I’m sure Milla Jovovich has done plenty of important things in her career besides be the chick in The Fifth Element who was all like “Moooolteeeepasss” but I don’t really care about any of it. All I want to do is watch the clips of her saying “multipass” over and over and over again. It’s one of my favorite moments in all of cinema. (My very favorite is, as you all know, the Lindsay Lohan Georgia Rules row-boat blow-job scene.)

Milla Multipass tied the knot this weekend with her longtime boyfriend, director Paul Anderson, in front of about fifty guests. The couple have one daughter together, little Ever Gabo.

Mila Jovovich and fiancé, director Paul Anderson, will tie the knot this weekend (possibly today) in Los Angeles.

“It’s just going to be family and close friends. And it’s at our home and it’s going to be kind of Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It’s going to be nice.”

As for the wedding attire? The bride, 33, told PEOPLE she’s wearing a gown she designed herself and describes it as a “1960’s mini-dress.”

The couple have a daughter together, 20 month old Ever Gabo.

I’m happy for them, I guess. But with Adriana Lima falling off the beauty wagon, this means I no longer have any options for spur of the moment lesbian trysts that will never really happen in real life.

Because when it comes to lesbian trysts, I respect the sanctity of marriage.

Here’s Milla Jovovich to remind you what your legs could look like if you actually went to the gym every time you thought about going to the gym but decided instead to watch that My Fiance Prefers to Have Sex with Dogs But I’m Going to Marry Him Anyway episode of Jerry Springer. (”Jerry, I know he’ll change! He won’t have time to do that stuff with our terrier anymore. Because I’m pregnant!”)

Thanks, Milla!

I’m sorry, but I can’t look at Milla Jovovich without thinking of that scene from The Fifth Element.

Mul. Ti. Pass!

Anyway, here’s Mila and her daughter, Ever, spending some time together in Paris.

The photo agency has this tagged as “Milla Jovovich and her son.” Despite the fact that there is a flower on this child’s hat. And they were there. Never underestimate the stupidity of your local paparazzi.

Sadly, no one told her all night.  Every rack picture of Nicole Richie at The Art of Elysium 2nd Annual Heaven Gala is the same.  Exposed cutlets.  In the photo gallery, there is another picture of Richie with Milla Jovovich that can only be interpreted as  “You’re pregnant?  Congratulations!”  So when Nicole and Joel make their announcement, remember you heard it here first.

I have a dress fetish.  I think I’ve mentioned it before.  There are probably sixty dresses in my closet that have never seen the light of day.  I have kids that throw tater tots at me for target practice; fleece is my life.  Yet I still accumulate these dresses in the hopes that I may someday have a reason to wear fabric made from materials that are actually found in nature.  Until that time comes, I fixate on gowns worn by the famous and work through my addiction by crafting obscenely large photo galleries here on Evil Beet.

Speaking of (kind of) famous, my phone rang last week and it was Patricia Arquette.  She was like “zOMG, can I please, please, please borrow your junior prom dress?  I want to wear it to the The Art of Elysium 2nd Annual Heaven Gala next week!“  I eventually relented but told her that she’d have to find her own inappropriate, clunky platform pumps.  Sadly, she obeyed.

Also, is anyone planning on seeing Trudie Styler any time soon?  If you are, could you please ask to see her license?  And then show her the date on said license.  Inform her that she’s approaching sixty.  If ever there was a time to abandon sequin miniskirts, sixty would be that time.  She can keep the tantric fucking…the skirt has to go.

And since I’m secretly convinced that Richie is knocked up, Kate Bosworth is my new focus.  I know she has a fast metabolism, but when your forehead is looking too skinny to the point that your cranium veins are showing, it’s time to stop smiling at your dinner plate and start eating what’s on it.

Finally, a simple question that I need answers to:  What the hell happened to Shannen Doherty?

I haven’t even had caffeine yet today; I told you dresses excite me.  They are, like, my Red Bull and methamphetamine cocktail.

At the Patrick Demarchelier exhibition party in Paris, with director Paul Anderson, her long-time boyfriend and baby daddy.

Inexplicably, I kind of love it. This is probably because there is something very, very wrong with me today. I just don’t know what. But clearly one of the symptoms is poor fashion sense. Someone alert Dr. House and his team.

Katy Perry looks absolutely edible at the Dior show at Paris fashion week.

Honestly I feel like if I licked her she would taste like candy.

Also there: Lily Allen, Dita Von Teese, Milla Jovovich and Travis McCoy.