Oh, wait.

My boss is telling me that’s her boyfriend.

Weird.

Ms. Hilton is being sued to the tune of $75,000 for failing to promote National Lampoon’s Pledge This, a film on which she was, technically, an executive producer.

Worldwide Entertainment Group Inc said it paid Paris and her company, Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc., $1 million for “Hilton’s acting services” and for “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie.

HOLY SHIT.

These people paid Paris Hilton $1M to do a movie????

Uh, somebody should sue them.

The only question I have is: Why is this only just now happening?

I can’t believe that “Paris for President” shirts haven’t been around for ages.

But better late than never!

Paris is rushing a line of “Paris for President” T-shirts into Kitson after her video rebuttal to McCain’s campaign ad became an Internet sensation.

Paris’s rep says the venture isn’t only for profit. “It will have a charity aspect,” he says.

Hopefully that charity aspect will be to fund a new publicist for Britney Spears. She was also a huge part of the McCain ad, and, while Paris has done everything imaginable to capitalize on and profit from this “negative” exposure, Britney hasn’t even made a statement. Get with it, Britster!

The Associated Press says she memorized all her lines for the spoof. In fairness, though, they also say she’s 24 years old, which isn’t even remotely true. So take this with a grain of salt.

The 24-year-old heiress memorized her entire monologue, which included Hilton outlining her energy plan, in an online video spoof posted on Funny or Die, the comedy Web site’s content director said.

Co-founder Adam McKay came up with the concept for a mock ad starring Hilton, which has received over 3 million views since it was posted Tuesday.

“Adam thought it would be really funny to get Paris to respond to the John McCain ad that featured her,” Funny or Die content director Amy Rhodes told The Associated Press on Wednesday. “Adam contacted Paris directly, and she agreed to do it. He wrote the sketch. And she really, really loved it.”

I don’t think she quite meets the age requirement. Otherwise, I would start a serious write-in campaign on her behalf.

Also make sure to check out their necklaces.

[Disclaimer: Before you get mad at me for "taking sides" in any form of voting that will not take place on a reality TV show, please read this.]

We’ve mentioned previously that the Hilton camp can’t be particularly thrilled that they donated money to the McCain campaign, only to see Barack Obama unfavorably compared to Paris in his most recent campaign ad.

Now comes confirmation from a flurry of political blogs.

I hear whispers from the inner campaign staff that the phone was burning off the hook today with calls from Paris Hilton’s grandfather, William Barron Hilton (co-chair of the Hilton Hotel empire), furious that the McCain ad drew an unflattering comparison between Obama and his own granddaughter.

It seems that the elder Hilton has donated $18,400 to the McCain campaign, and $35,000 to the National Republican Senatorial Committee in the last couple of years. (Paris’s father, Rick Hilton, has given an additional $6,900 to the McCain campaign. Suffice it to say, he’s none too pleased either.)

Apparently, the elder Hiltons had breathed a sigh of relief that Paris was starting to get her act together since hitting rock bottom with her stay in jail last year, when all of a sudden the McCain ad compares her unfavorably to Britney Spears and Barack Obama.

I suspect that heads will roll at the McCain headquarters - if not within the staff, then I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve Schmidt starts looking for a new consulting firm for the next round of ads. This is a reminder to my brethren at the Campaign: don’t bite the hand that feeds us.

Paris Hilton isn’t just a tabloid tart to be tossed around willy-nilly. She’s the living brand name of one of America’s most successful global corporations. It’s no wonder her grandfather’s upset: every time Paris is in the news, fewer people stay at their hotels. Try explaining that to The Blackstone Group - the hedge fund firm that bought into Hilton Hotels last year. Blackstone chairman Peter G. Peterson gave $30,800 to the McCain campaign this year. Guess who also called the campaign today?

Do you hear that, America? Paris Hilton may stand for being tossed around willy-nilly, as long as she’s drunk, naked and being filmed by a millionaire playboy, but under any other circumstances it is totally inappropriate.

Britney Spears, however?

You can do whatever you want to her. I mean, what are you gonna do, force Jamie Spears’ catering business into the ground? Oh, right, he already had to quit that to become a full-time parent to his 26-year-old daughter.

She just won’t quit.

Paris Hilton was in Las Vegas on Tuesday to launch her new line of shoes for Macy’s.

You can check out the full collection here.

Ugh. I would like to talk shit about this line, and there are certainly some items you’d never ever catch me wearing — even if I were a stripper — but there are also some good basic shoes in there at a reasonable price. Okay, I mean, I shouldn’t get ahead of myself here. There are like five or six pairs of shoes in this line that I really dig. The rest are pretty awful. But it’s hard to find brands that make a standard, basic black heel in the shape that I like, and Paris has nailed it. So props to her for that.