Oksana Grigorieva has just given birth to Mel Gibson’s eighth child.

I am therefore requesting that all of you smart, sensible, responsible, sane human beings out there who are in stable relationships drop trow and get to making some babies, immediately. If you’re in a same-sex relationship, do your part and donate your white squigglies, get artificially inseminated, adopt, and do whatever else you can to raise some kids in your smart, sensible, stable, sane homes.

Because at the rate people like Mel Gibson, Octomom, and the Duggar family are going, it won’t be long before we’re outnumbered.

Do your part.

Not that we didn’t already know, but, for the record, Mel Gibson’s rep has finally confirmed that his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is, in fact, guaranteed a bunch of his money pregnant with his demon spawn.

In fact, Mel shared the news with his friend Jay Leno during a recent Tonight Show taping for an episode that will air this week — Leno’s last episode as the host of the show. What a fantastic goodbye gift: Another Gibson kid on the loose. The Malibu rehabs are already planning the new wing they’ll be able to build.

“I guess I’m ‘Octo-Mel,’” quipped Gibson, who has seven kids with his estranged wife.

Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha. You’re so funny, Mel. And by “funny” I of course mean “bigoted.”

We heard rumors awhile back that Mel Gibson’s new girlfriend may be pregnant with his demon spawn, and now TMZ has stepped in to confirm them.

They say Oksana Grigorieva is in her second trimester, and Mel has already told his wife and existing kids about the pregnancy.

A song lyric comes to mind here. It goes something like this: “Eighteen years, eighteen years, she got one of your kids, got you for eighteen years.”

Just saying, Mel.

Ewwwwwww ew and ewwwwwww!

Total scumbag!!!

Just weeks after Mel Gibson’s wife filed for divorce because he’s a cheating asshole loser, he showed up at the LA premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine with his new penis clamp, Oksana Grigorieva, who may or may not be pregnant with his child.

It kind looks like someone pulled a Wolverine on this woman’s face.

I take some comfort in the knowledge that his Robyn is going to walk away from this nonsense with a cool $450 mil. I can only hope she uses a portion of that to put a hit out on her douchebag ex-husband.