So, his character on Gossip Girl is adorable, but kind of too much of a pussy for my tastes. I like assholes. Because I’m a girl. And that’s just what we do. Like, if you’re going to spend more than two minutes contemplating what to get me for Christmas, you’re probably too nice a guy for me. This is why I’m single, people.

Anyway.

Anytime I see a pic of this guy out-of-character, I’m like “Damn, gimme some of that.” Kind of like my relationship with Leighton Meester. I hate her on the show, but always love her on the red carpet.

Here’s some shots of Penn at an Access Hollywood gifting suite from today. HOT-TIE.

After running that photo of the Victoria’s Secret angels naked, I suppose I owe the ladies (and the men who love men) a little something, too.

Check out this photo shoot of Penn Badgley, who plays Dan Humphrey on Gossip Girl and has been linked to hottie co-star Blake Lively.

Dayum!!!

He’s just kind of the witty, non-threatening cute guy on the show, but this is a whole new side.

I may have to get in on some of that action. Blake and Penn! Sign me up!

Either these kids are the ultimate example of life imitating art, or the publicists over at Gossip Girl are working overtime. On the heels of multiple reports that Leighton Meester is dating Chace Crawford, we get this:

Word on the street is that Blake Lively is dating her on-screen love, Penn Badgley, in real life.

“No one is really supposed to know that,” laughs an insider. “I was told by a friend of the family.”

This story’s a bit circumspect, firstly because everyone knows that Blake Lively belongs to me, and also because she’s reportedly still on-and-off dating her Burbank High School classmate, actor/model Kelly Blatz.

Hm.

This story was definitely planted by someone. The question is just whose someone? Gossip Girl’s producers? Blake? Penn? Or Kelly Blatz?

I just don’t know, you guys. I just don’t know. Life is full of so many unanswerable questions.

Chace Crawford, Penn Badgley and Shawn Pyfrom celebrate Penn’s 21st birthday at TAO in Las Vegas.

He’s only 21????

I am so old.

Also, everyone in this picture is really sober.

The glazed look in their eyes?

Food coma.

JC Chasez was there, too, but I can’t even really handle the weirdness of that fact to elaborate much on it. I guess he just likes younger men. You think he’s with Shawn these days? I think so.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY, PENN!