Nicollette Sheridan, the primary reason to watch Desperate Housewives, is out.  Her last episode airs in April and the season ends in May.  No word yet on who will sleep with every husband on Wisteria Lane now.

Any ideas on a replacement for DH?  I don’t even know what else is on.  Maybe I should start getting into football.  Oh, wait.

How does this dude land these chicks?

He knocked up a Playboy Playmate last year, he’s dated Pamela Anderson and Heather Locklear, and now he’s running around Vegas playing grab-ass with Nicollette Sheridan, who he’s apparently been porking since November.

The two had dinner together on Saturday at Sushisamba in the Palazzo in Las Vegas. “Although there wasn’t major PDA, they definitely were affectionate throughout their meal,” a source reports. Spade sipped Diet Pepsi with his meal while Nicole had a Belvedere mojito.

Okay, so is this his whole game? The short funny dude stays dead sober and totally on-the-ball while he gets these leggy blondes wasted? Is that how it works? Because, otherwise, I don’t get it. Not at all.

Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton really need to just stop dating each other once and for all.

The couple dated for five years in the early ’90s, then split up, then started dating again in 2005 (almost immediately after she broke off her engagement to Nicklas Söderblom), and got engaged in March 2006. And now they’re splitting up again. Nicollette’s rep confirms the news.

If these two get back together again in a couple of years, I’m gonna be way annoyed. This is in stark contrast to Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling, who can split up and get back together as frequently as they wish, as long as they eventually die peacefully in one another’s arms after retelling each other the story of their eternal love. Sigh.