Holy crap!

Everyone expected that he’d cop a deal by now, but no! Chris Brown has plead not guilty to two felonies — assault and making criminal threats.

However, sources say that Brown’s attorney and the prosecutor are currently in heated plea negotiations. So likely there will be a plea before any of this goes to trial.

As for Rihanna? Her lawyer spoke to reporters after the hearing to say that Rihanna wants this resolved as quickly as possible — meaning, basically, that she’d like Chris to plead out as well.

And as for Wendie? She owes you guys 200 words on why Mischa Barton is amazing.

Chris Brown’s arraignment has been bumped from this morning until this afternoon.  I’m really happy about this development as I won’t be around when we all learn that Brown’s attorneys have cut a deal with the prosecutor that basically equates to a misdemeanor with no jail time for beating the hell out of his girlfriend, Rihanna.  Be assured, no matter what, I will continue to get as much mileage as possible out of this picture.

Want to know how confident I’m feeling about this plea deal?  This is what I’m willing to do:  If this case ends up being sent to trial, I will write one, positive and complimentary, two hundred words or more, piece on Mischa Barton, tomorrow.

Stay tuned.  And Christ, I hope this goes the way I suspect.

How is this still a story?

I thought we’d established long that this chick wasn’t helping out in the investigation against the dude who beat her up. But now we’re hearing it again, because her humanity/weakness in the face of this horror never stops being compelling:

Sources say Rihanna “wants the whole thing” to go away and isn’t helping the district attorney prepare his case against Brown for allegedly beating her to a pulp in the early hours of February 8th, the day the of the Grammy Awards.

Apparently Rihanna is angry, they say, that pictures of her bruises were leaked to the press. She’s not happy, too, that she was quickly identified as Brown’s victim.

Listen, Rihanna, I’m sorry that the press identified you, I really am, but it wasn’t much of a mystery. I’m sorry that your photo leaked. You’re not any domestic violence victim. You’re a celebrity, and that’s an identity you accept in good times and in bad. You signed your name on the record deal. You knew what you were getting into, and you’re in it now.

Take a stand and turn this around, Rihanna. Don’t make it go away. Make it matter.

Here’s a picture of Rihanna’s newest tat, done by the aptly named tattoo artist BangBang.  She originally wanted a gun tattoo on each arm but felt that they would compromise her contract with Cover Girl.

What have we learned today?  Offensive ink placement?  Bad.  Staying with abuser?  All good.

There’s a movement in LA to pass legislation that would make it easier to punish those who leak photos and information about police cases and media outlets that use that photos, whether or not any money exchanged hands. This movement started when the photo of a beaten Rihanna hit the Internet, and media outlets decided to publish the identity of the victim, even though the victim’s identity is typically not published in domestic violence cases.

An organization called STOParazzi is spearheading the cause, and their website explains it further:

Our aim is to enact RIHANNA’S LAW which would make leaking, distributing and publishing private law enforcement crime photos, (such as the one leaked of Rihanna,) illegal whether there was money exchanged or not. The current law, “Mel’s Law” requires that money changes hands in order for the person distributing the photo to be in violation of the law, furthermore the current law has no provisions for the prosecution of those who publish such photos or videos, such as Harvey Levin and TMZ. As it stands, anyone can leak private victim photos and get away with it, as long as no one can prove they received money, which usually is unprovable because tabloids pay cash to third parties. In addition, entities such as TMZ who pay for these photos and publish them are able to do it, and profit from it, with no legal repercussions whatsoever. The publication of Rihanna’s police victim photo was inexcusable and will likely help the alleged attacker’s case. The person who distributed it is in the clear unless the LAPD can find evidence the leaker received money for the photo. Regardless of all that, Harvey Levin and TMZ are not in violation of any law even if it is proven they paid for the photo. All involved need to be prosecuted in cases like this and with the new proposed law, all would be in violation of that law for distributing the photo whether there was exchange of money involved or not.

So, basically, they’re looking to put TMZ out of business. Their whole gig is basically that they tend to get their hands on these leaks from the legal system before anyone else. Without that shit, they’re just another paparazzi website.

Another point of view is that a law like this makes it harder for journalists to do their jobs, which is to dig up the truth behind the story. Obviously it’s not a huge national crisis if Harvey Levin can’t get his hands on a photo of a beaten pop star, but how will something like this impede journalists and media outlets who cover government or health care or politics? Will it make it harder for them to find the truth behind the PR spin?

What do you guys think? Good idea? Bad idea?

Just in case you missed it, Rihanna was out and about earlier this week in Hollywood, sans sunglasses and bruises and she looks great. It must feel good to finally be able to take the sunglasses off. Let’s just hope it’s a metaphor for the larger situation, and better night vision isn’t the only way in which she’s seeing more clearly.

I was really surprised when Chris Brown and Rihanna got back together after he assaulted her.  I was not surprised by their fake break-up this week.  Now, Star Magazine is reporting that Chris and Rihanna made a sex tape that Brown is in possession of.  Of course.  This would explain why Rihanna had to stay with him post-abuse.  Not because she has no self-esteem.  It was all because she feared the tape, that I will go out on a limb and say doesn’t even exist, being released.

Let me be very clear.  I would personally host a screening of footage of me giving a blow job to Carrot Top, and invite my grandparents, if my only alternative was being beat up by a man.  In conclusion, there is no sex tape.  They aren’t broken up.  Rihanna is working hard to hold onto her endorsement deals.

I find the whole thing disgusting.  And please-before we deal with a barrage of “You can’t judge, you don’t know what Rihanna’s going through,” comments, yes-actually, I do.  I am here to tell you that abuse fucks with your mind.  It can make you question everything you ever thought you knew about yourself.  You can be one of those I Will Never Let A Man Hit Me women, and turn around one day to find that you are that woman-battered.  But guess what?  If you have the capacity to identify right from wrong, you must leave.  Find a way.  There are options even when it seems that there are none.  It’s so hard, feels so overwhelming.  It.  Still.  Must.  Be.  Done.

Thanks to Kevin!