From Page Six:

NICOLE Richie knows how rumors get started, so she’s nipping in the bud any chance of wicked whispers about her and boyfriend Joel Madden being on the outs. Wednesday night, Madden went to celebrate the first anniversary of the Village Pourhouse on Third Avenue, and all was well until a party promoter wanted to take a picture of him with a cute young woman. Our spy reports, “He said he couldn’t, as Nicole gave him strict orders not to take pictures with other celebrities or girls for rumor purposes.”

Oh, silly, silly Nicole. Clearly you don’t know me. If I want to say you and Joel are on the outs, I’ll do it whether or not I have a picture to prove it.

Truth be told, I think these two will be together at least until this kid’s two or so. They were spotted yesterday apartment-hunting in NYC.

Spotted: A pregnant Nicole Richie — wearing a loose black top — and baby daddy Joel Madden, at Trash & Vaudeville in NYC’s East Village.

See, people? When you actually want the paparazzi to leave you alone, it’s super easy. You just avoid the ten places in the whole world that they camp out. There are no paparazzi in the East Village. Props to Nicole for actually getting the hell out of LA to maintain some privacy during this time.

It’s here!!! We finally get to see it!!! THE BABY BUMP!!!

Check out the roots, too. She’s not getting her hair dyed, as preggers women are discouraged from doing that.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Nicole Richie wants to do her time in the Los Angeles County jail. Richie’s lawyer contacted the county Sheriff’s Department earlier this week and indicated the reality TV star wanted to serve her four-day sentence in county lockup rather than a city jail, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said Thursday.

See, this is planning. You’ve got to own your surroundings people. County jail = good, city jail = bad. It’s the same thing with mice actually.

The only odd thing is:

Richie was ordered to spend 90 hours, either in county jail or at any city jail in the county that would accept her.

It’s only 90 hours, three and a half days, how bad could city jail be? Also, given the language of that order I would just build my own jail and have it accept me. My jail would have a dolphin tank if that helps you get the vibe of what my jail would be all about.

During her interview with Diane Sawyer today, Nicole Richie finally confirmed that she’s pregnant.

“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” she told Diane. “I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong.”

Okay, okay, she said that last part about her recent DUI, but I just think it’s funnier if you apply it to having sex with Joel Madden. She continues to say that “if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”

Whatever, Nicole, no one’s even that impressed with your antics anymore. So you popped some Vicodin and got confused about an L.A. freeway on-ramp. I do that at least daily. Lindsay Lohan fucking kidnapped people. You girls need to step up your game, stat. I’m thinking some manner of drug-smuggling ring involving single-mother, illegal immigrants. Who you kidnapped.

The interview with Diane will air on ABC on Thursday and Friday.

Because, you know, when it was just one sex tape and one DUI, it was kind of funny to leave these two alone with small children and farm animals. But now we’re dealing with multiple recorded hours of drug use, racist rants, probable herpes infections, pregnancies out of wedlock, three DUIs and two jail sentences, and all of a sudden no one really wants their kids on TV quite that badly anymore.

First Paris.

Soon Lindsay.

Now Nicole!

When is Britney Spears going to go to jail? She’s the last on the list!

Nicole Richie was sentenced today to spend four days in jail following her DUI last year. This was Nicole’s second DUI, and the minimum sentence in California is five days in jail. However, Nicole was given a full day of credit for the six hours she spent in the slammer after her arrest.

The pregnant Nicole is due in January. Sources say that it is unlikely she will be forced to spend time in jail before she gives birth.

So what gives? Paris gets 45 days in jail for driving on a suspended license, and Nicole gets four days for her second DUI? I guess it all depends on the judge …

Nicole Richie has won this round.

Nicole’s DUI trial was supposed to start today, but her lawyer effectively petitioned to have the trial date pushed back until August, when an expert witness would be available to testify. The expert witness, Dr. Terence McGee, will testify that urinalysis results are an inaccurate way to do drug testing, and that the cops should have used blood testing instead (notwithstanding the fact that Nicole admitted her drug use).

The new court date is August 16. Richie is currently around three months pregnant, so I’m sure it’s very important to her that she not do jail time for this offense, her second DUI in California.