Paris and Nicky Hilton paint the town pink on Sunday night in Malibu.

And I included the second photo because it really does look like a single one of Paris’s feet is like twice the size of her head and her huge boat feet make me laugh. I bet if there were plastic surgery to get your feet made smaller, Paris Hilton would do it. I bet Paris looks at pictures of those little girls in Asia with the bound feet and is all like, “OMG those girls are soooo lucky. I wish someone had done that for me.”

So, yeah, Nicky Hilton’s spring collection hit the runway last night, and it’s all good and well that she’s creating a viable career and working hard at something that actually contributes something substantial to our culture as a whole, but forget all that: let’s talk about her eating disorder.

“There’s no truth to any starvation, eating disorders, rumors,” she told People magazine at her show last night. “I think the press has been printing a lot of pictures of me from unflattering angles … My friends see the pictures and they’re like ‘Oh my god are you okay?’ And then they see me, and they’re like ‘Oh … ‘ It’s really not that interesting or true.”

I know I’m a part of the Big Bad Media Machine, but I have to look at this and laugh. I’m sure Nicky’s busted her butt creating this line, but the story we all want to write is about her potential eating disorder. We’re all so disturbed.

Oh, and also, Nicky: the angles that make you look anorexic? Most celebs would consider those the flattering angles, my dear.

WELCOME TO 2008, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

OMG, you guys, I had so much fun last night.

The party at Republic was a blast, and many thanks to Luke and the guys at USA4Real for putting together an amazing group of live bands and a kickass party.

Oh, and I chatted with Brittny Gastineau. For the second time this month. And she was really nice, per usual, and I felt like a huge ass, again, for all the shit I talk about her on here. I’ll have pics later tonight or tomorrow, whenever my girls send them along.

I also hung out for a bit with Sarah Welch, the gorgeous model who infamously fell through a hole on the runway at the Shadang show, and I have to tell you guys that she is an absolute sweetheart, and is able to have a great sense of humor about it, and it’s way less funny and way more sad once you’ve met her. It’s much easier to think of models as haughty bitches who deserve that shit, but she was anything but. She also has the most ridiculously amazing body and I can’t even hate her for it, she was that sweet.

Also there: MELROSE! From ANTM! But I didn’t get to chat with her. And Kevin Pollak. And a dude who looked EXACTLY like Adrian Grenier — I got all excited — but it wasn’t him.

Anyway.

Here’s Paris and Nicky hosting at a club in Vegas.

Posting will resume as normal on Wednesday.

Nicky Hilton was on board to host at PURE last night, and Orange Paris came along for the ride, and decided to give the paps an impromptu photo shoot.

I swear in one of these pictures it looks like she’s posing while in line for the bathroom.

This is kind of random, but whenever people find out what I do for a living, they regale me with their celeb encounter stories. I particularly enjoy this when these storytellers begin by acting disdainful about what I do for a living, and mention repeatedly that they “don’t care about that stupid shit” and “celebrities are no different from us” and then talk animatedly for the next thirty minutes about every celebrity they’ve ever seen. Anyway, one especially annoying guy told me recently that he was at a Vegas nightclub with Paris, and they wouldn’t let her cut in line to use the bathroom, so she just squatted down and peed on the dance floor. Don’t know if it’s true or not, but I wouldn’t put it past her.

Katie Cassidy — who turned 21 late last month — showed up to the Foley + Corinna Los Angeles store opening, along with Nicky Hilton, Kristen Cavallari and, my personal fave, Marla Sokoloff (Remember when she was on Full House? Anyone?).

Katie was arrested for underage drinking last month, just days before her 21st birthday.

I cannot wait to see what happens with this girl now that she’s legal.

Nicky Hilton and her boyfriend, David Katzenberg, leave a surf shop in LA on Saturday.

I have to say, Nicky looks great lately. She was too skinny for awhile, but now she looks perfect, and I dig her fashion sense, too.

I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.

Seriously, I’ve been sitting on these pictures all morning like, “I really don’t want to run these. Please let something happen. I really don’t want to have to run these.” But nothing has happened, guys, so I’m sorry.

Here’s Paris and Nicky tooling around Japan. They’re promoting some line of handbags and, tragically, helping to choose the new Miss Japan. Which is totally appropriate, because if anyone’s in a position to select the woman who best represents the culture and background of Japan, it’s someone who thinks a kamikaze is a shot they serve at Les Deux.

In fact, I am so annoyed with this whole story that I almost didn’t notice that Paris is dressed like a 5-year-old on Easter. I mean, there’s fashion-forward, and then there’s pink fucking tights, Paris.

And I like how all the pictures from this event are taken from, like, two feet off the ground, looking up. Are the Japanese really that short?

Okay, I’ll stop now. Back to hunting for stories.

Paris and Nicky Hilton arrive at Narita airport. They’re in Japan to promote Samantha Thavasa handbags.

At least they’re out of the States! They’re your problem now, Asia!!!