This is the chick that Orlando Bloom has proposed to, twice. This is also the chick that has turned down Orland Bloom, twice.

These are pictures of said chick, Miranda Kerr, modeling the new line of Victoria’s Secret lingerie.

Now, I drink as much haterade as the next girl who spends a little more time each day struggling  into her size 10 jeans (that seem to be magically shrinking like one of Rick Moranis’ on screen children in a Disney movie). But I’ve gotta say, I honestly don’t find her attractive. She definitely doesn’t have a bad body. But sexy? No.

In fact, the above picture reminds me of one of those creepy, lifesize Japanese sex dolls. (Link shows fake, plastic titties and is NSFW.)

I also think I see some pube stubble peeking out of the top of her skivvies in this one.

But to each his (or her) own, I guess.

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr were caught going at it on the balcony. You can tell it’s all steamy passionate due to the face clutching we see going on in the photo. Either this is a blatant photo op or these kids truly are crazy about each other.

Engagement announcement on the horizon perhaps?

Despite reports from this weekend, Orlando Bloom is denying reports that he and Miranda Kerr are engaged. “These rumors are not true,” he says.

You can breathe a sigh of relief now, ladies.

Finally, a couple I can stand!  Orlando Bloom and Victoria’s Secret Model Miranda Kerr are engaged and planning a wedding for next summer.  I need these two to get on the procreating right away.  I cannot even fathom what the genetics of these two could possibly produce.

Thanks Down Unda!

Ick!!!

Super-hottie model Miranda Kerr has reportedly broken up with boyfriend Orlando Bloom — and landed back in the arms of her ex, greasy, alcoholic billionaire Brandon Davis.

Brandon and Miranda were spotted sucking face all over the NYC club scene earlier this week.

Who would want to kiss Brandon Davis? I’d honestly be worried about horrible acne break-outs with my skin in such close proximity to all his grease. It seems like quite a risk to take for someone who makes her living based on her looks! I hope she’s using her ProActiv at night!

This photo was taken of Orlando and Miranda going on vacation together in late June — so something must have happened recently to disturb their romance. Wonder what it was.

It looks like it!

In addition to his ­recent fling with Jessica Simpson, 27, the Pirates of the Caribbean hunk, 30, is on a fast-track romance with model Miranda Kerr, 24.

“They’ve been friends for a long time,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But they only decided to give it a go a few weeks back.”

On ­October 18, Bloom turned out to support the Aussie stunner at the Victoria’s Secret Phi Beta Pink party in Beverly Hills.

An insider tells Us the couple took an amorous jaunt to East Hampton, New York, on October 4 and 5.

While at dinner at the 1770 House, they held hands and sipped wine. Gushes the source, “Miranda’s very into him!”

I think what this girl really needs are longer legs.