After years of hucking Blackberries at anyone who crossed her, it seems that supermodel Naomi Campbell is focused on sobriety.  In a new interview with Giant magazine, the glamazon reflects, “There comes a point when it all catches up with you and you have to deal with it. And that caused me to reassess myself and get real treatment for my anger and my addictions. Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I’ve finally come to realize that for me, it’s all or nothing—and it has to be nothing.  I’m in The Program, and I’m proud to be.  I’m not able to drink alcohol. My body cannot handle it. The discipline of The Program has helped me in other parts of my day-to-day life…I wish I knew about it earlier, but I found out about it when I did, and life is good.”

Good for Naomi.  I’m glad the thirty-nine year-old has clarity and I hope she sticks with it.  Also, it would be great if she could give Lindsay a call.  And Lily.  And Amy.

Apparently she hasn’t chucked a cell phone at him yet, because Naomi Campbell was spotted in San Tropez with her new man, Brazilian businessman Marcus Elias.

I keep wanting to call this guy Marcus Aurelius. I can’t believe I even remember the name Marcus Aurelius. My ninth-grade history teacher deserves a medal (she also didn’t believe in shaving her legs, and she wore tank-tops and dresses around fifteen-year-olds all year, and she deserves a medal for that, too). However, I cannot remember what the hell he did. Was he the one with, like, a bunch of tenets that he nailed to a church wall? Ah, no, Wikipedia has reminded me that he was one of the Roman emperors during the Pax Romana. Man, I remember so little from those years of my education. Wanna know the one thing I do remember? Caligula, another emperor during the Pax Romana, was so insane he made his horse priest and consul. That is honestly the one thing I remember from ancient Roman history. And I just checked with Wikipedia, and they remember it too! Hee hee! I remembered something from high school! Clearly I wasn’t high enough that day.

If I were a Roman Emperor, I would make Leo my priest and consul.

I’m rambling, aren’t I?

Anyway. I guess he’s pretty hot. Try not to mangle his pretty face during one of your temper tantrums, Naomi.

Naomi Campbell was released on bail on Friday after being arrested for spitting at a police officer at an airport.

Next stop?

Re. Hab.

Naomi’s been arrested more than once for shit like this, and she always gets off with a slap on the wrist. She’s never served a minute of jail time. But spitting on a police officer? God, I hope they throw the book at this chick. Her best bet at this point is to check herself in for some serious rehabbery, because I think it’s safe to say homegirl’s drinking again.

Last May, Naomi Campbell spouted off to W magazine about how she was truly embracing sobriety, how she’d surrendered and had found inner peace.

Last November, we caught her posed at a dinner with a glass of wine.

And yesterday, she was arrested at Heathrow Airport for spitting on a police officer after she learned one of her bags was missing.

Yeah.

I think Naomi Campbell’s off the wagon. And probably headed to rehab soon, if not to jail.

Honestly I had hoped to avoid bringing you this story — it bores me to my core — but there’s really not much else going on today, so the gossip world has hurled itself into this Naomi-Campbell-has-a-cyst story.

Yes, it’s true.

Naomi Campbell had a cyst, and it’s been removed.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines “cyst” as “an abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance.”

I know you guys are thinking the same thing I am: They took out Naomi Campbell’s entire brain?

“I cannot reveal what Naomi had, nor how serious her condition was, but I can say I operated on her yesterday, that everything went smoothly and that she is completely cured and walking in her room,” said the doctor in Brazil who operated on her.

Ugh, I have a cyst, too. Its name is Naomi Campbell. Can someone in Brazil please remove my cyst and then issue a fucking press release on a slow news day?

Naomi Campbell, an admitted alcoholic, poses with a glass of lovely white wine at the Marie Claire Prix de la Mode in Madrid.

Now I’m not saying she drank it.

I’m just saying it’s there.

Also, I don’t know how many animals died to make her wrap, but they’re all about to suffer another death at the hands of her extensions. Honestly, Naomi, your hair should accentuate your outfit, not strangle it.

Naomi Campbell attends the 37th Annual Black Retail Action Group Inc. Scholarship and Awards Dinner at Cipriani in New York.

Best I can tell, she didn’t throw a cell phone at anyone. And she looks amazing.

Maybe all that toilet-scrubbing helped her figure out what really matters in life.