I don’t understand why AskMen.com always tells us the most desirable person of a given year at the beginning of the year. Is this the person that we desired the most in 2009 and that we’re not recognizing until 2010 or are they telling us who we’re supposed to concentrate on desiring in 2010? I don’t need to pull a muscle in my brain trying to sort this out, AskMen.com. SPELL. IT. OUT.

Anyway! You guys! Literally, you guys! You all voted on the top 99 hotties on AskMen.com and they’ve just released their surprising annual list. OK, let me rephrase that. I am not shocked by the list, it’s actually who I would have picked, too. Rather, I am surprised that everyone didn’t just vote for Megan Fox. Meggo didn’t even make the top 10, she fell on the list at 11. Number 1 is actually the young lady pictured above, Emmanuelle Chriqui. You probably know her as Eric on Entourage’s fiance Sloan. I’d like to congratulate the men of the world for ranking a seemingly sweet and charming woman as desirable. You’ve come so far.

Also in the top ten? Numbers two and three are Marisa Miller and Kate Beckinsale. Following them are Alessandra Ambrosio, Jessica Alba, Beyonce, Penélope Cruz, Cheryl Cole, Eva Mendes and Miranda Kerr. Not a bad list and not really anyone I would qualify as “scarily skanky” in sight. Maybe in these hard economic times men mostly “desire” smart and dependable women that can act as a pillar of strength for them, or maybe it’s just a coincidence that none of them give me “ho vibes”.

Who would you rank as the most desirable woman?

This is the chick that Orlando Bloom has proposed to, twice. This is also the chick that has turned down Orland Bloom, twice.

These are pictures of said chick, Miranda Kerr, modeling the new line of Victoria’s Secret lingerie.

Now, I drink as much haterade as the next girl who spends a little more time each day struggling  into her size 10 jeans (that seem to be magically shrinking like one of Rick Moranis’ on screen children in a Disney movie). But I’ve gotta say, I honestly don’t find her attractive. She definitely doesn’t have a bad body. But sexy? No.

In fact, the above picture reminds me of one of those creepy, lifesize Japanese sex dolls. (Link shows fake, plastic titties and is NSFW.)

I also think I see some pube stubble peeking out of the top of her skivvies in this one.

But to each his (or her) own, I guess.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr were caught going at it on the balcony. You can tell it’s all steamy passionate due to the face clutching we see going on in the photo. Either this is a blatant photo op or these kids truly are crazy about each other.

Engagement announcement on the horizon perhaps?

Despite reports from this weekend, Orlando Bloom is denying reports that he and Miranda Kerr are engaged. “These rumors are not true,” he says.

You can breathe a sigh of relief now, ladies.

Finally, a couple I can stand!  Orlando Bloom and Victoria’s Secret Model Miranda Kerr are engaged and planning a wedding for next summer.  I need these two to get on the procreating right away.  I cannot even fathom what the genetics of these two could possibly produce.

Thanks Down Unda!

Ick!!!

Super-hottie model Miranda Kerr has reportedly broken up with boyfriend Orlando Bloom — and landed back in the arms of her ex, greasy, alcoholic billionaire Brandon Davis.

Brandon and Miranda were spotted sucking face all over the NYC club scene earlier this week.

Who would want to kiss Brandon Davis? I’d honestly be worried about horrible acne break-outs with my skin in such close proximity to all his grease. It seems like quite a risk to take for someone who makes her living based on her looks! I hope she’s using her ProActiv at night!

This photo was taken of Orlando and Miranda going on vacation together in late June — so something must have happened recently to disturb their romance. Wonder what it was.

It looks like it!

In addition to his ­recent fling with Jessica Simpson, 27, the Pirates of the Caribbean hunk, 30, is on a fast-track romance with model Miranda Kerr, 24.

“They’ve been friends for a long time,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But they only decided to give it a go a few weeks back.”

On ­October 18, Bloom turned out to support the Aussie stunner at the Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta Pink party in Beverly Hills.

An insider tells Us the couple took an amorous jaunt to East Hampton, New York, on October 4 and 5.

While at dinner at the 1770 House, they held hands and sipped wine. Gushes the source, “Miranda’s very into him!”

I think what this girl really needs are longer legs.