Archive for the ‘Natalie Portman’ Category

You Guys, I Found a Semi-Bad Photo of Natalie Portman

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Natalie Portman's Only Bad Photo Ever

I genuinely didn’t think it was possible. Literally the way I found it was by obsessively going through like 50 photos of her at the press call for her new movie, Brothers, thinking to myself, “I wonder if any of these photos of her are bad. Can Natalie Portman take a bad photo? It may not be physically possible.” And then I stumbled on this one and I was like, “Oh, okay, that’s a kind of bad photo.” Don’t worry, though, all the rest of them in the gallery below are freakin’ perfect. Sigh.

Natalie Portman Thinks Eating Animals is Just as Bad as Rape

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

90308MX9_PORTMAN_N_B_GR_13

Natalie Portman wrote a piece for the Huffington Post about her devout vegetarianism and credited “Eating Animals” by Jonathan Safran Foer as a major part of her inspiration to go vege. Well, Miss Thang is raising a lot of eyebrows with her controversial and PETA-like approach to her defense of the lifestyle, most specifically when she compared eating meat to rape. Two choice quotes from the piece are right here:

“I’m often interrogated about being vegetarian (e.g., ‘What if you find out that carrots feel pain, too? Then what’ll you eat?’ ).  I’ve also been afraid to feel as if I know better than someone else—a historically dangerous stance (I’m often reminded that ‘Hitler was a vegetarian, too, you know.’ ) But this book reminded me that some things are just wrong.”

And of course, the doozy:

“He posits that consideration…which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don’t believe in rape, but if that’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it).”

I really despise when vegetarians take this approach to explaining their lifestyle. Shaming people in to converting to an animal-free diet is no way to go about it, and comparing the consumption of animals bred for eating purposes to rape? Well, that’s pretty low, not to mention extremely unfair. While it’s one thing to want to drive your point home, this approach seems immature and quite simply designed to trigger disgust and guilt in the reader. It could be an effective approach, but is it honest or fair? Not really.

Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman Have “Angry, Agressive Sex”

Saturday, August 22nd, 2009

Mila Kunis

Add this to the “must see” list of every living being with functioning genitalia. In the upcoming movie, Black Swan– a movie in which a “ballerina competes against a rival dancer who may or may not be another version of herself”– co-stars Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman share a sex scene. And not just any sex scene. According to script review website Scriptshadow, it’s an “ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive, angry” sex scene.

There’s no word yet as to whether or not the scene will include nudity. But given her past film experiences, I’d say Nat’s not afraid to show a little bush.

The film is due to be released sometime in 2010. Clips of  the Portman and Kunis sex scene are due to be leaked on the internet about 5 hours afterward.

Why Do People Date Sean Penn?

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Sean Penn Dating Natalie Portman Caused Robin Wright Penn Divorce

Ew. Just, ew. Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn’s divorce was finalized just last week, and it looks like part of the reason for the second split was because Sean just couldn’t keep his fingers out of the Natalie Portman honeypot. The two are rumored to have dated before, but sources now say that they have been back together since mid-March, and Sean’s blatant infidelity was the final straw.

Star Magazine reports that the two have been together ever since March 17th, when they were spotted making out at Sunset Tower Hotel’s Tower Bar.

A source tells the magazine, “She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally. There’s a lot more there with Natalie than any of the other girls Sean’s been with.”

Looks like  Wendie’s hopes for a Sean and Madonna revival are not going to be realized.

Another Natalie Portman Funny or Die Video

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

It’s not really all that funny, but we’re running it because a) Everyone loves Natalie Portman and b) There is a very very cute dog in the video and c) Natalie’s support of micro-finance is awesome and micro-finance is important and potentially world-changing and you should all learn more about it.

Natalie Portman Looks Cold

Friday, November 21st, 2008

Anyone wanna volunteer to warm her up?

On location in NYC for the film Love and Other Impossible Pursuits.

PUPPIES!!!

Monday, October 20th, 2008

See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die

Puppies make everything okay. Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones in bed together doesn’t hurt either.

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