I promise you, I’m not working on some Twitter theme today.  It’s just working out that way-everything I want to talk about somehow leads back to that useless social network.

In the past few weeks there have been a couple sightings of Miley Cyrus having lunch with her ex, boy bander Nick Jonas.  Could this white-hot yet chaste love affair be back on again?  According to Miley, no.  And I know I’m repeating myself here, but she has documented it all on Twitter.

Listen, I don’t know who Miley is boning and I don’t really care.  I’m much more concerned about the fact that I was in Baby Gap this weekend and really enjoying a song they were piping into the store-so much so that I made a mental note of the lyrics so I could Google it when I got home to see whose song it was (and you know, let my husband know so he could do whatever it is that he does to make it magically appear in my iPod).  And it was a Miley Cyrus song!  Terror!  Horror!  Herpes of the brain!

And can we take some bets on the fact that there is no way that this is the last Miley has to say about this “stupidddd rumor.”

whats “the rumor” everyones tweeting me about?

regarding “rumor” i like to keep my private life as private as possible. justin and nick are two very amazing people and they both mean so

much to me. it makes me sad to think that people out there arent friends with THEIR ex bf, because let me tell u it IS possible.

i heard once “u can love more than one in your life but there is only one love of your life” i love both of them so much and they are both

very dear to my heart. justin is an amazing person! he can always make me laugh and has a heart of gold. and nick is so lovely. he reaches

out to so many people with his music, not only with his talent but with his heart. our love for music is something that keeps our friendship

together and I KNOW NO MATTER he will be my friend forver. so there thats all i will say about this stupidddd rumor

Miley Cyrus squeezes into yet another wildly age-appropriate outfit for the UK premiere of Hannah Montana, which she attended with her boyfriend father.

There are six tracks from the new Hannah Montana soundtrack on the Billboard 100 this week.

Most of you have already heard “The Climb,” which is leading the HM pack at #8 on the charts, but the runner-up track is “Hoedown Throwdown,” and you’re less likely to have heard it if you don’t spend a lot of time around a 12-year-old. I heard it for the first time about a week ago. I wanted to Hoedown Throwup, if you get my drift, and so I’m totally forcing it on all of you. It’s above. If I were really cruel, I’d set it to auto-play, but I still have a little bit of kindness left in my evil heart.

Hey, remember on Sunday, when Jamie Foxx went off all batshit crazy about Miley Cyrus, the one who “gotta get a gum transplant” and “do some heroin” and “put some crack your pipe”? As of Tuesday afternoon, he had yet to issue an apology, and word on the street was that Papa Cyrus was PISSED. “He thinks Jamie was out of line and didn’t find any humor in it,” said a source. “He doesn’t understand why he would do that to Miley especially since he has teenage daughter himself … Billy Ray isn’t going to say anything publicly because he doesn’t want to this to escalate.”

The actor and comedian has been taking a lot of heat lately for his comments about the 16-year-old, which began when a random caller phoned into his radio show to say that he thought Miley was a bitch.

But when Foxx went on Jay Leno’s show Tuesday night, Leno pushed the issue, and Foxx finally apologized.

“Did you say something inappropriate?” Jay Leno innocently queried of the Oscar winner on Tuesday’s Tonight Show.

“Yeah,” Foxx admitted, taking a few breaths before launching into a full-blown apology.

“I so apologize to [Cyrus], and this is sincere,” he began. “I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it. [Big laugh from the audience]. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far.

“I have a radio show…We’re really the black Howard Stern. We go at everybody. There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously. You know I’m a comedian. You know my heart,” he added, turning to Leno.

Then, looking at the camera, “Miley, I apologize, so I’ll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand.”

What do we think, guys? Apology accepted or no?

Jamie Foxx took a call on his radio show on Sunday, and the caller was talking shit about Miley Cyrus for allegedly talking shit about Radiohead. At first, Jamie was like, “Who is Miley Cyrus?” and then he remembered her as “the one with all the gums … she gotta get a gum transplant!” He later mentions that she should “get like Britney Spears and do some heroin” and “do like Lindsay Lohan and start seeing a lesbian, get some crack in your pipe.”

Sheesh, Jamie, telling Miley Cyrus to do drugs is my gig. Quit stealing all my bits, asshole.

Congrats to Miley & Co., who steam-rolled through the box office with $34 million in ticket sales and a #1 debut with the Hannah Montana movie.

“Hannah Montana” drew $17.3 million on Friday for the biggest opening day ever for a G-rated live-action movie.

While girls 12 and younger and their moms made up most of the audience, “Hannah Montana” also attracted a solid crowd of teenage girls, fans reaching the age when they might be outgrowing the show, said Mark Zoradi, president of Disney’s motion-picture group.

“Miley’s audience stayed with her,” Zoradi said. “Those that enjoyed the show on TV and maybe have become young teens themselves came back for the movie.”

Meanwhile, Seth Rogen’s dark comedy, Observe and Report, opening a disappointing #4 with $11M in ticket sales, and Fast & Furious fell to the #2 spot, confirming once again that teenage girls are way more powerful than teenage boys.

Also, this clip is inexplicably one of the most popular on YouTube right now:

Really, how many teenagers do we need belting out power ballads? Who is this girl?

Set your DVRs because Miley Cyrus is on The Rachael Ray Show tomorrow.  Can you imagine the cacophony of those two little squawkers?  Ugh.  Need.  Booze.

Miley shares that dating Justin Gaston has brought her closer to the Lord.  As in, “Oh God.  Oh, Lord, whatever you are doing, don’t…ever…stop…”

Just kidding, just kidding.  Miley would never talk during sex because she knows that her voice automatically thrusts erections around the world into the no-fly zone.

Seriously though, Cyrus told Ray, not Billy but Rachael, “I’ve never been closer to the Lord since I met him.  He’s really made me read my Bible.  He’s made me actually read the stories in the Bible-not the quick little verses-that not only help me, but show you how to help other people.”

In other words, she knows Justin Gaston biblically-which we already knew.

Other exciting parts of the taped segment include Miley talking about how she didn’t like Gaston initially, and that she is learning how to color her own hair for eight dollars instead of paying eight hundred dollars to have it done professionally.  Fascinating stuff.