Mischa Barton’s parents are surprisingly normal. For example, they have no friggin idea what it is that Mischa does for a living, which makes them just like the rest of us. 

Mischa said, “My mom and dad are still a bit confused and cautious about what I do.”

“My dad is a stockbroker who studied law and economics and his dad was a politician. But I know him and my mom are still very proud of me.”

Riiiiight. Very proud, I’m sure. I bet when all the other parents are talking about Jimmy’s doctorate or Sue’s thriving law career her parents whip out one of those over-priced headbands and everyone is just blown away by Mischa’s ingenuity.

Clearly I have missed all the talk lately about how Mischa Barton’s lost a ton of weight, because I haven’t really noticed it. She’s dropped a few pounds in the past few months, yeah, but it hasn’t been, like, a gigantic Lohan-style drop or anything, and I still think she looks perfectly healthy. Mischa took to her blog to defend herself against the weight-loss rumors:

So lately there’s been a lot of crazy press about my weight and just so you guys know I’m happier and healthier than ever so there is no need to worry about me. Things are really well in Mischa world and I’ve just been watching what I eat.

I still love my pilates and yoga, and have cut back on fatty foods a bit. My time in India and Paris really just helped me lose a little bit of weight but there’s nothing drastic going on!

I appreciate the concern, I just wish the press wouldn’t harbor on it as I think it’s very unhealthy for young girls to read about and pay attention to. To my female fans: Just be happy and secure with yourself and don’t let other people’s perceptions of you dictate the way you live your life.

Just so you guys can check it out, I’ve put a few pics below that were taken of Mischa in the past month. She doesn’t look anorexic to me — she’s just cleaned up her eating a bit since this fall. I think she looks really good, actually.

The beautiful and always fashion forward Mischa Barton, as a streetwalker walking the streets of New York.  Isn’t she super fab?  Great shoes!

Please.  The traffic cone has better fashion sense than she does.

Sweet Jesus, I hate her.  But you guys already know that.  What do you think of her get-up?

I think it’s only fair that I warn you of my current frame of mind; I just spent the morning on the phone fighting with the IRS.

Having said that, I hate Mischa Barton.  Have I mentioned this before?  I guess you could say she is my Mandy Moore.  Like, she was doing okay for a minute, where she wasn’t looking totally horrible.  I knew I’d be karmically punished if I said nice things about her and sure enough, I was.  Hellloooooo IRS.  So, I’m back on track now and willing to repay my debt to the universe.

Here’s Mischa at a P3R showroom in California.  I’m sure it was a scheduled photo shoot but WireImage has it listed as a general sighting.  They are so used to her pretending that she’s ultra cool and casual and unaware of the cameras around her, that they can’t tell the difference.  Remember when she got the DUI and then went to the park with her dog, crying and trying to appear all “I’m so into my pet and I’m a good person and I’m completely unaware that my picture is being taken,”?  Please.

You know what I’m so used to?  Barton doing really stupid things like wearing ivory crochet inset dresses with dark brown tights underneath.

I’ve really been struggling because Mischa Barton has been showing up all over hell looking, well, decent.  Oh, more than decent, really.  She’s been strolling around Paris in haute couture looking-attractive?  Just saying that sentence makes me feel like I’ve spit in the face of all I hold to be absolute truth.

So seeing Mischa Fierce leaving Bardot nightclub donning Citizens of Humanity cut-offs with ripped leggings, Kurt Cobain flannel, studded belt and a Boy George hat really brings me an inner peace.  It also brings the realization that her ensemble features at least one of the biggest trends of each of the past three decades.  She is the history of fashion.

As a side note, Mischa’s single again.  The Kooks lead singer, Luke Pritchard, gave Misch walking papers after a lengthy two months of dating.  Now she can totally continue on with her trendy fake lesbianism.  And she can do it all in ripped leggings.

It goes against everything I believe in to have three Mischa Fierce posts in one week, but she’s all over the place during Paris Fashion Week.  It cannot be avoided.  She’s obviously attending the shows and certainly not lunching.  Girl looks good!  Yes, you heard me right.

Remember when Linda Evangelista said she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000?  I think she needs to revisit that number based on her current condition.  And let me save you the trouble; no, it isn’t a snatch shot.  Trust me, I zoomed.

Also, make sure you check out the close up of Dita Von Teese’s shoes, or you know, torture devices.  No wonder she only grimaces.

Now that we’re not getting new pics every day of Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, it seems like every last starlet is trying to step up to the lesbian chic plate.

Right now: Mischa Barton, who sucked face with a girlfriend at her 23rd birthday party in Paris, and then was all like:

The anonymous female I was photographed with is actually my close friend Irina. Irina works as a model in Paris and since meeting a few months ago we have been spending a lot of time together. We share a lot of the same interests and I really enjoy her company. I guess you can say she’s become my Paris partner in crime!

So no, I haven’t switched teams. In fact, I have someone else that is keeping me occupied at the moment ; )

OMG, Mischa, nobody cares who you’re dating. Stop making out with chicks to try to get us interested in your love life.