Can we issue a warrant for the arrest of Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylist?  Her Grammy ensemble left me dumb and blind for several minutes.

Also behind the scenes at the Grammy Awards, Nicole Kidman’s facial muscles have left the building, Queen Latifah is still working on her healthy weight, Leann Rimes’ husband struck the “Yes, she’s pregnant!” pose,  and Katy Perry’s performance dress completely cancels out all the positive that had been accomplished by her red carpet look.

“People are spending too much time modeling for some fucking clothing company instead of acting, and I resent it.  It’s like, ‘Are you going to do the Chanel ad today? I thought you were in the middle of shooting a fucking movie.’”

Sean Penn in a Rolling Stone interview, expressing his disgust towards actors who aren’t focused on their craft.  Pictured above, receiving his Oscar a few years back from Nicole Kidman, his co-star in the 2005 movie The Interpreter.  Oh, and former Chanel model.

Australia was an epic fail.  As if you needed further encouragement to wait for it to come out on Netflix, even Nicole Kidman thought it was a bad movie.  Yeah, she squirmed through watching this thing.  In a radio interview she admitted that sitting in a theater, and watching her performance in Australia, made her flee the country.

She said she was so nervous about her performance that she fled Australia as soon as the premiere was over with her husband and their five-month-old daughter Sunday Rose.

“We ran because I didn’t want to read anything. I didn’t want to know.”

I hate to break this to Nic, but there are scathing critics in every country.

“People are going to see Nicole playing it and think it’s all right. It bastardizes our culture. I will guarantee she has no more children. It is not meant to be played by women as it will make them barren.”

Award-winning actor, screenwriter and Aboriginal language teacher Richard Green, to the Sydney Morning Herald, regarding Nicole Kidman playing a didgeridoo while promoting her latest movie on a German television show. Among Aboriginal Australians, there is a strong taboo against women playing the instrument.

Give the lady a break! She was married to Tom Cruise for years. At this point, she’s just happy to put her mouth on any cylindrical object that doesn’t close its eyes and call her Frank.

Nicole Kidman’s acting talent knows no bounds.  She won an Academy Award for playing Virginia Woolf in The Hours.  She was virtually unrecognizable in that movie.  Now she’s filming The Danish Girl where she plays the first post-op transsexual.  This chick is always choosing projects that really challenge and stretch her abilities.  Here is Nicole in her newest role portraying a car seat.  She’s amazing; she can play anything.

We all know that Australia isn’t going to be winning all (or any!) of the Oscars they’d hoped for, so Nicole Kidman decided instead to dress up like a ridiculous gold statue at the Australia premiere in Madrid.

This look could have worked, I think, if she’d paired it with simple black shoes and maybe a different necklace, but it’s kind of blinding and silly the way it is.

At the Australia premiere in NYC.

Homegirl’s shit is seriously froze over.

Which is ironic, because she looks like hell.