Everybody’s in love!

Everybody but me.

So I ran a bunch of errands this afternoon, hitting up Home Depot and Safeway, and I pulled into my apartment complex’s garage and headed to the door loaded down with bags. As I’m getting up to the door, this guy parks right behind me in a super-sweet black BMW SUV. I’m hobbling to the door and I hear him be all like, “Here, let me get that for you!” And he opens the door and pushes the elevator button, and we stand there and chat for a long while, because the elevator in my apartment complex takes longer to come than Ryan Seacrest with a woman. And he’s super-hot, and he’s sweet and articulate and funny, and he’s definitely flirting, and he’s dressed in a fancy suit, which I love on a man, and I’ve pretty much decided I’m going to marry him and we’re going to have babies, and I’m naming our children in my head when I realize he’s had his left hand in his suit pocket the entire time we’re talking. And then I’m like, “Oh, Beet. Wedding ring.” And then I was sad. I mean, I’m still not sure, he could just be the kind of person who keeps his left hand in his pocket at all times for no particular reason. Except for that kind of person doesn’t exist. I know he lives on the fifth floor. I’m going to commence stalking, I think. Just in case.

But whatever. At least Paris Hilton is happy. She and Benji drove a Hybrid SUV to DCMA on Monday afternoon for a lovely little photo op. And I hate that I adore Paris’s outfit. Well, not the hat, but everything else. I may have to copy it. I probably will. And I hate that, too.

Ugh.

It is truly painful to me to contemplate the 80,000 young women waiting tables in Hollywood who would have done a better job at this role.

Paris makes her entrance around the one-minute mark.

I still think the movie itself looks cool, though. Hopefully Paris’s role isn’t big enough to ruin the whole thing.

Sigh. I suppose it was just a matter of time.

Paris Hilton is teaming up with beau JoelBenji Madden to — ugh — record more music.

Paris tells E! News exclusively that the duo have been working in her new recording studio (conveniently located in her Beverly Hills mansion), writing songs—including a theme for her upcoming MTV show My New BFF.

“Benji and I have been working hard on it,” Paris said. “He’s helping me write the lyrics for the song and then I’ll sing it, too.”

When asks if she’s going to subject the world to another album, Paris says “Definitely. I’ll have another album come out, for sure. I just don’t know when yet. I only have the summer off, then I’ll be taping another season of BFF. But an album is something I’ll do.”

So they’ve already signed her to do another season of that stupid show? Before the first one has even aired? And doesn’t that, like, blatantly suggest that she’s not actually looking for a best friend forever? She’s actually looking for a BFUTNSA — Best Friend Until The Next Season Airs.

He has to compete with Paris’ heels!

If it weren’t for that big-ass hat, Paris would look way taller than him. She kind of does anyway …

Here’s Paris and Benji doing some shopping in LA.

Paris recently clarified that story about her trying to buy a puppy for a photo shoot, saying that “I wasn’t looking for a new pet. I wasn’t even at a photo shoot that day. Puppies are not accessories or toys.”

Eh. It happens to the best of us.

It’s called Paris and Sally, and it exists to help Paris Hilton sell her new line of $69.99 hair extensions from Sally Beauty Supply.

Because, according to Paris, “everyone should get the chance to be me.”

It even includes a very exciting video set to the tune of Paris’s hit 2006 song, “Turn It Up” (disclaimer: may not have been a hit at all).

Seriously everything about this website sucks so much.

Bet you can’t catch ‘em all!

My New BFF MTV Show

Hey everyone! It’s been a little while since I last checked in. I’ve been so busy shooting my new show. It’s been quite the experience, these people are amazing! Everyone of the contestants is very special in there own way. We are having the best time, it’s been so much fun to meet such interesting characters. We’ve gone on some crazy adventures together. I even brought some of the contestants on trips with me to Japan and Las Vegas within the past 2 weeks. It’s been a blast! It’s so much fun to take your friends to places they’ve never been and show them experiences they’d never even think of. It’s quite a site and its going to be an amazing show and I’m so happy and thrilled with what’s happening everyday. But not everything is all fun and games, they’ve been through some very brutal challenges ,so I give them major props!! I still can’t believe some of the things I’ve seen them do, quite shocking! But also very entertaining. And yes of course there’s drama sometimes, but that’s what happens when you stick a bunch of fun, crazy girls together in a house together. The only part I hate about the show is doing the eliminations, it is so hard for me. And it gets harder every time cause these past few weeks I’ve really became close with all of them and it’s hard to have to let them go. It’s actually very emotional, everyone is pretty upset every time we have to do one. But even though at the end of this I can only choose one of these people to be my best friend, I know in my heart that I’ve met some people on the show that I’ll be friends with for a lifetime. I love them all and I can’t wait for you all to see the madness!! But you’ll have to wait till September when it airs on MTV.
In my personal life, I am still very much in love and happy. He has been so supportive throughout the show, coming to visit me at set everyday. Life is good. Check out Benji’s blog at www.GoodCharlotte.com He took some pictures of our fun lil trip to vegas this weekend with some of the potential BFF’s, it was such a fun weekend!! I hosted a party at Tao, it was a great night there. Some of the girls had never even been to Vegas before, so it was fun to show them vegas my way. They had the time of there lives. Also my friend Jeff Beacher threw us one of his infamous Beacher’s Madhouse After parties over at the Mirage Hotel Mansions. There were some pretty hilarious performances and I even got cut in half by a magician. Such a great weekend! Hope your all having a great summer! Speak soon, love you all!!
Xoxo Paris

[source]

Insiders in the New York area report that the casting call for Paris Hilton’s upcoming reality show — where she’s going to choose a new BFF — had dismal results. They say only 40 to 50 people showed up.

Said Paris on her MySpace page: there were “NO open calls for the show” and “every event is exclusive and hand-picked by invitation only … I didn’t want my potential BFFs to have to wait in a long open-call lines.”

In fairness, this is probably true. I did some research over on RealityWanted.com, which passed me over to parisbff.com, which said the following:

We are coming to the following cities and holding “Meet and Greet Mixers” where we will scout potential cast members who will be invited to attend Interviews with our casting directors on the following days. To be invited to the Mixers, email parisbffcasting@gmail.com with Name, Pic and Phone Number.
To be scheduled for an interview, apply on www.ParisBff.com/viplist.

Tragically, the application cut-off was April 15, or I swear to you guys I would be preparing my application tape right this moment. Maybe I should send them an email just in case? I’ve never wanted to be on a reality TV show in my whole life, but I totally want to do this one.