Nothing makes me happier than seeing hot men projected as sexy pieces of meat.

So I’m pretty thrilled with this new Nelly ad for Sean John.

“To me, Nelly is the quintessential definition of the Sean John man,” says Diddy. “And let’s be honest, all of the ladies out there are going to be thanking us for this campaign.”

Yes indeed.

Thank you, Diddy.

But next time let’s do this shot without the underwear, k? You can just have someone draw your logo onto his wee-wee with marker. And by “someone” I of course mean “me.”

The singer turned 27 on October 13, and celebrated in Atlanta with pals Nelly and Jermaine Dupri.

Wow, 27 whole years without a DUI, a crotch shot or a SCRAM bracelet. And somewhere in all that legal, respectable activity, she managed to win a Grammy and be the first female to have three singles in the Billboard Hot 100 in the same week.

Tragically, this means the only time we write about her is on her birthday.

Oh well. Still better than jail. Or is it?