Mischa Barton Terrorizes The United Kingdom
Friday, April 10th, 2009
Do you ever just avoid something in hopes that it will eventually go away? I had a friend who did that, and now she’s dead of cancer. For two days I’ve been ignoring the fact that Mischa Barton is naked on the shudder-worthy cover of May’s Cosmo UK with the headline, “Your Body Rocks,” but this damn story keeps popping up again and again. Let’s get this over, shall we? Sidenote: I just realized that, lately, every time I write about Mischa Barton, I reference cancer. Coincidence?
The main topic of Mischa’s interview is self acceptance. “Surely there are more important issues than if someone has cellulite? And I don’t understand the point of people looking for bad things. Why bother? I know it’s human nature to want to pick on other people, but I find it a little shallow,” Barton says. Obviously, what she doesn’t understand is that, yes, there are much more important issues than if someone has cellulite. Unless it’s on her, in which case it is the most important thing that could ever be reported.
And though she’s quick to call her critics shallow, she’s just as quick to let everyone know that she’s gone from a size twelve to a six. Whatever, Mischa. No one cares that you “feel confident now,” and that you are “happy and healthy.” You still aren’t talented and isn’t that a prerequisite for being an actress?
If there is any relief in this maelstrom of Mischa it is this: in being naked on the cover, she has spared us from yet another clusterfuck wardrobe selection.





















