Ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich isn’t able to participate in the ratings disaster-in-waiting I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here as it would require him to head to Costa Rica for filming.  International travel isn’t an option as Rod awaits his trial for that whole Senate seat for sale snafu.

In another “NBC Executives Are Idiots” move, the desperate replacement for Blagojevich’s slot is none other than his wife Patti.  She wants to appear on the show so that people will know the real her.  Um…is there anyone out there that has any perception of Patti Blagojevich?

I move that this show immediately be renamed I’ve Heard of Celebrities…Get Me Out of Here.

So there’s this dumb article about Dennis Hof, the guy who owns that brothel in Nevada, offering Rod Blagojevich a job on the upcoming season of the show about his brothel. Obviously a stupid publicity stunt, but OMG THERE’S AN UPCOMING SEASON OF CATHOUSE!!!! And I never would have known without this publicity stunt!!!

Here’s the article (well, it’s not even an article, it’s on PRNewsWire, so it’s just strictly a press release, really):

After hearing about the federal judge ruling against Rod Blagojevich’s participation in a celebrity reality TV show, Dennis Hof, owner of the world famous Moonlite BunnyRanch would like to offer him an apprenticeship. U.S. District Judge James Zagel ruled that the former governor could not leave the country to film “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here,” which is to take place in Costa Rica in June. Dennis Hof is not supportive of the judge’s decision and believes that Rod should have the opportunity to fulfill his reality TV desires with the BunnyRanch.

“I am offering Rod an apprenticeship position, in which he would assist with hiring ladies in addition to facilitating with training and proper disciplinary action,” stated Dennis. This apprenticeship could be featured throughout the upcoming season of HBO’s CatHouse. Rod’s willpower would be challenged daily by the ladies as they bribe him to acquire finer rooms or better working hours and days off. In lieu of Rod’s work throughout the apprenticeship Dennis Hof will pay him a handsome amount of money.

Have I ever told you guys how much I LOVE Cathouse???? I think I wrote about it once years ago, but there haven’t been new episodes in a loooong time, so I haven’t had a reason to obsess on it publicly. But OMG I LOVE THAT SHOW. Here’s what they do: Follow high-class hookers ALL DAY LONG. And because it’s on HBO, they show EVERYTHING, like all the sex sessions, all the behind-the-scenes fights and hook-ups and bribery, and you get to see all the crazy weird things that clients request from them. It’s total crack. I am beyond excited for a new season. BEYOND. Hooray!

Hells yeah! You guys remember how pissed I was that NBC had asked ousted Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich to appear on their summer craptacular, I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! So I’m absolutely delighted to hear that a judge has denied his request to leave the country to film the show in Costa Rica. (Rod is currently out on bail awaiting his trial for selling Barack Obama’s Senate seat to the highest bidder.)

NBC said in a statement that they have no plans to move filming to the US to allow this asswipe to participate.

Meanwhile, American Idol also-ran Sanjaya Malakar has joined the cast, along with Janice Dickinson, Geraldo Rivera and Duane “Dog the Racist Bounty Hunter” Chapman (another choice I disagree with).

This is RIDICULOUS. Someone at NBC should be fired for this shit. After Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich basically shit all over the Constitution by offering to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat to the highest bidder, NBC wants to make him a TV star. They want him to be on their ellipses-tastic summer juggernaut I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!

“Rod Blagojevich will be a participant on the show pending the court’s approval,” NBC said.

In the series, 10 celebrities of various backgrounds compete in challenges to raise money for their favorite charities.

The network has been looking for household names for its version of the U.K. hit, which launches June 1. NBC is taking the unusual step of airing the show four nights a week at 8 p.m. for nearly a month, and a successful launch could fuel the network’s entire summer schedule.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Blagojevich’s attorney told a federal judge Tuesday that he will file a request to loosen his client’s travel restrictions to participate in the show, which will be shot in Costa Rica.

In fairness to Rod, he was indicted on April 1, he hasn’t yet been sentenced, and he’s plead not guilty. But still. WE ALL KNOW HE DID IT. It’s not like I’d be watching this shitshow anyway, but I think NBC should be ashamed of themselves for including him. I mean, it’s one thing to reward a pop star for running around LA with her labia hanging out, but this dude was a high-ranking elected government official who completely betrayed the trust of an entire nation. There should be no more opportunities for him, on TV or elsewhere.

Wow, is every aspect of the news more scandalous than celebrity gossip lately? It sure does feel like it.

Okay, so remember how the governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich (pronounced Bla-GOY-uh-vich), was “allegedly” accepting bribes for who would get the Senate seat vacated by Obama? And that’s super duper illegal and stuff? Well, he hasn’t actually been convicted of this stuff yet, and he refuses to resign from him post despite his whole party begging him to, and he went right ahead and appointed someone, this dude Roland Burris, who’s planning to report for duty on Tuesday to be inaugurated. Senate Democrats are like “Oh hell no,” and they’re planning to exercise their right to refuse him entry to the Senate.

The first Democratic aide said if Burris tries to enter the Senate chamber on Tuesday, the Senate doorkeeper will stop him. If Burris were to persist, either trying to force his way onto the Senate floor or refusing to leave and causing a scene, U.S. Capitol police would stop him, the aide said.

“They [police] probably won’t arrest him,” but they would call the Senate’s sergeant-at-arms, the aide said.

Burris has indicated he intends to be at the Senate on Tuesday. When asked about what would happen if he shows up, Burris told the Chicago Tribune that he is “not going to create a scene in Washington.”

SO MUCH DRAMA!!!

We may as well elect Lindsay Lohan and Denise Richards and Courtney Love — it couldn’t be much more of a shit-show over there in DC!

If you haven’t heard about this yet, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, a Democrat, was arrested on Tuesday morning by the FBI and released shortly after on $4500 bail.

Here’s the deal: Since Barack Obama was an Illinois senator, and will no longer be able to finish out his term because of his election to the Presidency, the law says that the Illinois governor gets to name his replacement in the Senate. Incidentally, there are lots of other laws that say he’s not allowed to accept money or bribes for this appointment. Governor Blagojevich was in the process of violating, like, all those laws, and a bunch of other ones, too. Essentially, he was wheeling and dealing, attempting to sell this Senate seat to the highest bidder. This is, like, super-duper illegal and totally repulsive.

Who was the Evil Governor looking to appoint? Some reports indicate that one possibility was Jesse Jackson.

The FBI has a shitload of evidence on this dude — because someone tipped them off to these goings-on and they wire-tapped his office for weeks. So they basically have hours and hours of phone conversations of this dude cussing his evil little face off and saying and doing evil shit. In fact, in one instance, he threatened to withdraw $8M in funding from a children’s hospital because its CEO didn’t contribute enough to his campaign. Total evil dude.

Despite this overwhelming evidence of total evil-ness, he has yet to resign from his post. And, according to the law, he is still in a position to appoint Obama’s successor in the Senate.

Ewwww!!!