Natalie Portman was arrested early on the morning of December 26 when she drove her car right off PCH and into a Malibu home. She blew a 0.28 and called the arresting officer the n-word. is designing a line of motherfucking vegan shoes.

In collaboration with Te Casan, Portman has designed a collection of vegan-friendly shoes that will debut at the brand’s New York boutique in February 2008.

When is this girl going to do something wrong???? How can one person be so damn flawless?

Damn you, Natalie Portman. Damn you and your do-gooding.

And what exactly makes a pair of shoes vegan?? The shoes have no eggs in them? Yay! I hate it when there’s egg in my shoe. Squish squish.

“I’m not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it. … Committing yourself to one person is sacred.”

Natalie Portman, to InStyle magazine.

Does anyone out there not like Natalie Portman?

Dissenters, we want to hear from you!

“Math was one of my favorite subjects at school. It always gets a bad rap and I’m not sure why… Sure you need to use math daily for knowing how much tip to leave at a restaurant or how much flour you need to make double the amount of cookies in a recipe, but it is the less obvious practical parts of math that are most fun for me - like considering the principles of infinity. It made me excited about life to consider the limitlessness of the mind and what we can do with it.”

Natalie Portman, who is the guest editor for an upcoming issue of the magazine Scholastic Math.

The song doesn’t start until 1:25 in, and Portman is a ghost. The song, if I understand it correctly, is about “everybody dancing around tonight, everybody feeling allright.”

At 4:28 in things get very strange.

You got me.

At the Yves Saint Laurent after-party in NYC.

Natalie Portman showed up on ABC’s “This Week” to endorse extending microloans to women in the poorest countries.

“They’re able to get a loan and start their own business out of their own house and be with their children,” she said. “It changes the whole system. If a woman can’t tell her child, ‘I can feed you tomorrow, I can pay for your school,’ then where do they go? What do they do? What do they choose? It’s really trying to reach the poorest of the poor and offering banking services to them.”

Natalie has been working with FINCA International, an organization that provides small loans to people in developing countries.

Microloans are loans in very small amounts — in developing countries, often only a couple hundred dollars — which traditional banks won’t offer, both due to the small amount and the lack of credit history of the borrowers. FINCA, which lends primarily to women in 21 developing nations, has a loan repayment rate of 97%.

• Is Natalie Portman dating British billionaire Nat Rotschild? Say it ain’t so!
• Mary-Kate Olsen is totally her new boyfriend’s Mini Me.
• While taping Oprah on Wednesday, Jennfer Aniston claims she and Vince Vaughn have not broken up, but also notes that they’re not engaged. Um, did anyone mention to Ms. Aniston that there are pictures of the man she’s not broken up with making out with a woman who’s not her floating all over the Internet?
• I’d be excited to run into Counting Crows’ Adam Duritz pretty much anywhere, with the exception being on my boyfriend’s back. (In tattoo form.)
• I haven’t written much (read: anything) about the YouTube channel Diddy started with Burger King; while I consider myself Web 2.0-savvy, I have to admit, I just don’t understand how it could possibly work. I feel a little better about that, now, because neither does most of the country.
• Premiere Magazine lists The 50 Biggest Hollywood Disasters, for your trainwreck-viewing pleasure.