It will be a brief cameo, but still! Miley Cyrus is about to appear in a movie with the word “sex” in the title. While rumors have been circulating that Miley may have something to do with the new flick for some time, things were up in the air due to her hectic schedule. However, it’s just been confirmed that Miley will have a role in Sex and the City 2.

*Spoiler Alert*

The scene that Miley will appear in is a undetermined red carpet event that both she and Samantha attend wearing the exact. same. dress. The horrors! The gag is that Miley looks extremely hot and young compared to the aging Samantha, whose menopause was a hot topic in the first film. Mario Cantone’s character, Anthony, upon seeing Miley gasps “Mother of God:  She is wearing the same dress as Hannah Montana.” As of right now Miley doesn’t have any speaking parts, but I doubt that she’ll remain a featured extra for long.

What do I think about this development? I think it’s probably good thing for a film that’s going to already suck. As a huge fan of the series, I was mortified by the movie, which I felt more or less detracted from the message of the first show and mocked the audience. However, now that a new generation of viewers has grown to love the series via watered down TBS reruns, I’m sure Miley will help sell more tickets.

I’m trying to decide what my favorite moment of the Teen Choice Awards was. Fox actually cut one of my favorite moments, where Dane Cook asked where Vanessa Hudgens was, she raised her hand, and then he told her she needed to put some clothes on. It’s in the clip above. Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha! OMG that’s so funny, Dane! Get it? Because she’s had naked photo scandals twice now? I can’t think of a wittier approach to the situation. I love this clip not because it disses Vanessa (I don’t really care about that), but because it makes Dane Cook look like the lame douche that he is.

My other favorite is the clip below, where Miley Cyrus practically confesses her desire to lick Britney Spears’ feet as she presents her with the Ultimate Lord of the Universe and All of Time and Space and Malibu surfboard, and then Britney comes on stage with half a broom stuck on top of her head and runs away from Miley as quickly as possible. She then mumbles like two sentences into the microphone as quickly as she possibly can and gets offstage as fast as possible, like her Xanax is going to turn into a pumpkin if she doesn’t take it before midnight. In fairness: her legs look amazing the whole time.

First off, let me say this: Miley Cyrus was not pole-dancing at the Teen Choice Awards last night (the actual show airs tonight). But unless Fox opts to cut away for the part around 1:08 in the above video, that’s all anyone’s going to be talking about tomorrow. Let me tell you what I assume happened: Miley was supposed to ride around the stage in that stupid pushcart and maybe do a few dance moves. The pole was on the pushcart so she didn’t fall off. Miley got on the pushcart, grabbed the pole, and immediately started to grind on it, almost like a reflex. Then she heard the audience’s reaction and she was like, “Oh, shit, I shouldn’t be grinding on a pole at the Teen Choice Awards. I should save that shit for Nick. Or Justin. Or whoever I’m sleeping with right now. I forget. Bradley Cooper’s pretty hot. Wait? Where am I?” and by the time that little reverie was over she was already off the pushcart.

Guarantee you that little move wasn’t in the original choreography.

Still. I ::heart:: this girl so much. Years and years of fun, she’s gonna be.

It’s red carpet time! Or, I guess in this case, it’s green carpet time. Young Hollywood turned out in droves for Sunday night’s Teen Choice Awards. I don’t know who won what award because I’m not a teen, and it’s not my choice. I chose to watch football. But I do enjoy seeing who wore what to the awards show.

The green carpet was shot outside, in natural light– something for which Beet always cuts celebs a little extra slack. But not me. Because its the same light that all of us have to live every day of our lives in. So when a celeb shows up on the red carpet in natural light that reveals their haggard eye bags and pancake makeup, I feel highly vindicated. Case in point: Amanda Bynes (above). I’m not sure what kinds of bottles she’s been hitting, or how often, but I’m convinced that bottles are definitely being hit.

I’m also convinced that inside Rumer Willis’ gullet is a pelican desperately struggling to swallow a fish.

Britney Spears, on the other hand, looked fabulous. I’ve never been a big fan of her fashion choices, but her dress tonight was sexy with a touch of  class.

Miley Cyrus showed up in an outfit that may have been made up of pieces from her Wal-mart line. I have nothing against Wal-mart, and definitely nothing against Miley, but I’m not so sure that was the best fashion choice for an awards show. Nothing says tacky like a darkly colored bra showing through a wife beater.

Other atendees included Robert Pattinson, looking drugged and disheveled as ever, Kristen Bell in my least favorite celeb fashion trend of the last few years (a jumpsuit), the Jonas Brothers, Fergie, Emma Roberts, Jordin Sparks, Kristen Stewart, Alexis Bledel, Ashley Tisdale, Selena Gomez, and Kat Von D.

So who had your favorite look of the evening? Worst?

The queen of the pre-teens has teamed up with BCBG designer Max Azria in what appears to be a well-coordinated effort to dilute both their brands. You can check out the full collection they’ve “designed” for Walmart here, but I’ve pulled some of my favorite items and posted them in the gallery below. It’s the best, brightest and cheapest from eight seasons ago. And get this: With the exception of the skinny jeans ($20), nothing in this line retails for more than $12. Most of the shirts are $6 or $7. It must be very exciting for Miley’s 8-year-old Malaysian fans to get to play such an important role in her empire, sewing this shit day and night for $0.25 an hour. Congrats Miley and Max! You’re going to make a lot of money, and all it cost you was your souls.

Miley’s back to being Miley, lounging around looking all sexual.  Remember when she was in Vanity Fair and she had a kinda, sorta ambiguous slutty, “I Just Got Out Of The Shower, Thanks For Having Me” look going on?  Is thispic of our Christian and virginal Miley taken for August’s Elle blatant enough for you?

Anyway, Miley’s working hard plugging her new clothing line that she’s been working on in partnership with Max Azria.  I love when people take their non-essential projects and try to attach serious social meaning to them.  I’m going to use her exact quote to ensure that I don’t miss a “like.”  She said, “The jeans are my favorite part of the entire line.  Because, like, literally this is going to be good for, like, Middle America, and it will be great for kids that really want to be in fashion but that don’t have it available.”

Yes, Miley.  Good stitch work, dark denim and five-pocket styling assembled by child labor workers is exactly what Middle America needs right now.  She’s, like, our saviour.

Alrighty, so Hugh Jackman and Miley Cyrus are going to be in some craptastic movie together.  It’s a really original plot.  She plays a spoiled heiress and he’s the bodyguard hired to protect her at all cost.  Yeah, that’s it.

Hasn’t this already been done?  It’s like The Bodyguard without the sex.  Dear God, I hope without the sex.  Didn’t the Olsen twins do this storyline in one of their many straight-to-DVD efforts?  And the most pressing question of all:  How did Hugh Jackman fall so far and so fast as to think that starring in a Miley Cyrus anything was a good idea?