Paris Hilton will have until Tuesday to start her stint in jail. Even though she is “being treated like any other prisoner” she will be separated from other inmates during her stay. According to a spokesperson for the jail,

Once [Paris] arrives, the ”Simple Life” star will be housed in the jail’s ‘’special needs” unit. Like other inmates in the special-needs area, Hilton will take her meals in her cell and will be allowed outside the 12-foot-by-8-foot space for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone.

Ok that doesn’t sound so bad. She gets to check out some TV, maybe jog around the yard. I bet she could deal with that for 24 days.
He goes on to say,

Inmates are not allowed to bring cell phones into the jail.

Oh my god! She is going to feel naked. Honestly without the ability to send mean spirited text messages and sexually suggestive photos to her friends via her Sidekick what will she do? Can she even read if they give her a book?
Not only will Paris be without her signature cell phone she also will be without her million dollar wardrobe and hair products. I really wish that she would have to be there for a bit longer. I would love to see what those extensions would do after a couple months with no conditioning. Not only do I not think she can read but I also question if anyone has ever taught her how to brush her own hair.

Besides a decidedly unglamorous orange jumpsuit, inmates are issued a standard-issue kit that includes: a toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, soap, a comb, deodorant, shampoo and shaving implements, along with a jail-issued pencil, stationery, envelopes and stamps.

She will probably be booted out of jail in about 3 days. Those jails are so overcrowded anyway that nobody ends up staying there for too long unless they kill someone.

Paris is going to make the most out of her jail stay. She already has pimped out her best friend and her dog and now is going to use prison as a way to get more famous. As much as I hate this girl…she is kind of a genius.

Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday.

It’s understood that the glamorous inmate-to-be plans to turn the perp walk into a catwalk, and she wants the media to see her looking her best.

“The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies,” an insider says.

“Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she’s going to do the same out of going to prison.”

But the pal observes: “It’s not just about marketing, it’s about making money. If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater.”

Hilton is also said to have decided to write a prison diary during her 23-day sentence, for publication upon release.

Paris is the first celebutard to go to jail. Everyone now is going to want to go. Jail…so hot right now.

Rumer Willis, 18, hits up Hyde last night for the club’s first anniversary. (And, with any luck, its last.) Paris Hilton also chose last night to make a brief pit stop in her spiritual journey and spend some time celebrating the one-year of her favorite stomping grounds.

Get a backpack.

Paris Hilton’s lawyer had planned to file an appeal of Paris’s sentencing decision at 1:30 p.m. today, hoping to get another shot at keeping his client out of jail. However, this morning, her attorney’s office called the court and canceled the meeting. Later in the day, he formally filed a document with the court, abandoning the appeal.

Paris will not, however, serve the full 45 days to which she was originally sentenced. She’ll only do 23 days; the sentence was cut due to “good behavior.” Paris will also be in a special “celebrity cell,” and kept separate from the general population of the prison.

Although I’ve lived in L.A. for awhile now, I’ll always be an Arizona girl at heart, and I’ll always have a soft spot for “America’s Toughest Sheriff,” who made his inmates live in tents in the AZ summer heat, wear pink jumpsuits and eat meat he’d dyed green. But today I love Sheriff Joe even more than usual, because he’s offering AZ’s facilities to L.A. County, lest the overcrowding in L.A. mean Paris has to do less time than she was originally sentenced to do.

Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio says he’s spoken to the chief of jails in Los Angeles and offered to house Hilton at Tent City.

“I just made an offer,” Arpaio said. “Instead of reducing her sentence, which I feel is wrong, why not bring her over here? We can incarcerate her here. She can do her time over here.”

And according to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s department, the Los Angeles County Sheriff is considering the proposal.

“Oh, I’d love to have her here,” Arpaio said. “Just another celebrity. Not that I’m a publicity hound, but I’d imagine if I had her in these tents there’d be (publicity).”

Arpaio says that while that Los Angeles County is considering his offer, Hilton’s lawyers will probably object.

She’ll probably do anywhere from four to twenty-four days. Look here:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Paris Hilton may spend far fewer than 45 days in county jail for violating probation because of state policies and jail overcrowding, authorities said Thursday.

Ah yes, overcrowding. Stop going to jail Cali people! And shouldn’t they at least consider reserving a V.I.P. room like they do at fancy restaurants?

“It’s possible that it could be 21 days, 23 days. It’s a complicated formula that the state sets down. It’s possible that she could do less time,” (spokesman Steve) Whitmore told The Associated Press.

Um, how complicated are we talking here? I’m assuming we start with the 45 days. And then we divide it or something. Maybe we throw in how many other inmates are around contributing to the overcrowding.

Look, If I’m going to hunger strike while Paris is in the clink I need the exact number. Good God man.

Last year, “Lost” actress Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced to 60 days in jail for violating probation after her drunken driving arrest in Hawaii. She was released in hours because of overcrowding.

Holy Crap! Hours?? Exactly how good was her behavior? Did she knit something? Perhaps a gentle lullaby for a guard? Yipes.

I, for one, did not go to evil blog school to see Paris in jail for only a few hours.

She will not receive any favors because she is a celebrity, he added.

Of course she won’t. The fact that her daddy can donate millions of dollars to any political cause on a whim won’t help her at all. In fact, powerful people have always been treated the exact same way us us, so long as “exact same” means “completely opposite.” Can we run a pool on her exact jail time? Maybe dedicate a slam poetry post to the winner?