Look, I couldn’t even get through two minutes of the preview for Mischa Barton’s new movie, Finding t.A.T.u., about “two teenage girls, Janie who is American and Lana who is Russian, [who] fall in love after meeting at a t.A.T.u concert and are swept into a dangerous world of obsession, drug abuse and murder.”

But if you’re a die-hard Mischa fan, or you just want to watch her making out with a chick, maybe you’ll get through the whole thing. If you do, let me know if something interesting happens in the last two minutes.

Honestly, Mischa, is this what you’ve been reduced to? Damn, girl, get a new agent. Or lay off the weed and start reading your own damn scripts. This looks awful.

At a polo match in Southampton this weekend.

These pictures were taken before Mischa’s reported bad trip and hospital visit on Sunday. Ironically, in these pics, it looks like Nicole’s the one who needs to be rushed to the hospital. Hair is not supposed to look like that, Nicole.

Oh, Memorial Day weekend. I have to be honest, kids, I caught about 30 seconds of local news tonight before The Simpsons, and they were interviewing people with family in Iraq at some event in downtown L.A., and I was like, “Oh, shit, that’s right! This is the holiday about war veterans!” I get it confused with Labor Day. (What’s that one about, anyway? Slaves?) And, admit it, for most of you, Memorial Day weekend is not about remembering our soldiers abroad or at home; it’s about getting so incredibly fucked up you can’t remember where you live, let alone the troops.*

Well, Mischa Barton was doing her part to support our shrooms at a house party on Sunday, where she was tripping so hard she thought she was dying. She made such a scene that an ambulance was called, and she was taken out of the party on a stretcher by paramedics. She was hospitalized immediately, and remains in the hospital tonight.

Her reps are trying to spin it like she had a few alcoholic beverages while she was on antibiotics, but seriously? What the fuck were the antibiotics? Shrooms? Because if mixing alcoholic beverages with antibiotics regularly landed people in the hospital, I’d be so fucking dead right now. It’s birth control you’re not supposed to mix with antibiotics, people (and birth control should, for the record, always be in the mix with alcohol, but I digress).

Mischa has a long and illustrious history with drugs, with many a photo of her smoking weed circulating the Internet. Remember this? Or this? Or when her kid sister checked into rehab in February? Yeah.

You know what’s sad? Part of me is feeling like she’s really responsible, since she didn’t drive. Sigh.

*For the record, here at The Evil Beet, we fully support our troops. Our administration is a different story.

Arriving at Mr. Chow’s on Friday night. I think my favorite part of this outfit is the torn-to-shreds Louis Vuitton shorts. Oh, the couture ennui …

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Mischa Barton hits the Mary Jane — again — in Cannes. Sometimes a girl just needs a break from a busy schedule of hawking Keds.

Mischa Barton has a little wardrobe malfunction in London. She’s gonna get a lot more career mileage out of these shots than the whole Keds thing. Uncensored pics after the jump.

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I know we’ve been following the “Mischa Barton + Keds = True Love” story pretty hard so here’s the latest breaking news.

In this picture I believe she is wearing normal (acceptable) footwear. I could be off the mark here, as I don’t really know the whole Keds line. If I’m wrong I’ll take a comment ding. But if I’m right I want it known that I nailed her first.

Put your Keds back on! And eat something.

Next up, Adam Brody, Elisha Cuthbert, and Amber Tamblyn. These guys all look hot in their own little way, no? Brody is rocking a full fledged adult male thing and somehow the slightly stoned vibe makes Elisha work for me. Plus I’m a sucker for redheads (Amber Tamblyn).

It should be noted that all these, again, are from the Coachella event. The fact checker (whom I’m on the phone with now) tells me that this event is in Indio, California and features music acts. There seems to be a charity angle as well. So all you guys near Indio (home of the Indio High Rajahs) hustle on down to see both music and Scarlett’s cow legs.