WARNING: If you play the above video, you may immediately experience feelings of nausea, dizziness and nostalgia for the one time you had a tooth drilled to this song.

All these decade-end wrap ups are coming our way, and man are they depressing. You won’t even believe some of the crap the last decade has pumped out. Upon reading and then re-reading Billboard Magazine’s Top One Hit Wonders of the 2000s-list to be sure that I read correctly the first time, I realize now why the majority of my iPod is filled with 90s jams and the few bands that have made it past the one-or-two hit wonder mark this decade. Check out this list (videos here) and try not to start crying for humanity at your desk:

1. Daniel Powter
BAD DAY
Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day” was used as the kiss-off song for the 5th season of “American Idol,” which gave the song enough juice to become the biggest single of 2006. The song went to No. 1 in April and stayed at the top for five weeks. But Powter’s good fortune didn’t last long; he hasn’t visited the Hot 100 since.

2. Terror Squad
LEAN BACK
Terror Squad, the hip-hop collective led by Fat Joe, tore up the charts in August 2004 with “Lean Back,” giving the world a new dance craze in the process. The Squad fell back hard after that, only reaching as high as No. 62 with a subsequent single: “Take Me Home,” at the end of 2004.

3. Crazy Town
BUTTERFLY
L.A. rap-rockers Crazy Town flew to the top of the charts with the Red Hot Chili Peppers infused track “Butterfly” in March 2001, and hovered there for two weeks. The band’s wings were clipped after reaching that peak; they never saw the Hot 100 again

4. MIMS
THIS IS WHY I’M HOT
MIMS told the world “This Is Why I’m Hot,” and sizzled at the no. 1 spot for two weeks in March 2007. The Jamaican rapper’s next single, July 2007’s “Like This,” only went as high as No. 32. Not quite as hot.

5. D4L
LAFFY TAFFY
Atlanta’s D4L hit a sweet spot with “Laffy Taffy” in January 2006, when the song peaked at no. 1. The foursome only made it to no. 72 with their next single “Betcha Can’t Do It Like Me.”

6. James Blunt
YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL
James Blunt sweet-talked his way to No. 1 with the inescapable ballad “You’re Beautiful” in March 2006. But fans dropped him soon after; his appropriately titled next single, “Goodbye My Lover,” only reached No. 66.

7. Gnarls Barkley
CRAZY
“Crazy” was such a gargantuan smash, it felt like Gnarls Barkley’s spell would never wear off. But after peaking at No. 2 in July 2006, Ceee-Lo and Dangermouse haven’t made it past No. 88 with their subsequent singles. Crazy, indeed.

8.Blu Cantrell
HIT ‘EM UP STYLE (OOPS!)
Blu Cantrell struck gold with “Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!),” which reached the No. 2 position in July 2001. Since then, she’s only climbed as high as No. 70, with “Breathe” in 2003. Oops!

9. Bo Bice
INSIDE YOUR HEAVEN
Bo Bice won the hearts of “American Idol” viewers with “Inside Your Heaven” in July 2005. After the cameras turned off, voters quickly tuned out. His next highest-charting single, “The Real Thing,” peaked at No. 56 in May 2006.

10. Dream
HE LOVES U NOT
Dream lived up to their name with “He Loves U Not,” which climbed to No. 2 in December 2000. After that, the manufactured girl group woke up and only rose to No. 39 with their next single, “This Is Me,” in the summer of 2001.

11. J-Kwon
TIPSY
J-Kwon intoxicated the airwaves with “Tipsy,” scoring him the No. 2 spot in April 2004. He hasn’t stumbled as high on his own since, but he did ride Bow Wow’s coattails to No. 23 in April 2006 with the collaboration “Fresh Azimiz.”

12. Cassie
ME & U
Cassie strutted to No. 3 with “Me & U” in July 2006, but she floundered with “Long Way 2 Go,” which only peaked at No. 97. She’s been a no-show on the charts ever since.

13.Lou Bega
MAMBO NO. 5 (A LITTLE BIT OF…)
Lou Bega’s ubiquitous “Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of)” climbed to No. 3 in November 1999, and stuck around for months after peaking. But Bega hasn’t flirted with the charts much since; his next-highest charting single, “Tricky, Tricky,” only reached no. 74 in February 2000.

14. Lil’ Romeo
MY BABY
Cute and cuddle Lil Romero skipped all the way to No. 3 in June 2001 with “My Baby.” But puberty didn’t do the pint-sized rapper well; none of his solo singles have even touched the Hot 100 since</b>

15. Lumidee
NEVER LEAVE YOU – UH OOH, UH OOOH!
Lumidee promised to “Never Leave You” with her first single in August 2003. She didn’t keep her word. Outside of a No. 43 appearance in April 2007 with “She’s Like The Wind” featuring Tony Sunshine, she hasn’t visited the chart since.

16. Hinder
LIPS OF AN ANGEL
With “Lips of an Angel,” Hinder soared to the No. 3 spot in October 2006. The band fell from grace shortly thereafter, only soaring as high as No. 31 with “Better Than Me” in May 2007.

17. Kevin Lyttle feat. Spragga Benz
TURN ME ON
In August 2004, Kevin Lyttle, with help from Spragga Benz, lit up the charts with “Turn Me On.” The airwaves have since turned him off, and the Caribbean crooner has yet to return to the Hot 100.

18. Youngbloodz feat. Lil Jon
DAMN!
Youngbloodz teamed up with Lil Jon on “Damn!,” which rose to No. 4 in November 2003. The Hotlanta duo had much to curse about after that; they didn’t go nearly as high with their next biggest hit; “Presidential” peaked at No. 81 in November 2005.

19. Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook
WHERE’D YOU GO
It’s a good thing Mike Shinoda has Linkin Park to fall back on. Fort Minor, his musical side project, started big, reaching No. 2 with “Where’d You Go” in June 2006. Fans have been asking the same question since then; the band’s next biggest hit, “Remember the Name,” peaked at No. 66. three months later.

20. Samantha Mumba
GOTTA TELL YOU
Irish singer Samantha Mumba rose to No. 4 on the Hot 100 with “Gotta Tell You” in December 2000. The airwaves refused to listen after that; her next-biggest single, “Baby, Come Over (This Is Our Night)” only climbed to No. 49 in June 2001.

21. Cassidy feat. R. Kelly
HOTEL
Cassidy went all the way to No. 4 in March 2004 with “Hotel,” featuring R. Kelly. But the Philly rapper checked out of the chart shortly thereafter, only making it as high as No. 33 with “My Drink N’ My 2 Step” three years later.

22. Macy Gray
I TRY
Macy Gray blew up in May 2000 when her debut single, “I Try,” went to No. 5. But believe it or not, the husky-voiced diva has not appeared on the Hot 100 since!

23. The Calling
WHEREVER YOU WILL GO
In March 2002, L.A. rockers the Calling reached their highest high when their single “Wherever You Will Go” peaked at No. 5. The band has not come calling back to the charts since.

24. Vanessa Carlton
A THOUSAND MILES
Vanessa Carlton wooed listeners in May 2002, when her piano ballad “A Thousand Miles” hit No. 5. Five months later, she was back on the Hot 100 with “Ordinary Day,” but the song — her second-biggest single — barely cracked the Top 30.

25. Ruff Endz
NO MORE
Baltimore R&B duo Ruff Endz went all the way to No. 5 with “No More” in September 2000. But the group never saw the top 10 again after that; they only reached No. 49 with “Someone to Love You” in June 2002.

26. Eiffel 65
BLUE (DA BA DEE)
Italian dance trio Eiffel 65, whose name was generated at random by a computer program, peaked at No. 6 with the über-catchy “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” in January 2000. They’ve been blue ever since, as they did not see the Hot 100 for the rest of the decade, even as Flo Rida took his “Blue”-sampling hit “Sugar” all the way to No. 5.

27. Rich Boy feat. Polow Da Don
THROW SOME D’s
Alabama rapper Rich Boy went all the way to No. 6 on March 31, 2007 with “Throw Some D’s.” He ran out of steam after reaching that peak, and hasn’t returned to the chart since.

28. Nick Lachey
WHAT’S LEFT OF ME
In May 2006, sympathetic fans helped Nick Lachey go to No. 6 with his post-98 Degrees solo single, “What’s Left of Me,” a song about his dissolved relationship with Jessica Simpson. But when the drama cooled, fans stopped caring; later that year his next song, “I Can’t Hate You Anymore” — his second-biggest — only climbed to No. 87.

29. Tweet
OOPS (OH MY)
In May 2002, Missy Elliott and Timbaland introduced the airwaves to Tweet, whose song “Oops (Oh My)” peaked at No. 7. But Tweet only made a peep on the charts after that with “Call Me,” which limped to No. 31 a month later.

30. Hurricane Chris
A BAY BAY
Louisiana’s Hurricane Chris climbed to No. 7 on the Hot 100 with “A Bay Bay” in July 2007. He specifically cat-called “Halle Berry” on his next-biggest single with far less success; the song only went to No. 52 in June 2009.

31. Jibbs
CHAIN HANG LOW
Jibbs’ ode to bling climbed all the way to No. 7 in October 2006. But the shine didn’t last long; the rapper only made it as high as No. 54 with his next tune, “King Kong,” five months later.

32. Sonique
IT FEELS SO GOOD
In April 2000, Sonique went to No. 8 with her upbeat jam, “It Feels So Good.” But the British pop diva hasn’t felt so great since; nearly 10 years later, she has yet to appear on the chart again.

33. DJ Sammy & Yanou feat. Do
HEAVEN
Spanish producer DJ Sammy floated to No. 8 on the Hot 100 in August 2002 with his remake of Bryan Adams’ “Heaven.” He continued to chart in other countries with his remakes of songs like “Everybody Hurts” and “The Boys of Summer,” but none of them cracked the U.S. Hot 100.

34. Eden’s Crush
GET OVER YOURSELF
Eden’s Crush, featuring a young Nicole Scherzinger, peaked at No. 8 in March 2001 with “Get Over Yourself,” after the girl group’s formation was chronicled on the WB reality series “Popstars.” But the Crush were no Pussycat Dolls — the gals never made it back on the charts.

35. D.H.T.
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Belgian dance act D.H.T. debuted at No. 8 on the Hot 100 in August 2005 with their remake of Roxette’s “Listen to Your Heart.” People stopped listening after that, and they have not been seen on the charts since.

36. Truth Hurts Feat. Rakim
ADDICTIVE
Truth Hurts began her career with the help of rap legend Dr. Dre, and “Addictive,” her single with Rakim, peaked at No. 9 in June 2002. But not even those heavyweights could give the St. Louis singer a lasting career: she hasn’t charted on the Hot 100 since then.

37. Kevon Edmonds
24/7
Kevon Edmonds, brother of Babyface, peaked at No. 10 with his single “24/7″ in December 1999. But unlike his famous little bro, Kevon stayed absent from the chart for the entirety of the 2000s

38. S Club 7
NEVER HAD A DREAM COME TRUE
S Club 7, the British pop group created by Simon Fuller of “American Idol” fame, crashed onto the U.S. chart with “Never Had a Dream Come True” in May 2001. Though wildly successful in other parts of the world, they never made a blip on the American charts again.

39. Young Dro feat. T.I.
SHOULDER LEAN
T.I. protégé Young Dro reached No. 10 in August 2006 with “Shoulder Lean.” Sadly, none of the solo singles that followed cause as much of a craze.

Daniel Powter?!? Number one!?!?! What!? Where is that “Fuck you you ho, I don’t want you back” song that that dude Eamon sang? I could use a little of that on this list. And why is Tweet so low? Surly that masturbation anthem should be higher on the list. I mean, Tweet used to hang out with Missy E. Who has Daniel Powter ever hung out with? His parents? Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles”? I feel like I still hear that song every single day at some point. How is she so low on the list and “Had a Bad Day” is number one?

Look, no 9/11 jokes, but it’s really clear to me after looking at this list that we, as a people, MUST have gone through SOMETHING in order to warrant this kind of horrible taste in music. Let’s take the next decade a lot more seriously, folks. This is DIRE.

Courtesy of Life&Style.com

I woke up a little bit ago to see that Life & Style has “photographic evidence” that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are back together. Eh, if this was a picture of the two of them dry humping and feeling each other up in a booth, I might be more inclined to jump on board. On the other hand, supposedly the two were “canoodling” and “left together”, as well.

All of that sounds like friendly ex behavior to me, but at the same time, I can’t really imagine that either one of them has been up to much since their split, so getting back together does seem to make a little sense. To be perfectly honest, these two always seemed to work together as a couple for me. Neither is particularly successful, both are boring as hell and they each have that “Go, America!” vibe about them. I feel like if they were to get hitched, they’d make good-looking babies and fade in to obscurity really quickly…

Hey, now that I think about it, the these cats getting back together wouldn’t be half bad…

As a child who grew up watching The Love Boat, I’m a really big fan of the completely illogical and seemingly impossible reunion that unfolds against the backdrop of the Aloha deck.  Alas, it is not to be for Jessica and Nick.

I never understood why these two split in the first place — this picture was taken nine days before they announced that they were divorcing — but apparently they won’t be doing lunch, even though Nick is recently single and Jessica was unceremoniously dumped by Dallas quarterback Tony Romo.

“I think it’s fun storytelling, but there’s very little truth to any of it,” the singer told PEOPLE at a party at Dusk at the Caesars Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City Saturday night. “I certainly have heard about her breakup and I wish her the best, as I’ve always done. Aside from that, there really is nothing to say.” 

So has he reached out to his ex-wife since her sudden split with Tony Romo? “I haven’t talked to her in probably two years,” Lachey says. “I wish her happiness. That’s where it pretty much ends.” 

You know what wording I find very curious?  ”…but there’s very little truth to it.”  Just enough of a window to keep my hope alive.  Just enough of a window to keep media interested in anything Nick Lachey might have to say.

I remember the very first time I realized that Topher was a nickname for “Christopher.” Like, you just take the second half of the name instead of using “Chris.” That was an exciting moment for me. I felt like a genius. Like the time I realized the Wiltern got its name because it’s on the corner of Wilshire and Western. That was a big moment too. It’s hard to feel smart in a world filled with Bill Gateses and Stephen Hawkings, but somehow I seem to manage.

Anyway. Vanessa Minnillo is managing, too. She and Nick Lachey may be recently dunzo, but she’s in no hurry to quit theceleb dating scene. Radar spotted her sucking face with Spiderman 3 star Topher Grace at a recent party at Seth MacFarlane’s house:

Topher then started rubbing her arm, and Vanessa whispered in his ear and they exchanged phone numbers.

Before long they were on the dance floor and putting the “dirty” in dirty dancing. Vanessa took off her shoes and held them in one hand, wrapping her other arm around Topher’s neck and the next thing we knew she was kissing him on the neck!

In a bit of perfect timing the DJ spun ‘Sex on Fire’ by Kings of Leon and Vanessa turned her back to Topher, and did a super hot grind/dance while he played with her hair. The music switched to The Jackson Five’s ‘ABC’ and that’s when Vanessa and Nick, er Topher, (sorry, it’s so hard to make the transition, for us, not her) starting MAKING OUT right on the dance floor!

Total rebound relationship. I wonder who Nick Lachey will be hitting up now. Anyone have guesses?

It would be fun to analyze the body language shown in this seven-day-old picture of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo if I wasn’t already aware of the fact that they just split.  It seems like they’ve been doing that for the entire three years they’ve been dating, but now it’s official and confirmed by her publicist.

It was only three weeks ago that Vanessa was talking about the 10 carat diamond she wanted and reassuring everyone that her relationship with Lachey was on solid ground.  I’m convinced that was what woke Nick up out of his three-year rebound haze.

How long until we see Nick with a Playmate of the Month perched on his lap?

I guess the way it works now is this:  If you’re famous and want to get married, take it to the media.  Jennifer Loved All My Fiances Hewitt issued the public ultimatum and now Vanessa Minnillo is trying the same pressure tactics.

Minnillo, and I like to call her Mannillo Wafer for no other reason than it makes me happy, talked with Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous dude, Robin Leach about the big five-carat diamond she has on her middle finger.  She’s very subtle:

“We’re still together,” she said emphatically.” He would have been here with me, but he had to attend a best friend’s 40th birthday party. So once again it looks as if I’m always the bridesmaid but never the bride. However, this romance is still going strong. There will always be rumblings and rumors that we’ve broken up, but in fact, it’s very much still on — and it keeps on getting better. Maybe this will be the one time I wind up the bride instead of the bridesmaid!”

As if to underscore that point, she showed me the 5-karat diamond ring she was wearing on her left hand! It’s on the middle finger though, and she laughed: “It will be 10 carats when it moves to the fourth finger!”

So there ya go!  Vanessa and Nick are still together — I was very worried about their status — and she’s a materialistic wench who won’t settle for less than a 10-carat diamond.  Snatch her up Nick…she sounds like a real prize.

“I wish her nothing but the best and I hope she’s happy — whatever size that comes in.”

ZING!

Nick Lachey weighs in — ha ha no pun intended — on the media frenzy surrounding his ex-wife Jessica Simpson’s weight gain.

Just to highlight exactly how big a deal this has become, our very own President made a comment on it during his Matt Lauer interview for the Super Bowl pre-game broadcast. The clip is below. Watch it now — it’ll be pulled soon.