Just in case his political career weren’t completely, totally and utterly obliterated already, The National Enquirer — which has been freakishly accurate in its coverage of this story — says a secret DNA test proves that John Edwards is in fact the father of his mistress’s daughter, Frances Quinn Hunter.

Rielle Hunter is currently believed to be testifying in secret grand jury proceedings regarding whether Edwards used campaign finance money to keep her quiet after she got pregnant. She was spotted last week in Raleigh, N.C., entering a federal courthouse, where she spent nine hours, but the U.S. attorney’s office in Raleigh has declined to confirm or deny an investigation.

I don’t really care what the DNA test results say. It doesn’t matter. Look at this little girl. She’s a dead ringer for John Edwards, and she has been basically from birth. There’s no doubt it’s his kid.

“I lived in New York a long time. I love your paper.”

Kip Hunter, the former husband of Rielle Hunter, with whom John Edwards just admitted to having an affair. This was the only quote he would give to the New York Post when they called to chat with him. I think that’s awesome.

Rielle has a long and distinguished history as a party girl. In fact, she dated playboy author Jay McInerney for a few months, and he was so “intrigued and appalled” by the behavior of her and her friends that he actually wrote an entire book about it, called Story of My Life. And seriously if you’ve read anything by Jay McInerney, you know that intriguing and appalling him is actually quite a feat.

Now that Edwards has admitted to this, it’s fair game for the mainstream publications, so expect a lot more details to come forward in the upcoming weeks. I’m so excited!