In an email to MTV News, Pete says:

“There is a witch hunt for people to be pregnant whenever they get engaged in Hollywood. This is all news to me. I can’t wait for the story about how I’m really in a gay relationship and this is all just a cover … I mean really, this is crazy … I mean we’re engaged, that’s true, and happy about it.”

Eh.

She’s totally preggers.

Seriously, it’s like they all think this Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz marriage is going to work out.

Says Jess: My sister is overflowing with joy. Pete is an incredible soul. They naturally bring out the best in each other. I couldn’t be happier.”

And says Papa Joe (who’s currently in Georgia watching the Masters tourney with Tony Romo): “[Pete] did ask me [if he could propose]. I told him that I would be honored to have him as part of my family.”

Heh.

This thing is just waiting to implode.

Um, I guess this is a good thing.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have confirmed that they are engaged.

Ashlee’s 23, which is just a little bit older than Jess was when she married Nick Lachey. Temporarily.

So I’m not saying that people can’t get married at 23 and make it work. I’m just saying that people can’t get married at 23 and make it work in Hollywood.

Enjoy it while it lasts, kids, and be sure to make the most of it by letting reality TV cameras invade the privacy of your brief union.

Pete Wentz has taken to the streets to try to get the message out that suicide is bad, and he’s doing this by letting kids everywhere know the even angsty, eyeliner-wearing, bisexual musicians aren’t safe from the grips of suicidal depression. You don’t say?

Pete tells the story of how he once attempted suicide, just after his band had finished recording their first major-label album:

“I got in my car. I remember I was listening to Jeff Buckley doing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” and sat there and took a bunch of [anxiety drug] Ativan in a Best Buy parking lot. And I called up my manager because I was, at that point, completely out of my head with Ativan. And I was talking to him and I was slurring my words, so he called my mom and my mom called me and she came and got me and we went to the hospital.”

You tried to kill yourself by overdosing on pills, Pete? What are you, a chick?

Anyway, I’m poking fun at this, because that’s my job, but there’s nothing funny about teenage suicide. I lost more than one friend that way as a teenager and college student. Pete is working with Half of Us, a foundation whose goal is to raise awareness about mental health issues on campuses across the country. And I think that’s awesome. They have contact information for most major universities on their website. Your school can and will work with you to treat depression at little or no cost to you.

Use this resource, people, and pass it along to your friends.

Celebs are beginning to descend on Phoenix for the Super Bowl festivities.

Ashlee Simpson — is that a new hair color? again? or does it just look different in natural light? — and Pete Wentz made an appearance at the DirectTV Beach Bowl.

They both look ridiculous.

“I used to be so disillusioned about politics, but with the current state of the world, I could not sit back any longer. Obama’s voice speaks to me and my generation. For the first time in ages, I’m excited for the political process that hopefully will bring about much needed change.”

Pete Wentz, who will be hosting a fundraising party in support of Presidential candidate Barack Obama on Tuesday.

Sigh.

Nine perfectly good other fingers.

And Ashlee Simpson has to wear a crappy-ass ring on her left ring finger.

“Ashlee is not engaged,” says her rep.

Boooooooooring.