Didn’t I tell you Oprah was the shit?  Did I not just say that Oprah was serious upper-echelon status?  I must have had a premonition.  Beet and Soleil may have the stripper names around here, but I am totally the site psychic.

The Huffington Post just reported that disgraced Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevich, was considering nominating Oprah for Obama’s vacated Senate seat.  Really.  This woman can’t pick a memoirist capable of passing a lie detector test; I’m thinking daily contact with politicians isn’t the best gig for her.  Personally, I think Blagojevich targeted her based on ability to pay.

Here is where I commit virtual suicide.  I don’t understand the power Oprah has over consumers, if not her own thyroid.  She’s a self-made woman and I respect that.  But what is up with this Oprah’s Favorite Things bullshit?  The Kindle is on backorder for months because she said she liked it as much as potatoes ; it’s really not that impressive a device.  I couldn’t order my favorite bra online for three weeks because their site crashed after people learned that it’s the brand that Oprah’s nips prefer too.   I laugh when I think of her audience showing up for the Favorite Things 2008 show taping only to learn that all the gifts would cost “next to nothing” in recognition of our current economic state.  Let’s get this straight O:  There is never a better time for free $800 cashmere sweaters and stainless steel refrigerators than when one is homeless.  Selfish bitch.

“God bless your real breasts.”

Oprah Winfrey, to Kate Winslet, as the two discussed Kate’s breasts’ performance in The Reader. “In all the scenes, your breasts do what real breasts do,” Oprah said.

Hooray for real titties!

I asked a male friend of mine recently whether he preferred real breasts over fake. “I don’t really care,” he said, “as long as they’re big.”

Sigh.

Men are such special creatures.

From the (very reputable) Financial Times:

In London, the local interest centres around the question of who will be the next US ambassador to Britain. If Obama wins, the guessing-game centres around Caroline Kennedy – a prominent Obama supporter, who spoke at the Democratic convention in Denver. This would be an interesting appointment, given that the last Kennedy to serve as US ambassador to Britain – Joe Kennedy – did not exactly cover himself in glory. He was forced to resign in 1940 after injudiciously suggesting that “democracy is finished in England”.

But there is also a far more interesting name doing the rounds than Caroline Kennedy – Oprah Winfrey. This is a bona fide rumour, put about by “well-placed sources”. The argument is that Oprah is also a prominent supporter of Obama and that she might be looking for a “change of direction” – having got bored with her mega-star status.

Oprah as a political ambassador?

I LOVE IT!!!

I just have one additional request: Can Lindsay Lohan be Drug Czar? Please? I don’t care who wins the whole President game as long as they appoint Lindsay Lohan as Drug Czar.

What do you guys think??

Thanks Caroline!

A huge congratulations to Tyler Perry who, on Saturday, became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio. He celebrated by throwing a huge bash in Atlanta, where the studio is based.

“I spent 56 years making movies and this is the reward that I have that means the most to me,” said Sidney Poitier of Perry’s achievement.

And check out Oprah Winfrey crying her eyes out over this!

Also there to celebrate: Ruby Dee, Cicely Tyson, Louis Gossett, Jr., Holly Robinson Peete, Tracey Edmonds, music mogul L.A. Reid, John Legend, Eva Pigford, Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds.

Congratulations to Mr. Perry!

John McCain may accuse Barack Obama of being the “biggest celebrity in the world,” but perhaps that honor belongs more to Oprah Winfrey, who will be on-hand to support Obama at the Democratic National Convention in Denver later this month. But she’ll just be there as a fan.

“Oprah has not been asked to introduce him, is not expecting to be asked to introduce him and I would doubt that she would want to introduce him. She thinks this is his moment,” said Oprah’s BFF Gayle King.

Heh. Wherever Oprah goes, it’s Oprah’s moment.

I wonder if Heidi Montag will be at the Republicans’ convention.

One can only hope.

As if Oxygen weren’t enough, Oprah Winfrey has announced she is launching ANOTHER network, OWN, the Opray Winfrey Network.

“For me, the launch of ‘The Oprah Winfrey Network’ is the evolution of the work I’ve been doing on television all these years and a natural extension of my (syndicated daytime) show,” Winfrey said in a statement.

And with that, guys, I’m taking the rest of the day as a mental health day. Sorry, but I need it. Love you guys bunches.

Ya know, Oprah and Obama makes me think of that schtick David Letterman used when he was hosting the Oscars. Remember that? “Oprah, Uma. Uma, Oprah.” You could just as easily stick “Obama” in that joke; it’s equally funny.

Anyway.

This is interesting.

One in three New Hampshire women between the ages of 18 and 29 said the talk-show queen’s recent campaign appearances with Barack Obama made them less likely to vote for the Illinois Democrat, according to a poll released yesterday by Zogby International and Lifetime Television.

At the other end of the age spectrum, 17 percent of women over 65 said Oprah’s support lowered their opinions of Obama.

And 73 percent of women said it made no difference to their campaign choices at all.

Voters don’t want “to have their entertainment figures involved in political support,” Fritz Wenzel, director of communications at Zogby International, told the Chicago Sun-Times.

In fairness, these statistics don’t address that all-important demo of women between 29 and 65, and the 73% figure isn’t qualified (which demo does it apply to?), and, with women 18-29, how did the remaining 2/3 respond? You always have to look at stats like this with a critical eye. I’d be interested in seeing the raw data. I checked the Zogby site for it, but couldn’t track it down. Anyone have any thoughts on where I might find it?