Uh-oh. Looks like Nicole Richie’s going to jail for this latest DUI. And just when Joel Madden was getting laid for the first time in three years… [TMZ]

Britney’s new boyfriend can’t get into Hyde. Also, if you’d like to dress up as a douchebag next Halloween, you can pretty much just use the outfit he wore to The Ivy this week. Everyone will totally be like “Oh, I get it. You’re a douchebag.” [Celebitchy]

Katharine McPhee in OK magazine. I don’t know why I love her so much, but I do. [Pop on the Pop]

Jude Law plans to take his children to a South African orphanage for Christmas, to demonstrate that it is better to have a daddy who leaves your mother for a 22-year-old who he then cheats on with the nanny than it is to have no daddy at all. [Junkiness]

It is possible that Paris Hilton does cocaine. And by “possible” I of course mean “more of a sure thing than Tara Reid on St. Patrick’s Day.” [Celebrity Smack]

Finally! Someone moves away from character assassination and just plain attempts to assassinate Janice Dickinson. My money’s on a former Top Model contestant. [Hollyscoop]

TMZ has obtained the audio from Nicole Richie’s DUI arrest early Monday morning. The 911 tape contains not one but two separate motorists calling in to report an SUV driving the wrong way on the Los Feliz on-ramp to the 134. Listen to it here.

Jennifer Aniston leaves an L.A. club through the back door with none other than Kevin Federline. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! [Celebitchy]

Sharon Stone outrages and offends the population of Norway. “Now you know how we feel,” says the population of America. [Perez Hilton]

Pam Anderson got naked in front of a camera, because that’s how she spends her time when she’s not getting married impulsively. [Agent Bedhead]

Since her 2003 arrest for heroin possession, Nicole Richie has apparently lost an inch of height and five pounds. Also, she’s black now. [Mollygood]

Queen Latifah and her girlfriend, trainer Jeanette Jenkins, are reportedly jogging towards splitsville. But, hey, at least she’s jogging. [Bossip]

Paris and Nicky Hilton having an ass-slappin’ good time in the back of a limo. [Egotastic]

Here is the picture that you have been waiting for. Nicole Richie’s mugshot. Now I love celebrity mugshots…love them. I had some moments, before I disovered the beauty of today’s celebrity blogs, that I would spend hours looking through “The Smoking Gun.” My favorite thing about this is how spaced out she looks. The look on her face makes me think this is her train of thought

My daddy’s gonna get you policemen…he wrote lots of famous songs…Paris didn’t get in trouble why should I?…I might be messed up but look my my sideswept bangs…got any coke boys?…I’m famous…and wayyyy skinner that you will ever be…HAHAHAHAAHAH

The girl has had a past of drug abuse and I’m guessing that soon we will see her on the cover of People saying “My Road To Recovery: Nicole Richie Speaks Out About Her Struggle With Drugs.” There will be pictures of her and her dogs playing outside and lots of “I’m really better, promise I am” quotations.

While La Lohan appears to have stepped aboard the sobriety wagon, Miss Nicole Richie has fallen way, way off. Nicole, who has struggled with substance abuse for as long as you’ve heard of her, was arrested for DUI early Monday morning. Her SUV was spotted going the wrong way on the 134 in Burbank. That’s right, folks: it’s not that she was swerving, it’s that she was going the wrong way on the freeway. Two motorists called 911, and, when cops got to Nicole, she was stopped in the carpool lane, talking on her cell phone. She admitted she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot, although a preliminary screening revealed she had not been drinking. Her booking sheet reveals she is 5′1″ and 85 pounds.

Sadly, CHP has decided they won’t be releasing Richie’s mugshot.

Welcome to the celebrity DUI club, Nicole. It’s good to have you.

Update: What was Nicole Richie doing driving through Burbank at 4 o’clock in the morning? Heading back from Glendale, it seems, where new boyfriend Joel Madden lives. (Joel and Hilary Duff broke up, like, 5 minutes ago.) Cute.

After almost days of searching, the paparazzi catch Nicole Richie and Joel Madden together. Take that, Hilary Duff. Now you’re left all alone with your hyper-successful, talent-driven career and your consistently positive media image. They sure showed you. [X17]

Paris. Miami. Stavros. [Hollyscoop]

With Paris Hilton safely on another coast, Lindsay Lohan appears to have put together several days of sobriety. Rock on. [Page Six]

Ellen Pompeo thinks she would look really good if she could just manage to put on five or ten more pounds. I think Ellen Pompeo would look really good with a black eye and a few broken ribs. [A Socialite's Life]

Pics of the Jolie-Pitts, sans Shiloh, in NYC. [Mollygood]

Beyonce’s not the only one pissed that Jennifer Hudson got the role of Effie in Dreamgirls. But at least Fantasia Barrino will cop to it. [Snarky Gossip]

Jennifer Hudson looooooves gay sex now. [A Socialite's Life]

Tom Cruise seems to have figured out that being seen with Oprah Winfrey, under any circumstance, is only going to ignite the batshit-crazy vibe he’d like to quell. [Celebitchy]

Nicole Richie’s snatching up Hilary Duff’s sloppy seconds. [Yeeeah!]

Gwen Stefani: still naming things L.A.M.B. Up now: perfume. [Glitterati]

Live-blogging the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. [Film.com]