It’s called Paris and Sally, and it exists to help Paris Hilton sell her new line of $69.99 hair extensions from Sally Beauty Supply.

Because, according to Paris, “everyone should get the chance to be me.”

It even includes a very exciting video set to the tune of Paris’s hit 2006 song, “Turn It Up” (disclaimer: may not have been a hit at all).

Seriously everything about this website sucks so much.

Bet you can’t catch ‘em all!

My New BFF MTV Show

Hey everyone! It’s been a little while since I last checked in. I’ve been so busy shooting my new show. It’s been quite the experience, these people are amazing! Everyone of the contestants is very special in there own way. We are having the best time, it’s been so much fun to meet such interesting characters. We’ve gone on some crazy adventures together. I even brought some of the contestants on trips with me to Japan and Las Vegas within the past 2 weeks. It’s been a blast! It’s so much fun to take your friends to places they’ve never been and show them experiences they’d never even think of. It’s quite a site and its going to be an amazing show and I’m so happy and thrilled with what’s happening everyday. But not everything is all fun and games, they’ve been through some very brutal challenges ,so I give them major props!! I still can’t believe some of the things I’ve seen them do, quite shocking! But also very entertaining. And yes of course there’s drama sometimes, but that’s what happens when you stick a bunch of fun, crazy girls together in a house together. The only part I hate about the show is doing the eliminations, it is so hard for me. And it gets harder every time cause these past few weeks I’ve really became close with all of them and it’s hard to have to let them go. It’s actually very emotional, everyone is pretty upset every time we have to do one. But even though at the end of this I can only choose one of these people to be my best friend, I know in my heart that I’ve met some people on the show that I’ll be friends with for a lifetime. I love them all and I can’t wait for you all to see the madness!! But you’ll have to wait till September when it airs on MTV.
In my personal life, I am still very much in love and happy. He has been so supportive throughout the show, coming to visit me at set everyday. Life is good. Check out Benji’s blog at www.GoodCharlotte.com He took some pictures of our fun lil trip to vegas this weekend with some of the potential BFF’s, it was such a fun weekend!! I hosted a party at Tao, it was a great night there. Some of the girls had never even been to Vegas before, so it was fun to show them vegas my way. They had the time of there lives. Also my friend Jeff Beacher threw us one of his infamous Beacher’s Madhouse After parties over at the Mirage Hotel Mansions. There were some pretty hilarious performances and I even got cut in half by a magician. Such a great weekend! Hope your all having a great summer! Speak soon, love you all!!
Xoxo Paris

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Insiders in the New York area report that the casting call for Paris Hilton’s upcoming reality show — where she’s going to choose a new BFF — had dismal results. They say only 40 to 50 people showed up.

Said Paris on her MySpace page: there were “NO open calls for the show” and “every event is exclusive and hand-picked by invitation only … I didn’t want my potential BFFs to have to wait in a long open-call lines.”

In fairness, this is probably true. I did some research over on RealityWanted.com, which passed me over to parisbff.com, which said the following:

We are coming to the following cities and holding “Meet and Greet Mixers” where we will scout potential cast members who will be invited to attend Interviews with our casting directors on the following days. To be invited to the Mixers, email parisbffcasting@gmail.com with Name, Pic and Phone Number.
To be scheduled for an interview, apply on www.ParisBff.com/viplist.

Tragically, the application cut-off was April 15, or I swear to you guys I would be preparing my application tape right this moment. Maybe I should send them an email just in case? I’ve never wanted to be on a reality TV show in my whole life, but I totally want to do this one.

Here’s Paris chillin’ at Crystal nightclub in London with Benji.

It’s weird: her legs seem to be gaining weight, and her arms seem to be losing weight. I can’t figure it out.

I want to know the trick where my stomach, legs and arms lose weight, but my breasts gain weight. Can someone teach me that?

Good Christian girl Paris Hilton may have ditched the extensions, but she’s back to sporting the bright blue contacts, as she hits the town in London once again with future baby-daddy Joel Madden.

I refuse to believe this is real. I simply refuse.

But now even the Hilton parents are playing along.

Yes, we’re back to Robin Leach’s blog, which you really must check out. It’s a true paragon of Internet design work. And by that I mean he has not done a thing to change the default WordPress theme. Sexy! Seriously, like, if my grandfather decided to create a blog, it would have more bells and whistles than Robin Leach’s. In fact, my grandfather is probably younger than Robin Leach. Okay, look: if my five-year-old cousin decided to create a blog, she’d do a better job at the design than Robin Leach.

But I digress.

“He’s the perfect example of ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’,” says Papa Rick Hilton. “He’s polite, well-mannered—even calls me sir! We love him like family already. Benji doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and is a healthy vegan!”

Says Kathy: “He’s changed her life—and I really think she’s genuinely in love for the first time. He’s so good to her and for her. We couldn’t be happier for them. This has honestly become the real thing … Since they’ve been together Paris has changed so much. She’s calmed, stopped running and now has a very real purpose—and it’s beautiful to see two wonderful people so perfect together. It’s a great love match and I have a funny feeling it’s going to go all the way and we’ve already given it our approval!”

Jesus Christ, this can’t be for real. If Paris Fucking Hilton can find true love and I’m still single, I’m just going to adopt eight more cats and give the fuck up on romance. The universe hates me.

She’s in London this time.

Here she is leaving her hotel with Benji Madden.

I cannot believe they are continuing this charade. How is Paris not bored of this yet?

And her extensions are out again.

Here’s Paris at something called the Cosmoprof Fair in Bologna, Italy.

It’s so great that she has her name written all over everything she’s wearing. Otherwise it’s possible people wouldn’t have recognized her. What with her new hair extensions and all.