Ah, these two special ladies both attended the opening of Sapphire New York Gentlemen’s Club and Prime 333 Steakhouse last night-one as an employee and the other as a laughingstock.  Incidentally, does anyone see the irony of PETA fanatic Pam Anderson attending the opening of a steakhouse?  I can totally see her supporting the strip club…but a steakhouse?  I’m sure there’s some “piece of meat” joke in there somewhere.

I’m convinced that Samantha’s lady-like pose is in response to someone having asked where her Guns and Roses shirt was, but I have no explanation for trailer park-dwelling Pam.  Has she not worn out the coked out eyes and maxed out white hot pants look by now?  It’s.  Been.  Done.

Also there was Shannen Doherty and Vincent Pastore who looks like he ate an entire cow as opposed to your standard Porterhouse.

The classiest broad on the planet had some kind words about fellow blonde bombshell (kidding!) Pamela Anderson for Page Six: “Pam Anderson doesn’t even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it’s a trailer park in Malibu.”

Mostly, what’s blowing my mind here is that Courtney Love seems to have made a complete statement in 140 characters or less, a feat she’s been unable to accomplish thus far on Twitter.

But Page Six took the time to look into her accusations. They say that a “quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 — and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million.”

Uh, dude, if you can afford a $325K anything, why on earth would you buy a double-wide trailer??? Malibu is so weird.

I think I’m supposed to be behaving myself with the nip pics around here.  So here is a totally suitable for work and mainstream advertising picture of Pamela Anderson walking the runway at the Vivienne Westwood show in Paris and realizing that she just had a total Tara Reid red carpet moment.

Uh, after the jump, there are the pictures that you really don’t want to see.  NSFW

(more…)

Palmonella Anderson walks squats the runway of designer Richie Rich’s show.

I’ve told her a million times, do not swallow the condom.  It does no good for your innards.

I’d like to issue a blanket apology to the west coasters and, really, all readers in other time zones who possibly read Evil Beet whilst enjoying their breakfast.  No one should have to navigate their oatmeal while being subjected to this, but think of all the calories I just saved you.

Could Pamela Anderson have found the man she wants to spend the next moon phase with?  She was spotted this weekend on a Malibu beach frolicking with her new mystery man and a wedgie.

Pam has lots going on this year and continues to wow me with both her beauty and brains.  Not only is she in great shape and hoping to make her fourteenth appearance in Playboy this year, but in her continued work on behalf of PETA, she has explained animal population to authorities in India by informing them that “Dogs don’t wear condoms.”  Apparently, she’s never had sex with my ex-boyfriend.

I’m all about any convenience that makes my life easier.  Schedules are tough in my house and I am all about quality of the time I spend with my family.  I sometimes get my groceries delivered and I totally believe in full-serve gas stations.  But there is a line that must be drawn.  For me, that line is drawn at Lunchables and Uncrustables.  It’s never okay to defrost a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Okay?  Never.  However, Pamela Anderson?  She’s totally willing to take it further.  Like…not wearing pants.  Or showering.  Or looking in a mirror.  By eliminating normal grooming, she has freed up valuable minutes in her day.  Apparently to do drugs by the looks of it.  My personal favorite pic?  Her looking at Paris like “What the fuck do you have on?”

Pamela Anderson at the Art Basel Miami Beach show last night.

I’m starting to question the existence of network executive brain matter.  The Molly Shannon and Selma Blair comedy Kath & Kim premiered with 7.5 million viewers on October 9th.  One month later, 5.1 million viewers.  They are obviously in big trouble.  So NBC has done the only logical thing.  They signed Pamela Anderson for a guest role and ordered up a full season of new episodes.  I get that tits are popular but are they two and a half million viewers popular?  With all the porn available on the net, I just can’t envision masses of viewers racing to their sets because Pamela Anderson Lee Ritchie Salomon is on TV.  Miracles do happen and maybe Our Sister of Silicone can save the day.  But I doubt it.

Perhaps I’m just feeling a little bitter over NBC’s axing of Las Vegas.  Still.