Owen Wilson was spotted splashing around in the waters of Hawaii this weekend. Maybe some water therapy is just what he needs. We hope you’re happy and healthy, Owen!

Image via Splash

Jesus. Christ.

I’m not gonna sugarcoat this, or use euphemisms or nicknames or anything like that.

That is just a huge fucking penis.

I would ride that thing into the sunset.

Seriously, how can you attempt suicide when you have a penis like that? It’s like totally unfair to the whole world. We need you and your penis, Owen! We need you! This guy and his penis need to be on 24-hour suicide watch wherever they go.

Owen’s on vacation in Peru with the lucky, lucky Woody Harrelson.

And I love his penis.

I have no idea who named this girl. It sounds like she’s some sort of really cheap hooker who wants to be French.

Anyway, she’s supposedly running around town with Owen Wilson. They even took a yoga class together!

Page Six ran a piece yesterday about how she stole and purposely broke an umbrella some NYC restauranteur lent her. Sounds like she’s exactly what Owen Wilson needs right now. About as much as he needs to be running around the NYC bar scene.

The first interview with Owen since his suicide attempt will be posted on MySpace at midnight tonight!

Wilson, 38, is participating in MySpace’s Artist on Artist series with friend and director, Wes Anderson. The segment was filmed on Thursday and will be will be posted on the networking site on October 26, at midnight pst.

You can view it here when it’s up.

But my guess is this is gonna be one of those “all about the work” interviews. I guess we’ll see.

Looks like his little self-inflicted brush with death may win him Kate Hudson back!

The ‘Almost Famous’ actress is said to be desperate to woo back Owen - who was hospitalised in August after a failed suicide bid - after realising she still loves him.

A source said: “It was working out between her and Dax, but it’s a clean break.

“After Owen’s suicide attempt, she realised how much she loved him, and broke up with Dax.”

Hooray! Suicide does work, after all!

Yeah, right. Owen Wilson needs a girlfriend right now like he needs a hole in the head.

Owen: Get sober again. Get healthy again. Focus on you.

Kate: Leave him alone!

He skipped the film’s screening on Wednesday, but Owen Wilson did show up for the Los Angeles premiere of The Darjeeling Limited on Thursday night.

It doesn’t look like he did the red carpet, though. This is the only photo of him WireImage has from the event.

So Owen Wilson was all set to do a cameo in the upcoming Ben Stiller flick, Tropic Thunder, but then the whole suicide attempt thing happened. Owen didn’t decide to go to rehab in the aftermath, but he did decide to drop out of the film.

His replacement?

Matthew McConaughey.

Not nearly as funny.