During her interview with Diane Sawyer today, Nicole Richie finally confirmed that she’s pregnant.

“Yes, I am. We are. I’m almost four months,” she told Diane. “I have a responsibility and it’s something that I did wrong.”

Okay, okay, she said that last part about her recent DUI, but I just think it’s funnier if you apply it to having sex with Joel Madden. She continues to say that “if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately, I can’t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”

Whatever, Nicole, no one’s even that impressed with your antics anymore. So you popped some Vicodin and got confused about an L.A. freeway on-ramp. I do that at least daily. Lindsay Lohan fucking kidnapped people. You girls need to step up your game, stat. I’m thinking some manner of drug-smuggling ring involving single-mother, illegal immigrants. Who you kidnapped.

The interview with Diane will air on ABC on Thursday and Friday.

Because, you know, when it was just one sex tape and one DUI, it was kind of funny to leave these two alone with small children and farm animals. But now we’re dealing with multiple recorded hours of drug use, racist rants, probable herpes infections, pregnancies out of wedlock, three DUIs and two jail sentences, and all of a sudden no one really wants their kids on TV quite that badly anymore.

First Paris.

Soon Lindsay.

Now Nicole!

When is Britney Spears going to go to jail? She’s the last on the list!

Nicole Richie was sentenced today to spend four days in jail following her DUI last year. This was Nicole’s second DUI, and the minimum sentence in California is five days in jail. However, Nicole was given a full day of credit for the six hours she spent in the slammer after her arrest.

The pregnant Nicole is due in January. Sources say that it is unlikely she will be forced to spend time in jail before she gives birth.

So what gives? Paris gets 45 days in jail for driving on a suspended license, and Nicole gets four days for her second DUI? I guess it all depends on the judge …

Nicole Richie has won this round.

Nicole’s DUI trial was supposed to start today, but her lawyer effectively petitioned to have the trial date pushed back until August, when an expert witness would be available to testify. The expert witness, Dr. Terence McGee, will testify that urinalysis results are an inaccurate way to do drug testing, and that the cops should have used blood testing instead (notwithstanding the fact that Nicole admitted her drug use).

The new court date is August 16. Richie is currently around three months pregnant, so I’m sure it’s very important to her that she not do jail time for this offense, her second DUI in California.

After everything Paris Hilton just went through, you’d think Nicole Richie would just shut up and play nice with the court system, but no such luck. Nicole announced in mid-June that she was going to fight her DUI charge, and her trial was supposed to start tomorrow, but her lawyer showed up at an L.A. courthouse today to ask that the trial be postponed until August 5. Why? Well, Dr. Terence McGee, a nationally recognized expert on drug testing, can’t testify until August. Is Nicole going to contest the results of the drug testing? I think mostly they’re just doing everything in their power to push this thing back so that Nicole doesn’t have to give birth in jail. At any rate, the commissioner (What’s a commissioner? Why isn’t it a judge? Legal people, help!) said he would not make a ruling, and ordered both parties back in court tomorrow morning, which is when the trial is scheduled to begin.

Meanwhile, Nicole flew off to Canada yesterday (hiding her face and belly with a pillow as she walked through LAX) to hang out with Joel Madden while he plays a show there, but perhaps she should consider boarding a plane back home tonight. Or are we going to have to extradite her?

So every celeb weekly keeps getting the “inside scoop” about Nicole Richie’s pregnancy. Now US is jumping on the bandwagon saying for sure that she is knocked up with the Madden spawn.

She is set to face a judge on July 11th after her second DUI. If found guilty she faces from 90 days to 1 year in jail. Even if she is pregnant she would go to jail and could quite possibly give birth in a city hospital.

Joel Madden is planning on making an honest woman out of Nicole. Hopefully he also feeds her some burgers as well. I did notice after watching a few episodes of the most-recent “Simple Life” that she is eating ALL THE TIME while doing the show. Now she is knocked up. Interesting.

Still waiting for the statements from both Christina and Nicole’s camp actually confirming that they are both preggers.

Fuck. Me.

If Nicole thinks this shit is getting her out of jail time, she’s dead wrong.

So everyone and their little sister mag has decided to announce today that they’ve “independently confirmed” that Nicole’s pregnant, and word on the street is that she and Joel will be getting married this summer (isn’t this fun, Hilary?). She kept the pregnancy a “secret” for the first three months (and she’s stayed uncharacteristically far from the spotlight for most of that time), but she’s now telling friends.

I could be an ass about this, but I’m not going to be. If this is your decision, Nicole, I wish you all the best. Please stay sober and please stay healthy.