Petra Nemcova and Roberto Cavalli get a little too close for comfort (well, at least my comfort) at a Halloween party at Cipriani.
Cavalli recently took it upon himself to announce Jennifer Lopez’s pregnancy. I’m sure Petra was just trying to comfort him.
It’s Bruce Willis.
Yeah, you read that right.
I am not fucking kidding you.
What? Happened?
PUT THE TOUPEE BACK ON, BRUCE!! YOU’RE SCARING ME!!!
I mean Just LOOK at this fucking goober.
That guy couldn’t get laid at a sex addicts meeting. Now look at the chick to his left. I’d clean her apartment for her. That’s a pun! But I really would. Dishes too.
So James Blunt and Petra Nemcova have broken up, and People magazine has confirmed it and everything. To this I say Thank God. I was starting to think the world worked in a way in which I had no comprehension, like a child lost in a movie theater playing the color bars. Now things are better. I feel better. One day at a time and all that.
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Police are investigating reports that James Blunt ran over someone’s foot as he was leaving a party, then drove off, authorities said Tuesday.
You know that joke you have with your pals where you pretend they ran over your foot as they pull out of the driveway? Blunt really did it, except without the joke part.
Oh, and TMZ.com reported that Blunt was accompanied by supermodel Petra Nemcova at the time.
Well there you go. If I was Jimmy Blunt, and I was banging Petra Nemcova I’d run over toes without a care in the world because I’m a one hit wonder. This night is probably all I have. Do I care if your toes go crunch? No fucking way man, I’m heading home and this Petra chick is going to do stuff to me that I’ve only seen in the rap videos. I mean really, just look at this fucking guy, he doesn’t have a chance, I hope he is about to run you over right now!
Crunch!
