Jon Gosselin is about to be a free man, but don’t let Octomom Nadya Suleman know!  She’s already confessed that she’s got a little crush on the father of many, but this newest revelation should turn your blood cold.

Octomom is open to the idea of having more kids.  Fourteen kids is not enough for this clown car.   When asked about future babies, the psycho replied “If I wanted to do it the traditional way and get married.  That’s like another chapter.”  Beyond the fact that Suleman would ever agree to being pregnant again, I cannot believe that she is publicly admitting this.  Also, who is the man that would take on this brood?

If you think you can tolerate it, watch the video of her discussing, gulp, more kids:  here.

Speaking of turkeys, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I’m pretty sure you’ll all be enjoying the gifted Molls over the next couple of days and I’ll be back for more abuse love on Monday.  I’m thankful for you.

We all have our own version of what a perfect world is.  In my edition, every rom-com actress would be put on a boat and shipped out to a far and distant land where every female cast member from The Hills would greet them at the shore.  Oh, and Jon Gosselin and Octomom are married and raise their 22 kids (did I do that math right?) together in the only infrastructure that could house them all — the Staples Center.

Sure, it may sound outlandish.  And the boat would never actually arrive at it’s destination before everyone would jump overboard just to escape Julia Roberts’ braying, but here is where reality is giving me the biggest smile I’ve had since The Beautiful Life got cancelled:  Octomom actually has a crush on Jon Gosselin.  (I almost typed “crust” instead of “crush” and I think either word works.)  Radar even has her admission on film.  Oh, God … please let this happen.  Jon and Nadya Plus 22 doesn’t sound too catchy, but I think with a little bit of imagination, we could come up with something great.  Mass O’ Massengills? Octodouche?

Back in May, when it seemed like an Octomom reality show was going to become a — well, reality, attorney Gloria Allred and former child star (Mickey Mouse Club) Paul Peterson filed suit to ensure that Nadya Suleman’s children would be properly compensated and that a third party would oversee those monies.  Suleman protested, citing family privacy and accusing Allred and Peterson of self-promoting.  

Yesterday, a judge heard the case and ruled that a guardian ad litem would be assigned to monitor the funds being paid to the children.  Each child will be paid $250 on any day that cameras are filming for the still-unnamed show.  No word on how much Nadya is being paid for her role.

Suleman was asked how she felt after the ruling — “indifferent” — but am I the only one who doesn’t really care about all that?  I’m just simply amazed at how awesome she looks after giving birth to fourteen kids.

Weren’t some of you just wondering what happened to Octomom and what kind of craziness she would pull to wrestle a little entertainment media attention away from MJ and the Gosselin’s? Well, it turns out the fastest way to get back into the news is to have your child eat a volcano.

Suleman’s 2 year old son Caleb was taken to the hospital this morning after ingesting the contents of his older brother’s volcano kit. Reports are that Caleb vomited up most of the chemicals from the kit  (which is a different kind of volcano altogether).

Suleman called the paramedics– just to be on the safe side– then posed for souvenir photos at the request of one of the firemen that arrived. Classy.

Ah, it’s the commentary we’ve all been waiting for.  Octo-Mom finally speaks out about what a totalfamewhore Kate Gosselin is.  There is nothing so ironic as one clown car uterus criticizing another clown car uterus.  You can see the video here and it’s really worth watching if only to see Octo say “Histreeeeooonic….histreeeeoooonic…..histreeeeooooonic.”  I’m more convinced than ever that Nadya Suleman’s best retort while under attack consists of some version of, “I know you are, but what am I?”

Octo-Mom is looking pretty good these days.  I can’t believe I’m saying that, but it’s true.

No, don’t worry, she’s not feeding curly fries to the newborns … well, at least we don’t have photographic evidence of that yet. Nadya Suleman was snapped picking up three of her older kids from school and taking them to Arby’s to get some drive-thru wholesome goodness.

For a bunch more of these pics, click here.

Nadya Suleman, aka “The Octomom,” is looking to trademark the term “Octomom.” The only problem is that someone else beat her to the punch: a Houston-based novelty company filed an application with the trademark office a month before she did. Only one other person thought to do that??? I would have expected at least 100 applications to be filed. It’s a good word to own these days.

Nadya’s lawyers are getting in the ring to get that word back:

“It’s not going to matter because they had no permission from Nadya, who has the rightful claim to the name ‘Octomom’, ” says Suleman’s attorney Jeff Czech.

Suleman has previously said she disliked being called “Octomom,” but the unemployed mother of 14 realized it could be used to provide a source of revenue for her family. “She’s never warmed to it, but the idea would be for others to use it for licensing,” says Czech. “It’s just a smart thing to do.”

I don’t know shit about the law, but I don’t see how Nadya has the right to this word over anyone else. After all, she didn’t think of it. Bloggers did. See how much value we add to the economy?

We all knew it was just a matter of time. Now the Octomom, Nadya Suleman, and her bazillion helpless children, have landed a TV show. Except it’ll only be airing in the UK … and then they’ll see if the US is interested.

“Yes, it is official. I’m going to be doing a show, but it’s not a reality show,” Nadya tells Life & Style. “What I’m doing with this TV show is basically creating documentaries about the lives of my children. It’s going to be an ongoing thing, and it will follow them from now until they are 18. It’s being done by Eyeworks; they’re in the UK. It will air in the UK and then we’ll see if the US is interested.”

Nadya adds that the documentary style of the show won’t infringe on her family’s privacy: “The producers will come here to film six times a year. They’ll come by and take some footage and then they’ll go. They won’t be invading my life or my children’s lives.”

Plus, the filming will help this busy mom remember the important milestones for her children. “It will give me the opportunity to have incredible home movies that, believe me, I don’t have the time to make myself. Having this documentary crew allows me to focus on raising my children and still have great movies of them.”

I’m kind of confused about this only airing in the UK. You’d think the US networks would be all over this shit like sperm on Nadya Suleman’s eggs. Are they worried about the backlash from the enormous amount of people in the US who realize that this woman is batshit insane and doesn’t deserve to be compensated for bringing children into the world without the resources to take care of them? Don’t people in the UK feel the same? British readers, what’s the feeling over there about the Octomom?

Octomom Nadya Suleman appears on the cover of InTouch Weekly with six of her eight babies.

Thank God they all seem healthy so far!!!

I wonder how much InTouch paid for this exclusive. Probably more than you made this year. What are you waiting for? Quit your job and have eight kids!

Star Magazine is reporting that Angelina Jolie is contemplating giving a “sizeable donation” to octo-mom Nadya Suleman to help with childcare and medical costs:

Star has learned the actress is seriously considering donating thousands of dollars to the overwhelmed 33-year-old single mom, whose brood includes 2-month-old octuplets.

“Angelina is worried about the best interests of the kids,” explains a source. “As a mom of six, she knows how chaotic and costly raising a big family can be.”

But keep in mind that this is Star Magazine, and you’d be better off believing stories told by Courtney Love in an AA meeting. I find it highly doubtful that Jolie feels anything other than disturbed by this woman and her obsession with her. Doing anything to encourage that attachment would be an extremely stupid move. Say what you want about Jolie, she’s not that stupid.

“In good conscience, I can’t continue representing Nadya. I wish her the best of luck. She’s going to need it.”

Octomom Nadya Suleman’s rep, Victor Munoz, who announced this weekend that he’s quitting.

Victor is the second rep this month to ditch the Octomom. Her first rep, Mike Firtney and partner Joann Killian, quit earlier this month after receiving scores of death threats via email on their office phone. “Many were so obscene, they can’t be repeated,” Mike said.

Yes, it’s true.  We’ve all been waiting for this, and now the time has come.  The video of Octo-mom giving birth is on the market for some obscene seven-digit figure.  Now, you think a standard birthing video is sick?  Just wait until you see c-section footage with eight babies being yanked out of Nadya Suleman’s octomen.

Now, listen.  If there is some multi-millionaire out there who has the bucks to buy this sin against all that is sane in the world, can you please take the million bucks and buy a house for these kids instead?  Maybe part of the purchase agreement could include an immediate destroying of the video and all copies.