Ick!!!

Super-hottie model Miranda Kerr has reportedly broken up with boyfriend Orlando Bloom — and landed back in the arms of her ex, greasy, alcoholic billionaire Brandon Davis.

Brandon and Miranda were spotted sucking face all over the NYC club scene earlier this week.

Who would want to kiss Brandon Davis? I’d honestly be worried about horrible acne break-outs with my skin in such close proximity to all his grease. It seems like quite a risk to take for someone who makes her living based on her looks! I hope she’s using her ProActiv at night!

This photo was taken of Orlando and Miranda going on vacation together in late June — so something must have happened recently to disturb their romance. Wonder what it was.

What you’re looking at is a picture of Orlando Bloom’s $2.7M L.A. mansion, which he recently opted to paint black, pissing off neighbors like Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johannson.

“Charlize and Scarlett were a bit taken aback,” a source tells British tab The Sun. “Most go for white, but Orlando went completely the other way. It’s a bit weird, but that’s Orlando - he’s an original guy.”

I gotta say, it looks kind of cool.

Images via WENN

It looks like it!

In addition to his ­recent fling with Jessica Simpson, 27, the Pirates of the Caribbean hunk, 30, is on a fast-track romance with model Miranda Kerr, 24.

“They’ve been friends for a long time,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But they only decided to give it a go a few weeks back.”

On ­October 18, Bloom turned out to support the Aussie stunner at the Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta Pink party in Beverly Hills.

An insider tells Us the couple took an amorous jaunt to East Hampton, New York, on October 4 and 5.

While at dinner at the 1770 House, they held hands and sipped wine. Gushes the source, “Miranda’s very into him!”

I think what this girl really needs are longer legs.

I’m in the weirdest mood tonight. I did a favor for a friend today and as a thank you she gave me a hot stone massage (I’m serious — this is LA, people), and it really feels like she gave me about eight Valium instead. So I can’t bring myself to do links, or anything even remotely productive right now. (Although, MK will be be glad to hear that I did eat the leftover onion rings from Kate Mantilini tonight.) I may do some links in the morning, but, until then, here are some of my friends’ sites to check out, and a picture of Orlando Bloom for Heidi, because she says there’s not enough Orlando Bloom gossip on the Internet lately.

popbytes
Celebitchy
A Socialite’s Life
Pop on the Pop
Holy Candy
Pretty on the Outside
Celebrity Smack
Agent Bedhead

Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom arrive at Narita for the Tokyo premiere of Pirates 3, because if the U.S. has to be inflicted with this thing, Tokyo does too, dammit. Keira Knightley, once again, is nowhere to be seen. Maybe she’s flying in later. I mean, she is in this movie, isn’t she? It’s kind of bullshit that Johnny and Orlando have to schlep their asses around the globe promoting this thing and she’s, like, way too busy not eating to attend.

For the record, Abbie Cornish claims she and Ryan Phillippe are “friends and that’s it.” [Just Jared]

In a last-ditch effort to make something good come of Elizabethtown, Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst are now officially dating. [A Socialite's Life]

Nicole Richie fires celeb stylist Rachel Zoe, possibly because she’s the only person on the planet who makes Richie look obese in comparison. [Perez Hilton]

Kate Moss’s fiance, Pete Doherty, is arrested for possession of crack cocaine. [Cele|Bitchy]

Carmen Electra is old now, too. And bless the girls at Dirty Laundry, who always link to the full-size photos of celebs, so you can check out every little zit and wrinkle on her aging little face. [Dirty Laundry]

• Orlando Bloom decides he can’t see Kate Bosworth anymore. No, really, he can’t actually see her anymore.
• It’s official: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes found a baby to adopt! Katie Couric kicked off her CBS career with the pics. From the looks of the kid, some 15-year-old prostitute in Cambodia is a real big fan of Scientology these days.
• It’s not that Victoria Beckham is pregnant, it’s just that her husband doesn’t speak Spanish.
• When a lot of rich people have invested a lot of money in you, you don’t have to go to jail for petty things like using heroin and selling cocaine to teenagers in rehab. Isn’t that right, Pete Doherty?
• Jessica Simpson denies she’s dating John Mayer on the View today. So if we could just get a moratorium on all “Is Jessica Simpson’s Body a Wonderland?” headlines for awhile, that’d be great, mmkay?