then ruin my sponge trying to wash her.

I may be a bit ahead of myself.  According to Rosie O’Donnell, things aren’t “over” exactly, but wife Kelli Carpenter O’Donnell and Rosie are having some problems that they’re trying to work out.

Confession time:  I read Rosie’s blog just about every day.  She answers fan questions and for months now, there hasn’t been a whole lot of mention of Kelli.  And in the instances where someone has outright asked her about the status of her marriage, she has been veeeeeerrrrrryyyyyy vague.  Back in the spring, columnist Cindy Adams insisted that the couple had split — a rumor denied by O’Donnell.

Though Ro wouldn’t confirm or deny an actual change of address of either party, she insisted that they would always be a family, raising kids together.

“We’re a family, we remain a family and we’re working on the issues,” O’Donnell reiterated, noting that there are four children whose well-being comes before anything.  The couple married in San Francisco in 2004 and have three adopted children — Parker, 14, Chelsea, 12 and Blake, 9, as well as Vivienne (“Vivi”), 6, whom Carpenter carried.

“They’re adorable and wonderful and they are by far a priority,” O’Donnell said. “Kelli and I love each other very much and we are working on our issues. Those are the only words I am ever going to say. Ever. And that is something that has been agreed upon by all parties,” she said, tears collecting in her eyes. “But everything’s fine and everybody’s good and we’re still both raising them together. We will both continue to parent them and we’re friendly and everything’s all right.”

Oh, I am just so bummed out by this news.  You know what bummed me out even more?  When I went to the wire in search of a picture of these two, there was such a common and noticeable element in the entire history of photos of this couple.  I just think Rosie is so loving and has such a big heart and it kind of hurt my heart to see such a consistently non-reciprocal, arms by side, stance from her wife.

Good luck to Rosie and Kelli.  I hope they can work it out if that’s the goal.

Rosie O’Donnell is returning to work.  A couple of years after her departure from The View, Rosie will have her own show on Sirius satellite radio this fall.

The show which will air from 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Monday through Friday is, by O’Donnell’s definition, “…an exciting new adventure—two hours of talk show entertainment, without having to wear makeup. Perfection”  And perfection for us too — I love me some Rosie, but I suspect if we all had to look at that tan for ten hours a week, ratings would plummet.

She will take calls from listeners and celebs, talk about all things pop culture and entertainment for 120 minutes, and be paid obscene amounts of money for doing so.  In other words, the dream job.

I love me some Rosie O’Donnell.  I was one of the seventy-three people that watched her variety show the night before Thanksgiving when I could have been making pumpkin pies instead, and didn’t totally hate it.  Well, I hated it but was willing to forgive and move on.  Until today.

Has Rosie finally made the transition from daytime talk-show host to full-time Oompah Loompah?  Was she confronted in a dark alley by a spray gun wielding Lindsay Lohan?  Is she trying to make a statement of support for our first African American president?  So.  Many.  Questions.  Last night she attended the 2009 Dramatists Guild Fund Annual Benefit Gala, also known as the 2009 Another Useless Excuse For Rich People To Gather Gala, and really lit up the room.  Well, her chiclets did, at least.

I realize white will always look starker against Coppertone SPF 0 skin dark colors.  But here’s the real question:  What is whiter?  Angela Lansbury or Rosie’s very own teeth?