They are remaking Dirty Dancing, and Mario Lopez is on the short list of celebs to star in the Patrick Swayze role, and still I wait, patient and hopeful, for my Lark Voorhies comeback. [ICYDK]

The Anna Nicole saga continues. This week, she’s worried her son is sad in the afterlife, because “he doesn’t know anybody.” [Junkiness]

Courtney Love is finding it hard to get laid in sobriety. [MollyGood]

Check out the first single from AmIdol’s Chris Daughtry, “It’s Not Over.” Honestly, an AmIdol fourth-placer is calling his first single “It’s Not Over.” I can’t even pick a joke. [Tabloid Whore]

The Los Angeles Galaxy wants to sign David Beckham if he doesn’t renew his contract with Real Madrid. [BBC Sport]

Is Nick Lachey planning to propose to Vanessa Minnillo on his birthday this Thursday? For the sake of Friday’s blogging, please let it be so! [Hollyscoop]

No, not like that.

I have no idea why it’s clips day today, but it is. I found this old MadTV parody of Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica on Wampoon, and I’m posting it because:

a) It’s really funny.
b) Jessica Alba looks hot in it, and I’ve heard that all three of the heterosexual male readers of this site enjoy looking at Jessica Alba, particularly when she looks hot.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_PNxaqjJlA">

I hate to admit it, but I actually kind of like Jess’s new song, “I Belong to Me,” and I’m digging the video. The emotions look real, and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear she spent a lot of the days on the set crying real tears. It’s the first time in a long time I’ve been able to look at her as an actual person, and get a sense of the hell she’s been through this year. It’s a positive message, and she carries it well. Props, Jess.

Nick’s isn’t bad, either, although it sounds more manufactured than Jess’s, and I am really, really over beach videos. Like, waves crashing? Clouds in fast-mo? Hey Nick, can you give me more generic? Oh! Sitting on a jagged rock, staring out into the water? Perfect. You forgot to intersperse it with shots of yourself sucking on a mic in a recording studio, but beyond that, genius.

And they both used muted colors. Oh, the angst.